Female, Aspergers.

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found out I have Aspergers, the funny part is that I'm a Psychology student who's been with an Aspie for 4 years. It took me 22 years to realise the only thing about myself I really needed to know. I'm a smart good looking young woman and I put myself through hell because I always hated my mind. I've been diagnosed with RDD and I always felt wrong. I've known about Aspergers since I was 16 but I never thought I was different. I didn't know, I just thought I was weird and blamed myself for not doing well. I feel so much peace but my head is everywhere, I keep remembering everything that i didn't understand about myself and it all makes sense now. Every single part of my life.

That initial shock is usually followed with a few months of recallibrating your memories, realising what in your history was "your" fault and what was the condition. It settles once you've worked through it all mentally.

This is what I'm going through as well. Diagnosed last November and keep getting flashbacks of difficult and/or incomprehensible events that suddenly are seen in a whole new light. Think I'm slowly acclimatising to the idea of having ASD now, but a part of me still is digesting it.

My diagnosis was shocking for me and also most people I know who I shared my diagnosis with. I've always been socially successful on the surface, but underneath and in the long term I have had huge problems that I just kept to myself. I denied them and came up with different theories about the cause for many years. We always know we are different but until we know what we are dealing with it can be supremely confusing.

Once I got my diagnosis it was like shining a new light on a very dimly lit past and seemingly unconnected series of events. Everything became much clearer. There was also a mourning period for the person that I thought I had been, and an adjustment of my expectations of myself so that I can both accept my limitations and enhance my strengths.

I think diagnosis is a blessing for those of us who never understood what was "wrong" or different about us. It means you will become much more self-aware of the reasons behind different occurrences, and can equip yourself with appropriate coping mechanisms

Thanks everyone, I've fallen into depression so many times because I bottled up my mind. In school I always thought I was stupid, even when I ended up graduating first on my class because no one ever told me you're intelligent. When I started doing projects outside of school and getting some recognition, I couldn't deal with the attention and the anxiety. Now that I know, I feel at peace but I don't know how to deal with myself. I sat in bed for an hour talking to my husband about it and we both started talking about my life and every event that stood out suddenly made sense, everything. I'm so grateful that I can finally understand myself but most importantly, now I don't have to hate who I am.

It is a pretty incredible and powerful feeling to come to this realization about oneself.