Should I go for a evaluation for Autism?

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Hello,

I cannot help but get sad that nobody understands me.
The only person who does is my lovely husband. I have a hard time reading people and get upset easy. I tend to clap my hands and flap them to kind of release stress naturally. I also rock back and forth and side ways. I have no friends, due to maybe not reading them properly. All my life I have felt different to others and have been bullied for it. I have meltdowns and hate sounds that are out of my control, like banging sounds, stomach rumbling etc. I get very agitated and cover my ears as the sound hurts. I don't like being touched. I have been screened for anxiety and depression recently, but I think that has been caused from just being who I am and have been fosterd most of my life. I went to speech therapy in primary school and had to get my hearing checked to see if I can hear a beep etc, yoga,councillors and mentors in my school days. I had special needs teacher help me sometimes when I was in school. I cannot socialise properly unless alcohol is involved. I dislike people looking at me, including my husband. I am not good with eye contact. I look normal but dont feel like I fit in. I used to pretend to be somebody else alot, so I can feel normal and I still do at times.
My mother has mental illness, but I an not in contact with her since 16. I am 29 year old female. Why am I like this? I hate myself and nobody understands my struggle. Please help!

Welcome to WrongPlanet.

I know I always ask this question ad nauseum: But what are you REALLY interested in?

I'm glad you've found a soulmate. Does he have autistic characteristics, too?

As long as it doesn't cost too much, why not go for the evaluation? Are you working or going to school at present?

Thank you for replying,
yes I work. My Husband wants me to get checked out. I don't want him to deal with the way I am. It's not fair on him. Plus I keep losing friends and find it hard to understand what people intensions. Even at work it can affect me as I just don't know if I am being understood or if I am being attacked. I have to go to my husband to ask what some people mean, by what they say. He is sure my soulmate, even some of his family members who I used to do nice things for, still bullied me and weren't nice to me. I am sad I haven't had anybody else there for me apart from my husband and my dog and another male friend. I am always nice to people but still deemed as "odd" . I feel used at times. If I said the slightest truth to somebody, they get angry and then I lose a friend. I thougt friendships were about trust?

What are the "truths" which you tell these people?

I'm sure these people are a bunch of crap. But maybe, using my experience, I can give you some advice about when or when not to reveal certain "truths."

Sometimes, people just aren't ready to hear the truth. Sometimes, it's just better not to mention things at all.

I had to learn to zip my lip LOL

I try to hold my lip. But I am not rude, I just say what I think and don't understand why they get upset. My friendships never last. Plus I tend to lose interest in things and people quickly. I been like this my whole life. I just want the help so my husband doesnt have to deal with my meltdowns and snappyness. He compares me to Sheldon Cooper on the big bang theory.

You're probably a lot nicer than Sheldon LOL. He's just a stereotype, anyway.

Maybe more like his girlfriend (whom I wouldn't have minded dating...)

Is your husband, sometimes, insensitive with you?

I'm sure there are many nice qualities to you, too. Otherwise, your husband wouldn't have married you.

I'm sorry his family has taken advantage of you. Your husband, perhaps, should speak up more for you.

Not all his family, only a small part. His sister and 2 nieces. He has a big family. Most of his family are sweet. His dad (past away last year) was my bestest friend out of his family, he understood and loved me alot. After his passing I feel I only have my husband who is caring. My husband is abit different to them. More of a soft nature and gentle. He said he will never leave me. I said "Never say Never" He said he "can say Never because it's the truth".
He was angry when I showed what his nieces and his sister were doing to me. He wanted to have a blasting at them on the phone, but I begged him not to. He never gets angry, apart from when he shouts at the tv during football game when his team is not scoring properly. lol.
I have always been nice to his family and helped them, bought them nice stuff, gone to visit his sister in hospital and got her magazines and chocolates, we used to hang out and she alwaysed complimented me on my looks etc and I even became good friends with her daughters but if I said something, I get attacked. My husband has 2 sisters and 3 brothers and many neices and nephews and grand nieces and nephews. So the mean ones are just a small portion. But that is because they live close to us. My husband says people don't understand me because they haven't LIVED with me. He cries because he sees I cannot help who I am and sees my struggle. And wants me to be evaluated so I can know how to explain it to people in One word. I don't like labels, but he said it would be good to be able to know, so that I can work with it. I see myself in Sheldon Cooper and do things in 4's. 4 time is to lock the 123 together like a padlock.

Plus my husband is 44 years old and I am 29.

Sheldon Cooper wouldn't have thought to bring chocolates and magazines. He would have complained about having to visit them in the first place! You're nothing like Sheldon, even if you "think in 4's."

Einstein was an extreme genius----but he was also a jolly fellow with a good wit. Even somewhat of a womanizer LOL

Please do stop telling your husband that he will "leave you." It must frustrate him. It's obvious he digs you a lot.

I've dated girls who insisted that I would leave them, too. It was frustrating for me.

I'm almost thinking you're having a bad day, and "everything is coming down at once." I've had those days, too.

I don't think it would do any harm to get evaluated autism. You don't have to tell your job if you don't want to.

My father was 55 when he married his present wife. She was 25. They still are happily married. A 15-year age limit is not that unusual, especially when the woman is the younger party.

Is it worth getting evaluated for Autism if it might not be? I don't like to waste people's time. Plus not sure if these traits are traits of Autism or not.

You seem to have some autistic traits---though I'm far from being able to offer an authoritative diagnosis.

No...I don't think you're wasting anybody's time.

Actually, come to think of it, you could, perhaps, read some of Tony Attwood's works. He is an Asperger's authority who is Australian.

If you still feel you're Aspergian or autistic after reading Attwood, then I would go for the evaluation.

One definite symptom of Asperger's is the failure to thank somebody for advice.

I've been known to do that.

I'm just kidding, by the way. I hope you come back to the Site.

Hi CuriousNikki17, (hope it's not too late to post in this thread)

If you are in or near Melbourne, I would recommend psychologist, Danuta Bulhak-Paterson. She has a clinic for women with autism. I got my diagnosis from her, just finished the process today. She is very respectful.

There are many other specialists in Melbourne and around Australia, but it can be a good idea to find out if they work much with women (I believe).

I think it can be really helpful to understand why you have certain attributes. It doesn't have to be just a label. And I feel as though it's a really good step in case you want counselling, then you can find a psychologist who understands you a bit better (that's what I'm hoping for myself, anyway)

Also, if you do decide for diagnosis, you don't have to tell anyone you don't want to tell.

Hi Nikki,

The PM didn't go though; I never got one from you.

But thanks, anyway.

I wish you could just go on the computer, and just research something you enjoy. I don't think you show any signs of "Borderline." You're just concerned about having autism. You're not used to it.

I'm fortunate that I've had autism for 56 years LOL

Where in Australia do you reside (just name the region, not the town).

So, you don't think it is Borderline personality disorder or more Asperger's traits?
I am in Gold coast Australia