Does this look like Aspergers?

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I'm trying to get a handle on why my wife and I struggle to gain a normal relationship with our son, now age 32. Could it be Asperger's? I made these notes on him:

Wanted a computer game at age seven or eight where “he was somebody inside the computer”. Went on to become a computer game designer, which he appears to be very good at. Works full time as a game designer, and works on game design and plays computer games in his own time.

Was always glad he had no brothers or sisters. “They would have been a nuisance.”

Fairly horrified at the idea of doing a job managing people or being a teacher.

Did not get involved with girlfriends in his teens in spite of many opportunities. Eventually took up with a rather dysfunctional French girl who he was with for five years. Then with a German girl who he is still with and with whom he has a two year old child. Hates the idea of marriage.

Doesn’t like the UK. Has lived many years in France or Germany. Currently in Germany.

Does not like to talk on the phone or skype, etc, so mostly doesn’t. Didn’t speak with parents when his child was born, only texted.

Has had minimal contact with parents since leaving home for university at 18. Prefers Facebook-style contact, but very fussy about which Social Media he uses. Prefers not to meet in person. Says that if his parents see his child once a year, that is enough for them to have a relationship.

Hates his Father talking to strangers if they are together.

Had a spell of buying very expensive birthday presents for his parents.

Has no contact with other relatives (Uncles, cousins.) Liked his Grandpa, but didn’t attend Grandpa’s funeral.

Doesn’t handle anything practical. Could not cope with buying a house, so rents a flat. Does not own a car. Was scared to hold a chainsaw. Cannot cope with loud noise.

Seems to have low self-esteem. Can get angry easily.

Had great trouble making good friends at school. Always sank down with the “worst” kids, who tended to abuse him. Did better in Sixth Form, which those kids could not get into, but again fell in with the least academic, least motivated group. Never liked to bring friends home, or for his parents to get within 100 yards of his friends. The one friend he did have home was the son of his parent’s friends; this boy was very bright but dysfunctional. The contact did not last.

Very troubled by any mention of homosexuality.

Has very little empathy.

Seems to need small but regular amounts of alcohol.

Now skypes his parents most weekends with his child’s activity, mealtime or whatever as the focus of the call.

Does this look like Asperger's? All comments welcome.

Thanks,

Ken

First of all, welcome to WrongPlanet! I hope you enjoy your stay.

Second, no one on this website can render an official diagnosis through third-party observations that were posted on a social website.

Third, you would need to consult an appropriately-trained and licensed mental-health professional to obtain an official diagnosis, and that professional would have to meet with your son in person over several counselling sessions.

Fourth, the symptoms you relate could correspond to ADD, ADHD, Asperger's Syndrome, Bipolar Depressive disorder, Clinical depressive Disorder, or even Schizophrenia.

Finally, since your son is well past the age of majority, and has a productive life of his own without you, it may be well for you to finally "cut the apron strings" and let him live his life in peace.

It could be a lot of different conditions. There are some things like noise sensitivity and social issues that could be indicators of Autism, there are others like homophobia that are not.

Is he satisfied with his life?

If he is satisfied the problem probably is that you are dissatisfied with his life.

If he is dissatisfied with his life/if these “traits” are inhibiting his life or messing up his son he needs proffessional assistence. Thing is he is a grown adult who has to want that assistance. If it is messing up his son that is something the mother of his son may need to be involved with.