the right to screw over

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hey, I just wanna tell a story that happened today, which happens often and I'm sure many people here can relate. Many Aspergians, especially Aspergian males, are screwed out of life by the time we enter middle school, by being bullied, singled out, and segregated. And, so are some NTs. However, with this post I'd rather focus on aspergians, since 1. our differences come into play here, and 2. We are an entire culture getting screwed.
Some of the people screwing us might even be nice to us, and then get frustrated if we even mutter the word autism, and mind you I don't go around talking about it all the time, but I'm not ashamed to admit it either. But this is the thing, in middleschool all the way up through life, they screw us by gang assaulting our confidence, in a sub-conscious effort to halt us from succeeding in life. But many of them do consciously know in the backs of their minds that they are screwing the loners, it's something that they actually try to either ignore or justify. I've heard countless NTs say that they'd cringe at the thought of being put in our shoes. They'll claim to accept our differences, but they won't make a 5 cent effort to really learn what it means, and they blindly expect us to behave like them even though we've told them we're not like them, and then they belittle us on quirks, such as not reading their minds..... To me this is basically like them saying they have a right to screw us over. And then god forbid we happen to ever mention anything about our plight, because they CHOOSE to remain ignorant to the fact that silent bigotry is still bigotry, silent segregation is still segregation.
Throughout the coarse of civil rights, this is not a new phenomenon. The oppressors have ALWAYS felt like it was their "god-given right" to put others down for being different.

I know there are good NTs out there, but it seems as if the good ones are non-curebies who are related to someone Aspergian or autistic. Right now I shed a tear to think of all my Aspergian brothers and sisters who are being TAUGHT that their "disabled", "dependant", and "lesser" than NTs. I keep hearing Aspergians tell themselves "I can't" or "we can't" rather than "I can" or "we can", when it comes to matters of dealing with living independant lives. Your ARE capable, and you ARE important, reguardless of what they've made you feel like. Yes, love and intimacy are human needs, people do need to feel connected with the species. But we're not completely dependant upon NTs (unless your a low functioning autie).

The abuse never really stops after highschool, I know this. They just adopt more under-the-radar systems of singling us out, and sometimes people still get bullied in colledge.
I'm calling out to my people to gain strength, regain our vision, and to not accept defeat. Together we CAN overcome this.
After seeing all this Va. Tech stuff and then seeing geraldo, I must admit I have spent quite a few nights crying myself to sleep, dreaming of a world where we are equals and are appreciated. Lets not let this be "just a dream".

You know, snake, people can make you feel bad about yourself only if you let them. How you feel about yourself is controlled by you and you alone.

Bullying: I was probably excluded in middle school, but I probably didn't notice much because I was too busy doing other things to care. I created a little world in my parent's gargage. I painted it in psychedelic colors, plastered it with posters, used it as a laboratory cooking up experiments and making model rockets. I created such an interesting environment that I was a de facto interesting person and people sought me out. Mostly boys at first and then some girls showed up to watch the boys. I never once spoke to anyone about having any sort of problem and wanting any accomodations. Mostly, I wanted them to go home earlier!

In high school, I had a lot more trouble with the social-based relationships so I became interested in music and found friends through that interest. It was a bonus to grow up in a time when letting your freak flag fly was the thing to do. Again, I never saw myself as a disabled person nor sought any sympathy for my differences. Nobody does that. That's why we have therapists.

If my parents had tried to mold me into a conventional person, my viewpoint may have turned out differently. My premise is that the damage to one's self-esteem is basically done by the parents. The bullies are just picking your scabs.

I was incensed about Geraldo's story because it was sensationalistic and tried to make a connection between AS and mass murder. I certainly do not identify with Cho. His life sounded pathetically vacant and boring. We have minds and we can use them. We do not have to be a walking mass of weeping sores. You have a choice.

Um..... I dunno maybe it was because you were female, therefore you automatically hold SOME status, but the guys get it alot worse most often (except the overly masculine women). Incel also plays a large part in it because people discriminate against incel, which is basically like discriminating against someone because theyr too skinny when they never had food to eat. It's a double blow.
Not all of the discrimination is in line with incel, but incel is a major motivator for discrimination against many of us. But women are often excepted MORE just because theyr women, just because women are in demand in our society. I'm not whining I'm pointing out a fact.
Also, women do have problems too with AS, but different issues. I'd say speaking non-biasedly, women's problems with it are far less severe than their male AS counterparts, because female AS (as our struggles are concerned) is like AS lite. I don't mean this to be offensive but it's the truth. Your already more integrated into the NT society than many men on here will ever be, because men aren't "in demand". But, your still Aspergian, and I will not discount your credibility any less for it. I'm not kicking you out of being Aspergian just because your female, that would be incredibly stupid on my part to do so.
Also the fact that literally NOTHING we ever say around NTs is taken seriously (this goes for male or female Aspergians), just because we're "loners" or "weirdos". We're constantly ignored, under-appreciated, segregated, and yes this DOES happen. Maybe not as much for you because your likely atleast a semi-attractive female, therefore you are treated as a woman first, a "weirdo" second. But I assure you it's the other way around for males though.
Often times my NT friends in the past have singled me out, left me out of their activities, and one time I heard them telling others that the only reason they took me to the party was because I bought the keg! (note I'm not usually the party type, but that's not the point, it's the principal).... How many times I was dropped off, ditched, so my NT "friends" could go skinny dipping, like with that arrogant b***h Ashley and her friends. Now, that's just the social stuff. Don't even get me started on classrooms, we do not learn the same way NTs do.

You honestly do not know what it feels like to have the idea that your worthless, useless, or at best, 2nd-rate as a human being, being pounded into your head from the moment you enter school. Not the way we do.

Last edited by snake321 on 23 Apr 2007, 2:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.

1 person would never have made me feel bad, when the entire aparatus of society acts this way, be it blatantly or silently (either way it's still bigotry, even if theyr nice but segregate me under the radar), when even the news and "respectable adults" act this way, when EVERYONE acts this way, it's kinda hard to keep your head up.
I have managed, I am NOT ashamed, I've been through those fires. I am here to lift my people up to where I am, I posted here to make a positive statement, to give support to my ailing brothers and sisters on this board, and hopefully raise our confidence.
Right now is autism awareness month, and it's already been screwed up by Va. Tech and all this crap, instead of seeing my peeps in a state of dispaire, I would rather see us thrive, become strong and make the remainder of this month something to remember, for a positive reason.

Actually I've met a number of nice NT's and they are not related to any autistics. There's good and bad people in the world. I've met several Aspies that are royal a$$es by the way. Don't blame EVERYTHING on NT's. Even some NT's get bullied. The one's that tell Aspies that they are worthless are the Aspies themselves. I'm so sick of this sissy crybaby attitude that so many of the young Aspies on here have. All this awareness does is make for more crybabies.

Lots of people are abused, actually the majority of people in the US are abused by the time they hit 21. Lots of people have obstacles thrown in their way. Autism is NOT the ONLY disability. There are things far worse. If your life is screwed up its because you did it to yourself. Quit blaming everything on other people and start accepting responsibility for your own actions.

Ok, I was gonna be nice about this, I'm not sexist, but your female so you don't know, so you need to shut up.

Yes, I know some NTs deal with it, theyr generally good people too. I'm not saying all NTs are bad. Yes, there are other disabilities, but AS is NOT a disability, it is a DIFFERENCE.
How would people react if lets say, jews, or mexicans, or blacks were forced to live like us? I'd bet you there would be one f*****g hell of a backlash.

Goddamnit, I try to f*****g start a positive post to help inspire people and then you stupid over b*****s turn it into a flame war. I'm glad YOUR life of INTEGRATION AND FULFILLMENT AND ACCEPTANCE in life is so f*****g great for you. I've seen NTs more optimistic about autism month and autism pride than you are! And no, thats not an attack on NTs, I know several great NTs.

Get over yourself Snake. Men don't have it any worse than women. They just have it different. If you knew half the things that had been done to me because I'm a woman you would be damn proud to have been born a man.

Here's a wild concept- Why don't you Snake be a man and not a pityparty and then maybe women and other men will respect you. I can't respect you cause you are boohooing that you were born male. Good Lord the world is made for men. Take advantage of that. You can be a absolute moron and loser and still get a better paying job than a woman.

You'll have to continue your pityparty without me. I'm going to work.

Gee, lets put YOU in an environment where NOBODY takes ANYTHING you say seriously, EVERYONE treats you like a child, *****YOUR****** forced into living a completely platonic lifestyle from the age of born to death, treated like a freak, left out of EVERYTHING, I wanna see YOU deal with it you f*****g b*****s. Go on, live with your AS lite, but don't keep bitching at me because your too f*****g apathetic to give a s**t about anything outside of your own f*****g bubble.
It is b*****s like you who are traitors. Go hang out with your rich and popular NT friends. You might as well be one of them (ignorant NTs, not all NTs). You sit here and say s**t to butter up NT prejudice. Your a f*****g traitor.

i am an asperger female. i agree with seriousgirl that the bullies pick scabs. if you are an aspie with reasonably loving and accepting parents you totally are at an advantage. if you have had a hard time from your family because of your undiagnosed condition you are likely to grow up with very low self esteem and boy does that show up like a beacon to the kids in school.

You call it whining, I called it a positive post to try and lift people up. Just because YOUR sitting pretty and living a complete life doesn't mean everyone is.

The truth is, snake, that women aspies are very much excluded by other women. We are snubbed and gossiped about regularly.

Men take me seriously. I don't feel discriminated against.

I'm sure men aspies have their issues. But there are both men and women aspies here that feel destroyed. I refuse to give anyone that much power over me. I don't depend on anyone for my happiness and self esteem.

What is the difference between feeling crushed and feeling like you could care less? Just your point of view.

You don't have any power over anyone. You only have power over your thoughts and behavior. That's just a fact.

Well, I had never heard of incel before:

http://uk.geocities.com/incelsite@btint ... incel.html

Involuntary celibacy. If you are unhappy about it, what can you do about it? What steps can you take to change that?

Not a damn thing, I'm male and AS, as a male, I have to take the initiative, I have to make the steps. I don't even know what the steps are, or when to take them.

I don't understand what you mean by this.
A low qualified woman can make massively more money than a similar. In fact more than a very well paid man.

As for whining and pitying; i think you missed the point of Snake's post.

Speaking more generally...
In my opinion, the whiner's and boohoohers post about 'curing' AS and such-like: they generally get sympathetic responses around here. Whereas, many posters who point out certain injustices are told to 'stop crying and get their act together' ( and some of the time by people who clearly have no idea of the situation.)
I find this ironic and start to wonder where the forum for people with AS is.