Just diagnosed

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So, I just received my feedback on my assessment with the NHS. They said it was quite straightforward and that I checked every box; the report should be with me soon - hope that's true!

Nerve-wracking process, very heavy going, but the two clinicians did make it as comfortable as possible, so I'm guessing I was lucky. Took bloody forever though - asked for a referral almost exactly a year ago.

Unsure how to feel about it. Part rage at people who did me wrong or didn't see it when it should have been obvious, part relief at being able to forgive myself a bit more for certain failings in life, and knowing that I can seek accommodations for myself going forward within reason. I guess it will take a while to process properly.

Happy to answer any questions in case people seeking an assessment might find it helpful.

Welcome to the planet RTC

I think you will find WP a reasonably pleasant place to visit. Welcome!

Welcome to Wrong planet ReadingtheCurl.... Hope dealing with your new Diagnosis , does not interfere with any life plans , you have for your future and good deal the new understanding .

Another welcome to Wrong Planet.


It will take time to sort things out. All I can advise is let your autistic brain do what it needs to do.

Thank you - but I've already been here for a year (previously wondering/half-self-diagnosed), although generally more of a silent observer! Feels quite different having a diagnosis though. Hasn't 100% helped with the imposter syndrome though

What accommodations do you intend to get? And how does having you define a fine line between being forgiving to yourself and resignation to inability to do better socially? What about people - particularly your family as well as those you want to be close with - feeling uncomfortable with certain ways you act? Will your newly acquired diagnosis prevent you from trying to accommodate them (rather than merely expecting the society to accommodate you)?

What accommodations do you intend to get?

Nothing new just yet. Since the lockdown I've been working 100% remotely anyway, and I can block out sounds with my headphones, so in terms of work it's already quite accommodating. I'll have to look into new ways I can be better towards myself.


And how does having you define a fine line between being forgiving to yourself and resignation to inability to do better socially?

That's a tough one. I didn't really have any proper friendships for my entire adult life - but I have actually been getting better just this last year (by going for interest groups). Always blamed myself a lot for that, and have often been accused of coming across as arrogant (even with my recent friends). Interestingly that actually showed up in my report, saying that I may seem aloof but that I'm not! If I do lose those friends I can try and be kinder to myself.

What about people - particularly your family as well as those you want to be close with - feeling uncomfortable with certain ways you act?

My wife - who is also likely neurodivergent - is the one person I can be completely relaxed around and she understands everything, so I'm very lucky with that. As for the rest of my family - mother, father, siblings - I don't know that I'll ever tell them. Been distant for a while now and often found a lot of things difficult, in hindsight I'd call some of it bullying. I'll just keep my distance, I suppose. When I do have to be around them I've suppressed any forms of stimming, I guess I'll keep it up? Just reduce the number of times I visit.

Will your newly acquired diagnosis prevent you from trying to accommodate them (rather than merely expecting the society to accommodate you)?

Really don't know yet it's so fresh and weird at this point, I'm really not sure

Hi RTC. I was diagnosed in Jan this year so can relate a little to what you have said. For me having an 'assessment' was the most frightening bit. The unknown. My anger has actually subsided relatively quickly as I can't change it and I am strangely ok in myself with that. Everyone is different. Have they said how long it will take for the report to come through? Soon is 'how long is a piece of string'. Wish you all the best. Guess we just see how it goes?!

Thanks, Joey (love your cat)

They were actually astonishingly quick, sent it the day after the feedback call, wouldn't have expected that.

Yeah everyone is different... hope I'll be able to make peace soon, too.

Thanks she's a rescue, every day is different That's unbelievable, so pleased for you that you didn't have to wait any longer than necessary. Here's to finding peace in ourselves.

Welcome to WPea