Aspergers & Talking to People

Post Reply New Topic

When did you have trouble talking to people? Did you always have trouble talking? I'm mean social skill.

Yes.

It did not come over me gradually, or even suddenly. I have always been silent around strangers, and quiet around even those with whom I'm familiar. I barely talk to my own family.

I am chatty only with those with whom I share personal interests, and even then, usually not until after I've known them for a while.

I made my living talking for many years, but it was all done in a closed studio while I was alone, essentially talking to myself through a microphone and listening to myself in headphones. The only other people involved were stranger's voices on the telephone and they didn't seem very real.

Completely different than talking to live human beings, where my mind goes blank and I simply have nothing to say.

I have always had trouble talking to people. My social skills have never been really good. If someone asks me a question that I know the answer to, then it is easier for me, but having conversations with other people is difficult for me. If someone is talking about a subject that I am knowledgeable with, then I can easily talk to them, but it still takes me time to get comfortable enough being around them. When I am with a group of people, it helps me to be there with someone I know & feel comfortable with who is able to help me engage in the conversation. When I am there alone, I am usually silent & uncomfortable. I am even uncomfortable with my own family, except with my father. Many times, I just sit & think about something else when I am left out of conversations, and not interact at all.



When I went to school, I did not make friends & I never talked with any of my teachers or classmates, and I still have the same problem at my job; I am not sociable with my co-workers.

It's the talking to bit that made me most aware that I was an Aspie. I find it very difficult to approach people and start a conversation. I just don't know how to join in with a group. I can talk to people in a professional capacity when talking about something I feel confident about, or as you say when I am knowledgeable about a subject, but if I have to ask something at work it does stress me out a lot.

I also recently tried counselling but I discovered I found it very difficult to talk about my feelings, not because I was shy or embarrassed by them, just that I found it very difficult to put into words that someone else would understand.

I also spend a lot of times left out of conversations. Sometimes I just can't think of anything to say, sometimes I have to many thoughts and can't decide how to put them into words, and sometimes by the time I have worked out what I want to say someone else is talking or the conversation has moved on.

It has made it difficult to make friends, but friends are still possible. I got married to someone who shares my special interests, and now one of my special interests is my daughter. So I have managed to make friends with two of her friends mums, because we can talk about our children. But when I go to pick her up from school I look around at all the other parents and it's just impossible for me to approach any of them.

Always

Yes, I've always had difficulty talking to people. First it was with my family -- had older siblings who were not nice to me. Talking to them was pointless & never a good experience, so I avoided it. Talking to my mom was sometimes okay, but only if I had a question & only if she had time to listen -- like when we were in the car. If she was in a rush or had a headache or on her car phone, then no, but if we were shopping for school clothes that was usually a good time to talk to her. I didn't have a father figure until I was 8 -- loved talking to him, because he taught me a lot of things I was interested in -- tools, mowing the grass, fixing his lighter, changing his car oil ....

School was not a place to talk -- only listen. Didn't have consistent friends, so didn't have regular opportunities to learn how to socialize. Socializing always has made me tired anyway. Guess it is kind of like being overweight -- running makes them more tired than someone who is in better physical condition. I don't have "social muscles" so when I try to do it I get exhausted from exertion. It became not worth the effort, because don't get the positive effects that others seem to have.