need some help

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I'm trying to find closure with someone with someone I had alot of tension with in the past. I'm alot healthier than I was before, but she might not know that. And in order for us to really find closure, I need to explain to her some of the crazy selfish things I used to believe and make it absolutely clear that I dont believe these things anymore, which is tricky because alot of the tension between us was caused by me saying crazy things to her and it always makes her nervous

I understand the sentiment but I think you should leave her alone. If you care about her, and you know this will not benefit her at all. This is for you. Write a letter then burn it.

Restraining order?