This might sound catty-- girl I know might have Asperger's.

Post Reply New Topic

I know this girl. We're kind of friends, and my brother certainly seems to liker her. She knows I'm an Aspie, and hasn't said anything about my stimming and need for alone time.

I have come to suspect that she has Asperger's. She's blunt to the point of being harmful, rambles about her stories, interjects in front of people, has admitted that she's not good socially, often jiggles her hand, and when she learned about "self-care" during our talk sessions at church, began to paint on her hand. She is also quite huggy, moreso than usual.

I am kind of excited about this, because I don't know other Aspie girls in real life. However, I've gotten better at filters, and now wonder if it would be awkward to ask her.

I think it would be best to just see if you could become friends.
Maybe later on you could bring up that you're an Aspie and see what she says,
if you go that route, I wouldn't do it right away.
What if she's an Aspie but doesn't know it?
Might be a shock for someone else to suggest that to her.

...

Honestly, to my knowledge, she could even qualify for it from what I know of her. I'm not a shrink, though...

She knows I have Asperger's, she didn't say anything. But she has some really glaring traits... :T

I don't know how to delicately approach the topic.

Then don't? Why not just concentrate on your friendship and leave AS out of it? Why would it do any good to highlight a fault? (Yes, yes, I know it isn't a fault, but that's how she'll see it.)

I'm not sure. I really wish someone would have pointed out my AS to me sooner, it would have saved me a lot of suffering. As for going about telling her, you could say something to the effect of, "You remind me a lot of me; you do X, Y and Z just like I do. Have you ever wondered if you were an aspie too?" This will show her that you don't see it as a fault, because you're comparing her to yourself, and asking a question which allows her to form her own opinion on the subject. By the way, which part of your post did you consider catty? I didn't see anything wrong with it.

^ You're probably right, actually.

Smudge makes a good point: friendship should go beyond one's so-called affliction

I would say: mention something about some of your traits. See if she bites--see if she says, in essence, Hey, that's me!

Last edited by kraftiekortie on 07 Dec 2015, 7:43 am, edited 1 time in total.

It's not necessarily that simple. I had someone drop subtle hints, then obvious hints, then meet with me privately to tell me. I did not get it. Could not hear it. When other people tried, I heard them as saying they thought there was something wrong with me, which I resented.

Only after I came to suspect myself did I recognize those efforts as the kind gestures that they were.

Just because it might be helpful doesn't mean it will be well received.