The Autistic Generation Gap

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This is a topic I have been reluctant to address as other have done but there comes a time when one has to stop burying ones head in the sand. I have been reluctant to address this topic because I am not sure my perception of the situation is right and out of fear of making a bad situation worse. I hope here to have both both sides of the despute see another side of things. This thread was also about a comment Ezra made but is not about him. Ezra said that most of his classmates are of the general opinion that there are a significant number of Autistic wannabees, that Autism is often over diagnosed. Based on reading posts here since 2013 I highly suspect that opinion is quite popular with the younger generations of autistics. There are no studies
I know of about over diagnosis or autistic opinion on these matters, so it is all opinion.

There are two main possibilities, that this idea is mostly perception which is my opinion or I am just yet another old person out of of touch and this is reality for the young generations. As the late David Bowie sang "And these children that you spit on As they try to change their worlds are immune to your consultations They're quite aware of what they are going through"

With billions of people in this world I have no doubt there are aspie wannabees, supremacists, people wrongly diagnosed with Autism. You just need to look at the occasional Aspergers is the next stage of evolution posts that pop up on WP.

Teenagers and young adults often try to figure out who they are, where do they fit. That is what they do. In my day and to a lesser extent today it was bands or a music genre, it could be comics or whatever. When you are an outlier it is appealing to think you have found something that the dumb masses just can not understand. So yes it is possible Aspergers/Autism has become a trendy thing wannabes aspire to. I remain quite skeptical, I just can't fathom how a word equated with ret*d and a condition still by all accounts makes one a probable target for bullying would be something people would want to aspire to be, but like I say maybe I am just out of touch.

Sometimes outliers get into the same thing and it becomes a hip fad. Usually with hip fads what happens the media writes about it, some people poke fun at it, the trendies grow up the next fad begins and the endless cycle goes on. But sometimes as with the case of the emo's a decade ago what started out perceived as a trendy fad can get nasty, emo's or people who were thought to be emos's were often beaten up because it was though they were whiners. While Autistics are not beating up those they suspect of being wannabes or suspected of being wrongly diagnosed with autism the allegations are causing damage. I will try and explain some reasons that have not been fully explored. If you had average to above average intellengence but were were not functioning, especially functioning socially as expected you did not get an autism label but you certainly got labeled. Some of these labels were excuse maker, hypochondriac, attention seeker. Your special interests were sometimes derided as a silly fad only people with no life care about. Pretty much what the older members are hearing about the explanition they found after decades.

So where does that leave us?. I can not see the situation changing until Autism is better understood and maybe this generation matures and the next generation of Autistics comes along that thinks differently. Until then it is damage control, a frustrating but worthy endeavor.

Last edited by ASPartOfMe on 11 Feb 2016, 6:09 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I don't understand my generation. Where are all these supposed wannabees? Has anyone actually met one IRL? Am I living under a rock or are they all on tumblr?

I have never encountered an autistic wannabe in real life too. Where I live having autism is considered an embarrassment, no one would ever compromise their reputation by claiming it just to be unique. It's used as a pejorative, the very existence of autism is considered an insult amongst my peers.

Those claiming autism just to sound quirky are mostly on tumblr or the internet. I think it's more of confirmation bias and perception kind of thing, when you're on the internet certain issues look a lot bigger than they truly are. I remember posting a similar thread a while back asking why autism had suddenly become trendy to claim.. However, I quickly came to the realisation that this issue is not as widespread as I intially thought.

I've never encountered a so-called wannabe autistic. I think that is an exceptionally rare group. Even within that group, there are probably people suffering with a pain they don't understand. Since the media talks about autism enough that the average person will know it exists, people will naturally begin identifying with it or attacking it.

I get the sense that young people think it's "cool" to dismiss people who claim/seem to be different. It might be a way to "rebel" against what is perceived as popular political correctness.

Is it that different with older adults? If you disclose your status to an older person, they might not call you a special snowflake, but they might call you lazy or dangerous. Isn't it just "human nature" to convert ignorance into cruelty?

This issue is definitely worth talking about.

As a result of recent discussion here, I'm currently choosing to think of myself as just a 'quirky space cadet'. Regardless of my diagnosis, and regardless of what anyone here on WP thinks, this is what the world wants to think.

I failed at dozens of jobs, because I'm a quirky space cadet. But luckily, I failed at marriage too, and now receive spousal support, so I can blissfully go on living my happy quirky space cadet life. It's all good.

I'm not even being sarcastic. I'm so tired of this debate, I prefer to just be a quirky space cadet who fails at everything for completely laughable reasons, and not argue over it for the rest of my entire life.

I think there are people who claim the title for a time that aren't really autistic, but I don't think it's due to it being the "in" thing to do. Rather, I think it's because diagnosis is such a difficult thing. Along the way, there's some misdiagnosis. And for people who have always just thought they were crazy, when they first find something that explains why they're different - say, Aspergers - they might broadcast it online (though probably not in real life conversations!) because they're thrilled to finally feel like there's an explanation for them and they're not just insane. Later they may realize they're not really autistic, but the fact that they broadcasted their AS state doesn't mean they thought it was cool, but may just mean that they were relieved to finally have an explanation.

To illustrate what I'm saying about misdiagnosis while trying to figure out what's going on... some physical ailments - like a broken leg - are easy to diagnose, but others can take a long time to figure out. My sister had a very rare condition (caused by a tiny tumor in her brain) that caused symptoms that closely replicated other issues - diabetes, osteoporosis, and others. She was diagnosed by her doctor with these and other disorders along the way before the treatments for each of them failed to resolve her issues and he eventually eliminated one thing after another and found out she had a 1-in-10-million disorder. If she had told someone at some point that she was a 19-year-old with osteoporosis, it wouldn't have been because she thought it was cool, but simply because it was the best explanation she had at the time and she was glad to finally have some explanation. She'd known for awhile that her bones would hurt and feel as if they'd break when she picked up something that was at all heavy, but it made no sense why a 19-year-old needing help picking up a bag of groceries like a 90-year-old would! However, when her one density scans showed she had very advanced osteoporosis, it gave her an explanation.

In a similar way, mental disorders or differences or disabilities (depending on severity and your viewpoint) can take awhile to diagnose. Formal diagnose as an adult can be nearly impossible to get. So, along the way, you might come across some disorders that you think might explain what's going on. You've always known that people said you were weird/different, but you never understood why. Then you read about autism and how the autistic mind works differently and go "Oh! My mind is just different, that's why! I don't feel like I belong in the zoo anymore!" Do you go tell all your friends? No...but you might go tell 50 random forums. When my partner concluded he was on the spectrum, it was a very enlightening and relieving thing in many ways, because it explained a lot of things that just hadn't made sense. He wasn't one of these to then go online and make it look like a fashion badge, and I do believe he's truly autistic (high-functioning, but autistic nonetheless). However, from seeing the positive effects that an explanation had on him (and me!), I can see why someone might share it...and also how their sharing could look like bragging.

So, from my little corner of the world, I've never seen someone brag about it as the new fashionable label. But I have seen people be so happy to have an explanation that they might seem like they think it's the latest trend. My corner of the world is pretty small, though, so this by no means is conclusive about the bigger world outside of mine.

One of my self-deprecating jokes I pull out sometimes is:
"People say I'm a Space Cadet. I am not a Space Cadet. I am a Space Major and I TEACH Space Cadets." Usually get's pulled on my students. Most of them do not get it at all.

But, in all seriousness, I do not know if I have met someone with Asperger's other than my Grandson. I assume, by what I learned and continuing to learn, My Father, brother are too. They are slightly more in that door than I am. We each seem to have all the traits, but with different strengths. My Grandson the most affected.

But, other than that, I cannot say that I have ever known if I met an Aspie in my life. Nobody mentions it.

But my lack of faith in human nature leads me to believe that there are and always have been fakers for a lot of reasons. It will not make sense. And it probably is not all that common. But the explosion is also probably due to the greater refinement and understanding of it rather than people jumping on the bandwagon.

People past a certain age (and really not all that far back) were just the problem kids. Nobody knew what to do with them. ADHD, OCD, all of those things existed before definition. Each one was an explosion as each thing was identified or understood better. Then, the numbers level off as the numbers reach a natural equilibrium of it's true nature.

And those of us who were forced to assimilate or perish, well, speaking for myself, it feels hollow because you fake every interaction you have with people. And you bang your head on the wall for so long and never get passed a certain point, or you burn bridges or whatever.

So, I am grateful that I finally may have an answer no matter who thinks what.

The arguments recently were not even about the self diagnosed (for a change). They were about the diagnosed being "over diagnosed" which is even more of an insult if anything.

Put simply the situation is this:

- The younger ones were born into a time when better professional knowledge of the spectrum began.

- They were also born into a time when parents, teachers, family doctors, all monitored child development more closely than in previous eras.

- Previous generations were born into a time when even the pertinent professionals were ignorant of the spectrum.

- A time when only severely affected children were recognized as autistic.

- Also a time when parenting, teacher's observations, even doctors, could often be casual, negligent. Children were not precious jewels back in my day.

- Any unusual or problematic behavior wasn't pored over, worried about, sent for evaluation or lovingly addressed -- instead you got punished, rejected and outcast. Certainly not understood or helped.

- Generations of people in their middle age are now discovering there's something that fits. Some obtain a diagnosis and are proved correct -- this was my case. I am not self diagnosed, I sought an evaluation in 2014 after MUCH denial. I was NOT happy to suspect I may be on the autism spectrum. It took me ten years of dread to finally book an appointment. Dread because IT IS A STIGMA. And I grew up very much in the era when it was a stigma. Not a cool thing.

I REALLY don't think a bunch of 50 year olds are suddenly thinking this is the Kool Kidz Klub.

-- The younger kids see all these 50 year olds and decide -- based on NO rational and actual evidence -- that they are just a bunch of over-diagnosed fakers who think they've joined the Kool Kidz Klub.

Because -- "Why weren't you diagnosed as children?"

And even when it is patiently explained to them -- and it has been many times -- there is a stubborn resistance.

Anger can then ensue because don't we have enough to put up with in our worlds without crap like this coming from other people on the spectrum too?

It's real simple.

To add:

Maybe there needs to be a sticky thread, written by someone who can put together a concise history of this, which explains what happened to these older generations, why they were not diagnosed sooner, why they seem to bursting out of the woodwork now, etc.

It would be informational and a brief history lesson.

There must be something on the web where someone has addressed the late-diagnosis situation and it might be asked permission to be reproduced in a sticky here.

Younger people asking the question could be referred to the sticky information.

Hahahahaha...I was the work horse. Dad worked to put food on the table and stuff. Mom did the June Cleaver thing and worked her ass off. So, I got to do the other fun things like cut grass, edge the walks, wash cars, etc, etc.

And during the summers with my mother in Florida was even worse with the mushy ground. And I was not a big kid either. Pushing or pulling those mowers was real hard there.

I hope they at least gave you a wee bit of pocket money for those chores?

I was the kid who, as long as I was being quiet and not actually experiencing a meltdown or hiding under the furniture because someone knocked at our door, they didn't care where I was or what I was doing.

I could have been playing with matches at the bottom of the garden -- nobody cared as long as I was out of their way.

Seriously, my parents didn't care. My therapist once said they were "tired of parenting" and I didn't get proper bonding. I wasn't valuable to anyone. Much less ushered lovingly into a clinician's office to find out what was wrong with me. These kids now don't know how good they have it just to be so loved.

But I can't even talk about that stuff as a comparison example without then being accused by one o' them as playing for pity. It's not a pity mission it's just facts.

The only reason why I got an autism diagnosis is because I wasn't able to talk until age 5 1/2.

If I spoke at the "normal" age, I would have been seen as being "emotionally disturbed," or "brain-damaged."

For first grade, I was placed in a class which had kids with many disorders. I was fortunate that I had a good teacher. I hated her at the time, because she was so authoritarian. She forced me to fold my hands at my desk when I wasn't doing something. She might have even hit me on my hands with a ruler (I'm not sure).

However, she did allowed me to read about Greek Mythology, and she taught me how to subtract using borrowing.

I am fortunate that I was placed in a private school for kids with various disorders starting in second grade. There, I got more individual attention. It was a good school academically for kids who were on an academic track.

However, if I showed myself to be "too smart," I was slapped down (metaphorically).

The teacher was the boss, very much like a drill sergeant You weren't able to talk to the teacher on any sort of equal basis like kids are able to today. Nowadays, kids have "conferences" with the teachers. Not so in my day. You just had to sit at your desk, hands folded, and listen to the teacher lecture. You had to raise your hand to answer a question.

Yep...was part of it. Work, get paid. Nothing is free. Allowance was earned in those days.

I don't think that someone who is diagnosed autistic and higher functioning than me is not autistic.
That's not my kind of thinking, because I don't think that autism means you can't do X, Y, Z.
It is more like you have certain traits and certain impairments, but you may still find ways to do X, Y, Z.
They may not be the ways that others do X, Y, Z, but just doing X, Y, Z doesn't mean not autistic to me.

Many people with autism have the ability to adapt--to find their own methodology in making sense of the world, since they have difficulty using the methodology of the "greater world."

This is a more "verbal" rendition of what btbnnyr wrote.

Many severely autistic were misdiagnosed as schizophrenic or deaf and other things.

A popular phrase was "kids are meant to be seen not heard"

Although it was starting to change with the anti Vietnam protesters for the most part experts and authority were not questioned. Doctors were not sued nor questioned, If the teachers said you behaved badly the parents believed them and you were spanked or worse.

Going off topic a bit American experts and your dads had won WWII and made the country the richest in world why question them? The 1960's are portrayed today as a time of massive questioning of authority. That is not is how it was. The large protests, Woodstock those things did happen, but were for most part were limited to college campuses, big cities on the east and west coasts. In my suburban New York neighborhood "America Love it or Leave It" decals predominated not ones with peace signs. Polls showed Americans by large margins supported the national guardsmen who killed 4 students and injured 13 at Kent State University with many regretting that more were not killed in order to teach those ungreatful spoiled hippie brats a lessen.

Last edited by ASPartOfMe on 11 Feb 2016, 8:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

You know, the first peson to really piss me off about this was the first doctor that 'interviewed' me. Said it appeared I could "be on the spectrum, but what difference did it make? You've obviously learned how to compensate."

Ummm...no. Not really. Sorta compensate in bad, half assed measures.