Actually useful social skills

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I'm thinking of starting a social skills class in my area, teaching kids around 6-12 years old who will mostly be on the autism spectrum. My plan is to teach them skills to handle social situations without pressuring them to act 'normal' when it doesn't meet their needs.

I've already got a bunch of ideas, but I thought I'd ask you guys - what are some skills you wish you'd had when you were that age? What are some skills you've found particularly useful for navigating social situations as an autistic adult? What are some things you wish you knew how to do now?

Smile. Stick a smile on your face and keep it there for the rest of your born days. Do not forget about it or let it fade. It's the most powerful tool I've found. Whatever you want, you can't have it until you smile. But when you smile, all doors are open to you. Smile first, then speak. I'm serious.

Second thing - practice eye contact if possible.

Third thing - greet people, preferably by name, just in passing.

Fourth thing - put this button on your cap: "I am not ignoring you, I have autism." It worked wonders for me. Put it where people can read it without your seeing them do it - makes them less shy. In the huge grocery store, they had security teams following me because I'm weird, and slow, and hide my eyes from the light. Then I wore the button - all clear! This is better than the in-your-face buttons. It just explains.

Social skills is more than just the body language and being appropriate/polite.

I'm sure, acting skills and scripting are easy to pick on just because it's more apparent.
But then, there's the relative concept of charisma, the usage of diplomacy and persuasion, the way of keeping up or melding in the atmosphere or mood... All possible without too much compromise, unless your culture IS full of compromise. And I don't think I have the right words for explaining these things.

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You're probably right, social skills is more than that. But I was thinking of the people who haven't got that far, like me.

I don't quite know how it fits into social skills training, but I wish back in school I had the ability to not be completely disarmed by someone teasing/making fun of me. I never had a good comeback, it was just embarrassment, self-loathing and wishing I could hide.

I can't think of any specific social skills that are different than the ones already listed, but I think its so great for you to offer a class like that. It will really help those kids to not feel so alone.

So:
* Smiling
* Eye contact (if possible)
* Greeting people
* Getting an autism button people can read without you seeing
* Charisma (how do I teach that??)
* Diplomacy and persuasion
* Keeping up with the mood
* Handling being mocked

I have an autistic 10 year old and he's going through a lot of things I did as a kid.

So:
•how to not seem like a smart ass
•when to not speak

I'd also say "talking back"...but that's a concept I still don't understand.

... The kind of social skill I want is the kind that brings truth or percieve truth out of people. Which is a tall order even for NTs. That's the only kind of social skill I truly want to have as long as I can remember.

I got the rest for myself, mostly out of curiosity and for learning's sake.
Sure, I had desired blending, fitting in, or generally the kind that people wouldn't bother me, but I grew out of those.
I'm already slowly grasping the things I mentioned from my previous post. I found ways when doing the most basic ones mostly because I'm studying people and myself.


But I never sought appropriateness, politeness, euphemisms at all! I never sought to be sociable. That takes a personality, and I'm not exactly an extrovert.

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Hmm, where to start? I hope it doesn't matter, for the sake of this thread, that I don't have an ASD diagnosis. Here are some social skills I wish I could've learned or been way better at as a kid:
I didn't learn until adulthood how to consciously bring about or hold onto a genuine smile. I learned to find the humor in little things, to find lots of positive little things to bring to mind when I need to smile on cue. Also, as a blind person, I've practiced smiling and touching my face during different kinds of smiles to see how they felt.

It would've been nice to know when and how to join a group, either for conversation or for games. I know this is awkward for most people, and I feel like the earlier we can teach kids about the social cues to watch for, the better.

Not seeming like a smart-ass, good one, I was often guilty of that one without knowing why. So, the art of being humble about what you know, gauging other people's interest, stuff like that.

Hmm, diplomacy/persuasion, I think that would start with why those skills are important, in case the kid is at a point ,in their lives when they don't care, perhaps some stories or having the kids talk about what they can gain or do for others by using these skills. Maybe skills like "I" statements, not directly giving others "should" advice, learning when and how to ask questions or state opinions, and stopping the automatic snap judgements in their tracks before they come tumbling out of your mouth.

How about empathy stuff, like not assuming you know how others feel, taking different perspectives to imagine different ways someone might feel in a given situation, asking questions about how people feel?

Finally, how about the give and take of conversation? Kids will be at way different points on this one: taking turns, gauging someone's genuine interest versus politeness, asking good questions, sharing appropriately, not going on and on for too long, learning to open up about yourself, ETC.

I know this is really long. I hope a few of these will be useful.