perhaps i judged this place too harshly

Post Reply New Topic

ive been gone for like...a week? and i gotta say i miss being part of the WP community...

I was wrong to judge this place, really, the good out way the bad.

I apologize if i offended anyone on this site, really its not my place to call anyone out on their diagnoses however i still stand by my earlier statement; i feel a lot of people here still seem to have an easier time with their disability than i, but maybe that's me being jealous, ill admit to that... like "how is it fair that someone with the same diagnoses be able to handle the things that bring me to the brink of death??"

anyways i hope this site accepts me back.

Hullo welcome back.
Just add that I suspect that some people don't have it as easy as they post. I think many autistic adults have been conditioned not to complain about their difficulties, don't mention it, just get over yourself, etc even if they re falling apart. Thus they may be having a hard time too, just not saying so.

Welcome back ZombieBride, good to see you again

The truth is that everyone is unique. What's an ordinary achievement for one autistic person might be extremely difficult for someone else.

For example, I'm not able to live independently and have never had a paying job. But on the other hand, my social difficulties are relatively mild, and while I was bullied as a child, I had at least one friend for roughly half of my school experience. I was even semi-popular at one point. I've seen others on this forum who are living independently and working, but have never had the kind of social success I can sometimes achieve.

There are other disabilities that are the same way, too. I was once at a birthday party with three young women who all had cerebral palsy. One could walk short distances and used a scooter and had mostly normal hand control except for the occasional spasm, one used a wheelchair and could do most things she needed to with her hands but did them much more slowly, and the third used a wheelchair and had her hands stuck in fists constantly and couldn't do anything with them. Same disability, different severity.

Try not to feel too jealous about it. You're you, they're them. They don't have the same challenges as you. It's not reasonable to expect you to accomplish the same things some other autistic person can, just as it's not reasonable to expect the third girl to use her hands as well as the first did.

Of course you're welcomed back, Zombie Bride! I've missed you.

{{{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}}}

Yes, I would have to agree--you did judge WrongPlanet too harshly. But everybody makes mistakes...and everybody must be given a chance to learn from their mistakes.

You are a good, decent person.

I do hope you are able to go back to school, or to get an equivalency diploma. I really sense that you are capable of doing this.

i really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really REALLY don't want to go back to school... its pointless to go.

I know its hard sometimes, but I think it is a much more helpful thing to not compare yourself to others if you can avoid it. I am my least happy with myself when I compare my self to other people that are doing much better than me (ignoring the fact that they have had much better life circumstances/opportunities than me in some cases) or to NTs (that's always a s**t show to be frank.)
Everyone's life is a bit different and I take comfort in remembering that.. comparing myself won't make my life any better than it was before the comparison, but instead that I've just made myself feel worse and thus much less likely that I will do anything productive with my time and I will just hate myself more..
I do try and take solace in that fact.
Special interests also help take the edge off such thoughts- for me anyway.

This. I grew up in the 1980's when if you didn't have major difficulties that couldn't be punished away, you didn't get diagnosed. The whole "get over yourself" sounds familiar. But we all have our difficulties and I was not offended personally, just disagreed with you on some points. I would certainly not hold anything against you.

"Water under the bridge," would be my take on it.

Haha me either. I feel lazy staying at home. But I have been so much more relaxed and getting more sleep. Easier to put the home course on hold if I have to than dealing with a shutdown in a live classroom. But I think school is important even though it seems pointless to me as well. Maybe I will someday be able to support myself with some stay at home job. I doubt it, but maybe.

I wasn't saying that you necessarily have to go back to a physical school. Maybe you could do online school or do something like Ezra is doing. The goal is to get you qualifications.

You were probably spot on but I'm glad to see you too.

I grapple with sporadic shutdowns in offices. Places without ambiance really freak me out in general actually.

Well, I am glad that you're back.. But what do you mean.. easier time?

Maybe because it's a spectrum, it impacts everyone differently and varies from individual to individual. It's awfully silly to look at someone's capabilities and immediately assume they have it easier.

Going by that logic - There people more severe than I am.. They require assistance with simple tasks. I do not most of the time. Yet they have friends and socialise with ease, and are well liked by everyone. Are those folks having an easier time than I am?

Hell.. Even this kind of thinking could be extended to you. You may have some talents or abilities that may lead people to believe that you are "having an easier time" - but are you really? Or you do you have your own set of unique struggles? This reminds me of a really extreme example... You know those "real autistic" advocates who say that anyone who is capable of TYPING, using the computer, talking or reading is not a real autistic person. This whole thing could be aplied to everyone on this site. One huge mistake one could ever make is to compare themselves to other people.

When it comes to what sometimes seems an easier time, in my case at least I see autism robbing me of a future. That 20 years from now everything will be the same for me. No career, no home of my own, no getting in my car to go somewhere, no spouse, no kids, no future.

And then someone posts something that sounds like.... "After getting off work from my dream job, I picked up my beautiful kids in my awesome car and drove to my dream home where my loving supportive spouse of 20 years....".

Now I know that is a huge over exaggeration. But sometimes it feels that way. Call it teenage angst on a whole other level.

Oh wait, isn't this what someone called me having a pity party?

I now understand why you guys said those things in those threads. And I don't blame you guys for your frustrations.

I have had the same issue for a long while. I was actually really depressed for a while because I felt that my life was over because of my autism. I can't do anything in my own - well, I can't do anything properly. I constantly wonder how am I going to survive in this world if I can't do anything... I am constantly worrying about the future, I feel robbed of the opportunity to lead a normal life. :/

Thank you! I really did not think it was that hard to understand. Must be some weird generation thing were some just do not get it at all.