please help me

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over the years I've posted alot of crazy ramblings about this on various forums, but I think I finally got it right now.

I'm not sure, but I think that whatever it is I'm trying to describe was caused by having my brain be chemically lobotomized by some vitamins I took to treat my aspergers and the fact that my brain learned to deconstruct things or something.


I think that what I want is for things to go back to the way they were before, or something like that. I've been struggling for years trying to find what im looking for, but I think I finally figured out how - what I need to do is make it so that my brain is locked in a mode where it perceives EVERYTHING having to do with grounding and abstract perception as having an infinite number of problems from every possible angle whike trying to avoid neuroplasticity as much as possible, or something like that - that's easier said than done because of how "slippery" my brain feels right now, and a bunch of wicked problems related to harm ocd would still exist (anything that is even indirectly related to harm ocd is part of the wicked problem that would still exist) Someone PLEASE help me find what I'm looking for

Strangers on a website are not gonna even be able to figure WTF you're even talking about, much less be able to "help" you.

Go get professional help from mental healthcare worker. Please!

"Neuroplasticity" is absolutely necessary.

Otherwise, you remain a newborn infant in mind.

It seems to me that you want to be able to obtain an "autistic perception" similar to that which is expressed by people like Temple Grandin.