Not masking your behavior or disclosing

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It seems like most people either try to hide all autistic traits and avoid telling people they're autistic or tell people they're autistic and make no effort to hide their traits. How does it go for people that make no effort to hide their traits, but they don't tell people they're autistic? Do people find out very fast?

Not necessarily.

Autism is usually still thought of as a severe disorder of children who are isolated into themselves, and can't usually speak.

People with HFA or Asperger's, and who don't hide their "symptoms," will probably come of as being eccentric/weird/nerdy.

I don't mask as much anymore but neither do I usually tell them anything specific like ADHD or spectrum. Sometimes I say things like if I think I am not looking at them long enough or too little when they are talking I'll say something along the lines of, "I'm sorry if I am not looking at you much and it's not because I am not interested. It's because I can't look at you and see what you are saying at the same time." Stuff like that is what I say.

I don't hide my traits but I don't tell people either. Where I come from most including the mental health professionals don't really know what Aspergers is. No one has ever asked me if I was on the spectrum or anything but I do tell people I'm dyslexic & have ADD along with my physical disabilities so people probably attribute my Aspie quirks & traits to those things.

Before I knew I was autistic, I made only minimal effort to hide my quirks and never told anyone I was on the spectrum because I didn't know myself.

A few people guessed it, but most just thought I was weird.

Now, I usually disclose, but in cases where I haven't, it's fairly uncommon for anyone to spot it. However, bus drivers are the most likely to figure it out, because I struggle a lot with bus routes.

Same here. I just acted how I wanted to. Most just thought I was a weirdo, though some suspected. Funnily enough the ones that suspected either knew someone or were on the AS themselves. Never even occurs to most that it could be autism.

I usually just get stared at, other aspies figure it out fast, NT's tend to assume I'm on drugs..

I only tell close-enough acquaintances & my masking is situational. I spend 40+ hours in an office with the same group of people, most of whom either don't understand atypical people, refuse to understand them, or think being imperfect is a sign of being further from the Grace of God. My AS/ASD makes me stand out because I say and do things different. But having been there a long time, they are used to me.

Some years back I discovered that I like people that are different, who stand out, and that I value people who are quirky and creative and don't act or look a certain way simply because that's what mainstream culture says they should. Sometimes they are on the spectrum, sometimes not. So now - when I can - I embrace being different, within whatever is socially acceptable (enough) for the situation. Sometimes I misjudge. And sometimes I don't have a rule in my head and blindly do things that are not socially acceptable. But by this points I've learned from enough mistakes that those happen less & I was raised in an exceedingly restrictive environment so my problem is usually not one of letting loose too much, it's getting stressed from worrying too much and overthinking.

When behaviors slip out, I'm simply not aware. Then, however, a stranger will speak to me as if I'm 3 years old/mentally challenged. Being angry at the person does no good, they are only trying to verbally connect in the only way they think I can manage. They have no ill will. People simply make the best guess they can, don't look too deeply, and try to connect. I nod, give a simple answer, let it go.

Some of us aren't very good at masking, I just try my best not to be thought of as a total freak. There is no point telling most people, I wouldn't count on anybody to understand.

I used to worry that people thought I was on drugs. Now I still wonder but don't worry. I wonder if I look like I have withdrawal symptoms. I have never been on drugs.

People sometimes wonder if I'm on drugs cuz I'm easily confused sometimes, zone out, & I have a tremor disorder that can act up if I'm anxious or doing things with fine motor-skills.

I almost always mention it to people in my first encounter with them, and if I don't, then assuming I meet them again, I'll mention it in our second encounter. Of course there's always the chance that they already know about my Autism, especially employers, since I put it down on my CV (Job Application).

What if you didn't tell people about?

If I didn't tell people about my Autism, then they would never know about it.

I'm an extremely confident person, even by Neuraltypical standards. I maneuver my way through almost all social discussions with practiced ease. Often leading conversations down well traveled paths, routes that I know better than the backs of my own hands. I have several natural advantages that work well in may favor, and poorly against most everyone else.

Last edited by Idealist on 25 Dec 2015, 10:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I "mask" reflexively now, for the most part. I even do it well enough to throw off mental health professionals, which can be frustrating or hilarious depending on the situation. Those are also just about the only people I disclose to; even my friends don't know.

For the most part, people never catch on and seem to think I'm just eccentric. Depending on who you ask, it's either charming or annoying. That's ok, but it's actually been a problem in the past couple of years where I can't seem to do anything else. Someone here told me to "be myself" when I first joined. I have no idea how to do that or what it would look like. I don't present any autistic symptoms strongly enough for people to know something's up, but enough to subtly sabotage efforts to get close to anyone.

It also contributes to an extremely guarded mentality, where I'm uncomfortable talking about myself except as it relates to what's actually happening at the moment (e.g., I will talk about beer preferences if I'm drinking with someone).

So, kind of a mixed bag. Better than where I was before (which was miserable), but still pretty rough. Also, obviously not an option for everyone. Some autism is more severe and may not allow for this sort of scenario.

Life as usual, no one has ever called me autistic/asperger. Most people don't even have a clue to the true details of the conditions. I only ever straight told someone once, and they were talking about ass burgers from South Park. We became good friends after that.

Well, that's kind of awesome