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rushfanatic
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21 May 2007, 12:36 pm

I just need to express something, I never revealed this before, but I am just pondering this....a few years ago, at a fair, I was walking from a stand to join my family. I passed a gentlemen with a younger grown man, I did not look at them, but I was aware of them. AsI passed them, the older man said, "Now THERE is a real woman"...I did not look back, I just kept walking to my family. He spoke very seriously to the other man..For one fleeting moment,I stood out, but also, I stood" in" for that moment.. I felt like I was ok, even thought I am so different from the others...I just wondered if we all present ourselves as the unique people we are...It did not make me gloat,or brag, I could not have done that. It just surprised me, that is all.......Ever feel for one fleeting moment that an NT compliments you honestly, or really appreciates who you really are?



nobodyzdream
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21 May 2007, 12:40 pm

My bf does it regularly and I know he means things sincerely, but I rarely FEEL it, and don't tend to associate it with myself really for some reason :P Maybe I'm weird.



Kosmonaut
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21 May 2007, 12:42 pm

well he may have been being sarcastic or something :?
sometimes i can never tell.
mainly i assume compliments to be patronising, like you say, there is the rare exception



rushfanatic
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21 May 2007, 12:47 pm

No, I could tell by the tone of his voice that he was being honest, straight....



Astilius
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22 May 2007, 4:44 am

nobodyzdream wrote:
My bf does it regularly and I know he means things sincerely, but I rarely FEEL it, and don't tend to associate it with myself really for some reason :P Maybe I'm weird.


I don't see why anyone is pleased with compliments.
If they're true then it's just stating a fact that you're probably aware of.
If they're false then it's a lie and you should question why they're lying to you.



Zhaozhou
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22 May 2007, 6:55 am

rushfanatic wrote:
Ever feel for one fleeting moment that an NT compliments you honestly, or really appreciates who you really are?

I have always being complimented a lot, especially as a child. They all said I was intelligent, and they really mean it because I demonstrated it. Most of the times it didn't mean anything to me though. I think problem lies within me, I never push a friendly relation so deep I really respect someone as my peer. It doesn't mean I am unfriendly, it's just that before discovering autism I wanted to find someone with my attitude.



kclark
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22 May 2007, 8:35 am

I am complimented fairly frequently as well, but I just think, isn't that how you are supposed to act? Why are you thanking me for something that I should be doing. I kinda stumble over the uh.. thanks and continue with whatever I was doing.
The worst is when someone decides that they need to praise you in public for something. So embarrassing and makes me feel like there is a big spotlight on me and that I must be even more careful not to mess up.



nobodyzdream
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22 May 2007, 8:40 am

Astilius wrote:
nobodyzdream wrote:
My bf does it regularly and I know he means things sincerely, but I rarely FEEL it, and don't tend to associate it with myself really for some reason :P Maybe I'm weird.


I don't see why anyone is pleased with compliments.
If they're true then it's just stating a fact that you're probably aware of.
If they're false then it's a lie and you should question why they're lying to you.


lol, I've done that quite often actually if I take it wrong or interpret it differently than it's meant. My boyfriend usually winds up saying "oh sheesh, I won't compliment you anymore" and is surprised if I just say "thank you". It's a lot easier to just not mess with confusion when I take it wrong, or don't know how to interpret it, not to mention no appreciation when I know it's sincere, lol.