Gnawing the self

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When I read that after Sauron's defeat, he would forever gnaw himself in the shadows, I was reminded of a "stim," so to speak. I stim by gnawing myself emotionally.

When I am facing a great level of uncertainty or consider myself a victim of some injustice, or where otherwise there is a fear I would lose my livelihood, there is one thing I can do to comfort myself and take my mind off of it: Think to myself absolutely degrading things and feel for the emotional impact of those things. I like the familiar sense of being absolutely worthless; there is something comforting about doing this. Of course, this ends up leading to periods of depression, and I can become quite nasty, especially if I take those degrading things and send them back out to other people who share my woes.

Does anyone else "stim" like this?

Has no one else stimmed like this?

I don't stim like this, but I do understand wanting the familar negative feelings. I've been feeling rather numb and, I dare say, even bored. I used to almost never be bored, too many things to think about and learn, but then I got a job and I haven't been able to do my usual projects. So now I feel numb and I wish I could feel like I used to, somewhat depressed but more creative, and mentally active. I think it would sound horrible to most people, but I'm tired of feeling nothing much at all.

Also, I just have to say, I like the reference to Sauron, I love all things Tolkien Actually sometimes I stim by actually gnawing on myself, but not that hard... and usually only if I'm frustrated.

Yeah, also wouldn't gnawing at yourself also be rumination? I'm very empathetic and if I realise I hurt someone I end up feeling horrible for days.