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Mr_Miner
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01 Aug 2017, 1:13 am

I was always told I could write very well and speak with a good vocabulary. But often I feel like even though I try to be precise and respectful people get VERY angry with me. It's like I am having a totally diffident conversation. People care about their opinions so you just end up yelling and insulting. I probably do the same thing.

Does this happen to anyone else? Maybe I am not explaining it very well.



Keladry
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01 Aug 2017, 10:39 am

It's probably due to a difference in communication style and/or missing social cues, and/or saying or doing something not appropriate (or NOT saying/do something appropriate) for the situation. I've had similar situations, where people got angry, and say I am inconsiderate, or using them, or something other negative when really I was trying to be nice, polite, considerate, grateful, etc. It's really frustrating, and hurts, but the feedback can be a good thing as it lets you know how you are being perceived by others.

Maybe try to keep track of the different situations. What did you say (or not say) when the person became angry? What was the context around it? Do you notice any patterns? Develop a theory and test it out. If it's wrong, try another. Observe other people when in a similar context. Sometimes the things they do will make no sense to you at all.....but they are probably doing the things that others expect in that situation.



BTDT
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01 Aug 2017, 12:48 pm

Perhaps you aren't getting their part of the conversation? Or misinterpreting what they said? People often get upset if they think you aren't listening to them.



Stoic0209
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01 Aug 2017, 2:29 pm

This happens to me all the time. It makes my work a lot more difficult. I miss cues, or I phrase things strangely, or a mix of the two.

Or I just freeze up in the middle of making a point because I consider another option or a rebuttal to my point, so I'm trying to resolve that in my head and finishing my original point at the same time.



Earthbound_Alien
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01 Aug 2017, 5:31 pm

Stop blaming yourselves (if you are at all doing that..ive had a little vodka due to social isolation distress).

Anyway, I have several aspie friends and was once up for assessment for Aspergers myself (until everyone NT like started treating me as learning disabled when I am not so I decided to pull out of the diagnosis). Anyway, they (aspies) communicate just fine, are not difficult to understand and as far as I can see have few communication issues other than misunderstanding NTS. And more often than not, NTs misunderstanding them (they tend to misunderstand a lot).

The problem, NTs have a completely different communication style that is um..well ok, um, NT like.

Um..yes. ok Nts ...not much more i can say about that.

Aspies are ok. At least they natter about interesting things.



Earthbound_Alien
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01 Aug 2017, 5:39 pm

Stoic0209 wrote:
This happens to me all the time. It makes my work a lot more difficult. I miss cues, or I phrase things strangely, or a mix of the two.

Or I just freeze up in the middle of making a point because I consider another option or a rebuttal to my point, so I'm trying to resolve that in my head and finishing my original point at the same time.


Have you considered that NT social cues are full of bol*****?

The are made up social conventions and nothing more, they are not based in logic all so whom in hell has any chance of keeping up with them unless you want to spend hours browsing the social trend bulletin board on the latest social networking site where they spend hours on end gossiping about made up crap about someone they know or don't like Yawn .


Never in this lifetime (or any other) will the majority of them contribute anything meaningful to this world.



Earthbound_Alien
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01 Aug 2017, 5:43 pm

So don't be so threatened by them or feel less than they. The majority of them will never do anything really important with their lives.

So how special are they really?



Earthbound_Alien
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01 Aug 2017, 5:45 pm

OH and no one ever understands me. Im nothing like the majority.



1Biggles1
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01 Aug 2017, 5:47 pm

Regularly <---(has to be my shortest response yet :| )