23 Dec 2016, 6:24 pm
It's a couple of days away from Christmas Day .
Christmas will not be much of a day for me , as it pretty much always is , certainly not in the secular festival aspect .
I certainly won't have any " Christmas-tree gathering " , or " ugly sweater party " , or " singing along with Perry Como on ' There's No Place Like Home For The Holidays ' " 
.
I could say I won't get any presents - However , that would be literally untrue , I was in a couple situations of getting " homeless presents " , bags or some socks and a couple chocolates , like that .
I certainly won't see any holiday specials on TV ~ I have no TV !
I have no adult family who cares about me , and the one ritual I had , of calling my ret*d brother at his group home on the Christmas day (as I would call him on other days) is off to me -I have no phone , nor are there any pay phones around anymore .
I do realize that there are some people who have too many " family/ritual things you have to do at the holidays " and they feel overloaded by them/forced into too many - However , I have nothing at all 
.
My body is in horrible shape - I am endlessly diareea-ing/letting small poop out , as I went out to-day I felt it coming out , I don't know how stained these pants (cheap Old Navy blue jeans , the only " real " pants I have now , I also have some sweatpants , you'll remember that when I started to replace my clothes I couldn't find anything else in stock but broke-instantly pajama/sweatpants - Another brand , not the one I have now.) .
I just COUGH-COUGH-COUGH SO much !
Perhaps I'll see if I can get into the hospital - I'd miss the big homeless Christmas feeds , but maybe I could rest and get some Wi-Fi at the hospital .
_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!
