Tips for Diffusing Meltdowns

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Hey guys. I'd like to get your perspective on diffusing meltdowns before they become explosive. I have a lot of trouble with that at work, because I'm a social worker, and often have to attend large meetings or trainings which involve large gatherings of strangers in close quarters. I was volunteering at one such event last week, a fundraiser for my office, and the noise and crowds were suffocating and overwhelming. I wound up hiding under a table, slamming my head into the table legs, until my friend who works with me (and has a second job providing respite care for children with severe autism) pulled me out forcefully and put me in the "autism hold" until I stopped hurting myself.

I'm worried, because I have another similar large gathering that I have to attend in two weeks, and I don't want to humiliate myself like that again, especially since this time, my boss will be with me and my friend who helped me at the last event. She knows I'm autistic, and is very supportive, but I don't want to show her that side of me. What do you guys do when you feel a meltdown approaching and you can't escape? And I guess, since you're here, what was the last major meltdown you had?

Get a stim toy that you can use in your hand while your hand is under the desk/table. Burn off some of that energy before things reach critical mass.

Yeah, I have a couple stim toys that I like to use in such instances, but they only delay them meltdown, they don't prevent them, unfortunately.

Knowing the kind of environment you'll be going into in advance, see if there's any aspect of it you can make easier.

In my case, I've come to recognize that in certain situations involving crowds, there's a possibility I might faint. There's a combination of factors that make this more likely, so if I know I'm going somewhere with crowds, lots of walking or standing around, and where it can get pretty hot, I try to at least make it easier on myself. For example, make sure I'm not wearing too many layers of clothing (like a winter coat indoors, or a historical re-enactor's wool costume out in the hot summer sun ... things I've learned not to do.) And make sure that in a big crowd, I do my best to have somewhere to sit down ... which may mean, arriving early and claiming a seat long before an event starts, ideally, an end seat on the aisle which gives me more space and an easy exit if need be. In some cases, having water nearby in case I start feeling overheated or faint.

Having said that, the weird thing is that if I'm going to a Star Trek event in costume, the crowds etc. don't bother me ... in fact, I seem to draw energy from the crowd when I'm in character.

But yeah, when you know your limits, you can hopefully take steps in advance to at least make things easier and hopefully avoid a meltdown, a shutdown, or fainting.

I wish you the best for your upcoming event.

Thanks for the advice Phoenix, it's helpful. I like the idea of claiming a seat on the outskirts of things so I can escape if need be. I have earplugs but I think I'll bring my heavy-duty headphones in my bag with me, just in case. They're not subtle, but neither is kicking and screaming in the middle of a networking event. I need to find a good visual stim toy that I can focus my eyes on to keep the visual overwhelm to a minimum. I have a "metallic" tangle that might do the trick. If I wear my inflatable pressure vest under a sweater vest too, that should help as well. I found it very effective during my grad school interviews, and no one could tell I was wearing it.

I unfortunately suffered as I always do when I went to Trek Con in 2012. I had a great time dressing up and meeting the actors and shopping at the stalls, but the huge crowds during the panels were too much for me, and I had to miss out on a few things.

Well sure, StarTrekker,

... and if you're sitting near a door and feel that you must leave a business or networking event suddenly, you can always socially cover for it (without focusing too much attention on it) by excusing yourself to go to the ladies' room. Actually, something similar happened to me at work recently ... just as soon as an IT guy came to my cube to take a look at a computer issue I was having, I happened to go into a coughing fit (I really should have been home in bed that day). The IT guy had just said something like "What seems to be the trouble?" ... so I barely choked out, "I need to go to the ladies' room for a minute ..." and ran off. When I came back, I apologized for my bad timing, and everyone in the area was nice enough to not make a big deal about it.

Am sorry to hear the crowds were a little too much for you at Trek Con 2012. They usually jam so many activities and celebrities together that it can be impossible to see or do everything you want.

Anyways, it sounds like you're coming up with some good ideas to prepare for future events.

I stand in the back of the room so I can pace and burn off energy without being a distraction to the audience.