Aspie reality check about scheduling

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OK...I need to know if this is part of it or just some weird quirk of mine.

I got called into the VA for an appointment last week. I thought it would be an in and out (about an hour). I was wrong. Turns out they were sending me to docs and all sorts of things after we were done. And, you know how waiting at a clinic can be.

So, the reality check is this. I had planned on a certain amount of time (allowing for mass transit) and then back home to do x, y, and z. But as soon as the person helping told me what was going on, I started to panic and get a bit of stress coming on. Didn't help that the center was really noisy and bustling either.

But, it was the change in my scheduling that created this. And, I've been noticing it a lot. Well, at least as I am starting to learn how to pinpoint things. I am not good with scheduling changes or unexpected deviations in plans at all.

Is this normal for Aspies? Or am I just weird this way?

Yeah, unexpected plan changes f**k me up. If I'm called into work on short notice, I have a panic attack and find some way out of it. It's so bad that I actually started planning as minimally as possible at some point in my childhood. I don't remember how old I was, but I remember thinking about it, planning to not plan.

I absolutely recommend not trying to plan time at a hospital. I work in direct care, and I have learned to assume that anything at a hospital that is even remotely busy will take at least twice as long as I once thought reasonable. I assume we'll need money for dinner and evening meds and just do what the doctors tell us until they say we're done, even if the appointment is early.

That's one of my biggest issues. I plan everything very carefully and struggle a lot when changes are made. This includes when I've planned NOT to do anything and then end up being asked to do something, and also the other way around when my plans are cancelled after I've put myself in the 'this is what I'm doing' mindset.

I also need lots of time to plan and prepare myself, so I can't deal with anyone leaving decisions until the last minute. And if someone's given me a time and then they're late, that's stressful too.

What happened to you can happen to anybody, no matter anybody's neurology.

Anybody would have been thrown for a loop from this.

Did x,y,z involve making money?

If not, I wouldn't really worry about it.

Your health is much more important.

I too can relate to this. I think it's why I'm so averse to scheduling anything much at all. I hate the stress I get when a task is overrunning. It's like that even when the tasks aren't really important. In an ideal world I'd never undertake to complete anything at any particular point in time, I'd only undertake to start it (often something of a feat in itself, what with my procrastination problem). I've mellowed with time though, I have some capacity to remain calm when this kind of thing happens these days, I talk myself down, I ask myself if the task is really so important, and I've occasionally managed to make an executive decision to cancel the next task, which can be a great relief.

Actually, it was the unexpectedness of the change. I was just thinking I would be in to sign papers. The other was a surprise. If I had known that I definitely would have planned nothing for the rest of the day. I too know how that works in clinical settings. Even with an appointment, it can be late.

As far as the other things making money, nope. Just had the day planned a certain way and it got changed and it stressed me out. It happens on other things too. But, this was the most concrete example I had and most recent.

I can't stand to be late, so I am always early. If something makes me late, mass transit, whatnot, then that stresses me too. Bugs everybody around me though. Can't stand for things to be out of schedule including who shows up late and stuff like that.

Yes, this is utterly aspie-normal! I must admit, even stuff that I have planned adequately for can mess me up if it's far enough outside my usual schedule. The worst is when people re-arrange appointments, thereby creating TWO days of scrambled head for me.

Having grown up in the 'sink or swim' generations before now, I always made allowances for these things because I knew that life makes things crazy all on its own.

But, it always created internal turmoil and did not understand its full impact until recently.

All those things that I felt and was told to 'just buck up and do it' made it worse and over time, really burns me out.

With my current knowledge base, I realize I have had 4 distinct periods of burn out that has led to disastrous results for me. Addiction, depressions, extreme social anxieties.

For instance, I have to go to the VA today, but expect things to be different than before and made sure to plan for extra time this go around. I do try to adapt, but knowing how to adapt in changing situations that I did not account for still is a thing for me to overcome.

No spontaneity here..at all...

That is definitely common for Aspies. It happens to me too.

Today, it went ok. I got to the VA. The added time I planned for did well for me compensating and then made an appointment after that. Then, got some new tubes of paint. I'm really, really broke, but not eating much, soooo, I'm painting instead LOL

So, not too bad. But, I made a bee line back home. Still not really comfortable being out for much of anything. When in the art store, I went straight to the tubes, got them in 3 minutes from the time I walked in the door and right back out.

I don;t mess around with shopping LOL

But, I'm home and do not have to go out until my next appointment on Monday. So, right at 3 solid days indoors.

About to go paint now.

My likey me paintey!!

What are you painting?

I'm not sure how to explain it. I may post some if I'm comfortable with it. It's new stuff for me. I started laying the groundwork for a new way for me to paint last year. Now I'm taking it further.

I am using a palette knife exclusively now and only a brush to put on the signature.