Not being obsessive is BORING.

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One time a few years ago I was put on ADHD medication to help with my inattention. It worked, but when I came home from school I basically just sat there being bored and getting depressed. I took a few notes while I was on the stuff (because I had nothing better to do) and noted that if someone came up to me right then and offered to take me to space I would accept because I logically know that I would love it but at the time I wouldn't be enthusiastic at all, and space travel is my special interest. My mind drifted from topic to topic and didn't stop to focus on any one, everything just seemed so uninteresting.

For a while I timed when I took it so it would wear off about as I was getting home from school, and eventually I stopped. Life was just too boring when I wasn't obsessing over something, how do neurotipicals get by without it? I suppose that's the role that socializing plays for them.

You know, that's one of the things I fear about being put on meds.

While I have been on Prozac before (and is the new script, again) I will be on the watch out. I really don't know how I will do with this, armed with all this new knowledge and things to keep an eye on.

But, I am facing an uphill battle because the one med I know that works, allows me to function and does not stop the 'good traits' is still viewed as Witch Doctoring in NY and is only available if you have things as severe as ALS, AIDS and that sort of thing.

Putzes.......And, part of the problem is that old 'You only wanna get high" thing. No, give me the med that does the same thing without the high and I'm cool. As for the high, well, I burn through that real fast and can focus. It just leaves the ameliorating 'socializing' effect after I burn it off. I start to concentrate and it just goes *poof*.

The brain is always working on 3 things. It just stops it from bouncing from each of those three things. When the LPN heard this she said it sounded like ADHD.

I don't agree. But, she said that maybe I would benefit from ADHD meds. Now, My understanding is that those meds are a form of speed of some sort. I can't do that. It will do bad, bad things to me. That's why I never liked it. Tried it in my late teens one time. Never, ever again will I do anything that hypes me up.

The coke addiction came about because the body was trying to self medicate out of depression. But, that is not evident now. Stressed beyond belief, but proactive, not avoiding things other than leaving the house and that is mostly overloads.

But, yeah, I am worried about the loss of the 'positive traits'.

I'd rather be obsessive than board.

Last edited by CockneyRebel on 02 May 2016, 12:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I don't care if I'm boring. I don't want to be bored and listless.

I have a cupboard full of meds I've refused to take for this reason. Some of the dates on the packets go back years. I have always tried to push for an explanation behind the curtain of symptoms when clinicians become socially acceptable drug dealers in an attempt to brush an Aspie aside. Thankfully now, there is impartial support that goes with me, & the med prescribers know I will have researched them before they researched me. My support worker tells me often that I'm so much braver than I was. The first time I was pulled in, I cried for half an hour without breathing. It was uncontrollable. Now I write down things & question them more than they question me.

I've been on most of the medications out there and none of them ever made me less obsessive, though when I am depressed I do have a noticeable lack of motivation and interest on any given topic. Depressed enough and I just turn into a bowl of Jello.

That's the problem with these meds. They take weeks to have an effect. And what is good for one is disastrous for others. However, the med I know that works is immediate and controllable. Leads to no other issues.

They can be purveyors of drugs, but they are also shackled by an old system refusing to accept current, or even old research. And, some of that research was commissioned to prove negative effects. But, it doesn't fit the current political narrative.