issues with being in a busy supermarket?

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Hello I was wondering if anyone else here relates to these issues and how you cope with them. I'm not even shure if its sensory or ASD related as I have never really had any bad sensory issues that I have noticed. But here goes.
Basically busy supermarkets and crowded places in general have been causing me major issues to the point that I won't go food shopping on my own. But I find being in a supermarket extremely overwhelming. I end up looking like an idiot, walking around making small noises, mumbling to myself unintentionally. I am always OK when I walk in for the first few minutes but then not long after, things start to change. I feel like my head is a balloon, slowly filling up with pressure, I have to get what I need and get out quick. I get extremely anxious and overwhelmed by the amount of people around me, I find it hard to navigate with so many people pushing carts around around me, trying to judge where they are going to go, like a confusing maze, sometimes people get really close to me when walking past and I for some reason can't deal with people being too close to me, I need space, my friends often wonder why I move away when they sit next to me. Often I don't get what I'm looking for because of this issue where if someone else is standing not even close to what I'm trying to buy, for example I need to get a loaf of bread, but there's a guy standing like 15 foot away from the bread section or too many people down that isle, I won't get it or I'll come back when its quiet. If any more than 2 people are down an isle, I won't go down it and I'll try another which is an issue when you have to go up and down them to navigate the shop. This is another strange one, I often get stuck behind slow moving people which in turn makes me get a little annoyed, but the thing is, there can be plenty of space for me to walk right past them but for some reason my brain won't let me do it, so I end up following angrily behind them until they move. The final issue is Que's, I again find waiting in a que too much to cope with, I get very nervous with people being so close behind and in front. There was a time when I forced myself to wait in the checkout que and I couldn't bare it anymore, I put my shopping on the nearest shelf, walked out and then cried like a wimp when I got home. Embarrassing to admit for a 21 year old guy. There was a time when I was waiting in a que feeling overwhelmed, a lady in front of me said "would you like to go in front of me as you only have one item", and my head went into complete overload and disorientation. I completely humiliated myself as I started stuttering trying to answer her and then I just put the item down I was going to buy, walked out the nearest exit quick as I can, sat in my car for a minute, then went to the supermarket next door and paid double for the same item. Also when leaving the supermarket once, a large cherry picker was driving past me in the car park, and the beeping was driving me nuts, not hurting me but messing with my head so I had to almost run to my car with my shopping. Its always supermarkets that have caused me many issues that I find l would like to get help to overcome. I have no issues as long as its not too busy. My mum has aspergers also and she is exactly the same as me.

I have also been in a football stadium with 25,000 other people with my dad and been OK so it makes no sense to me.

I have problems with supermarkets too, but it seems you have it way worse. I can handle things easily enough if I'm alone (as in I came there alone, not me being the only customer) in a supermarket I'm familiar with and remember where the things I need are; I just go in, put them in the basket, pay and get out. The bigger problems come when I don't go alone, like the times I've been to my parents' place and we drop by the supermarket before she takes me back home. The problem is the fact that I tend to find all I need fast, but my mom takes far longer which is understandable since she buys the food and other things for four and doesn't live near any shops or have as much time in her hands as I do, so she has to buy lot at once. Even so, I find it really uncomfortable to be in the supermarket waiting for her to finish when I've already found all I need.

I don't like it when supermarkets are really crowded and busy. I don't like strangers standing in my personal space. I suddenly lose all concentration on what I'm looking for, because the presence of someone standing there looking for the same thing I'm looking for just gets to me.

Also kids make me anxious too. No kid really likes the supermarket, so they think they can run around and shriek and get in everybody's way. I wish they had supervised creche's, or whatever they're called, in supermarkets, so that parents can leave their kids there whilst they do their shopping.

I have most of the same issues although if someone is 15ft from what I want to look at that's okay for me, but it's more when they are actually there in the same part of the aisle as the things I want to get to, like in Joe90's case, that I can't concentrate or focus and I have to walk away until I can be more alone there to pick out what I need.

And that's even when I already KNOW what I need and just have to take it off the shelf!

I always make a list before I go to the store, I have my favorites, and I know exactly where I'm going and which products I will be taking.

But I still can get messed up even just doing that. I have been known to even pick the wrong item off the shelf because my brain got all messed up by the distraction of people crowding me or shoving their arm past my face to reach for something too. I've come home having not even bought the right thing I buy every week, that was on my list, even, because the crowds distracted me and I was having sensory issues and brain processing issues.

It's even worse if my listed item isn't in stock and I need to choose the closest alternative, or there is something new I want to at least study and read the label and have to pause to consider buying.

Then I really need to think, and I can't think straight if someone is standing right there in my space, looking at the same things.

I don't know why, it's almost like their presence messes up my "radio signals" -- I've always thought of it that way. Like running a microwave can interfere with wi-fi, strangers being in my space makes me unable to process smoothly.

I also don't like how difficult navigation becomes, the more crowded it is. It means more to process and decisions to constantly make just steering the damn cart, in addition to shopping tasks.

I try to go at the quieter times, but where I live there IS no really quieter time. It's always busy because I live in an over-populated area as it is.

That's my only suggestion though -- ask a member of staff about what are the least busy days of the week and hours of the day, in that store, and try to only go during those times.

It also helps if there is a map of the store available, showing where types of items are shelved. Then you can make a route plan of exactly where you need to go, and tailor your shopping list to go in order of the physical layout of the store.

Always make a list beforehand, of what you think you will need to have at home until your next anticipated shopping trip. I plan for seven days ahead, then shop once a week. If you have more storage some people shop for a month's supplies so that they only have to face the store once a month.

You may also consider shopping for food online, if your store has a website and a delivery option. Personally I still prefer to pick out my own food even though I hate being there. But delivery can be a good option if you don't mind about that.

I guess I am unusual. I really don't mind public places or the ordinary noise and hustle and bustle. However, when people get into my personal space or children run around unattended and could possibly bump into me or knock me over, that's a different story. People talking to me when they are standing behind me makes me jump. Otherwise, I'm okay.

Yes, I worry about getting bumped into or knocked over, doubly so since I also have physical issues that are incredibly painful if someone knocks me around.

It's an invisible condition and nobody can understand how easily they can cause me injury if they or their child or their shopping cart pushes or bumps me or my cart.

Invisible issues both mental and physical are the worst in crowded or hectic situations. Nobody can see to give extra care around you.

Supermarkets are hard because there are so many decisions to make. Too many choices adds to the stress.

There are lots of people at a stadium, but you don't have as many choices to make. Plus they usually have ushers and helpful people at the concessions to reduce the stress. At some places they even have guys selling stuff in the stands so you don't have to leave your seat.

It's at the checkout counter that I get uncomfortable, because it's necessary to deal with someone. I trust that they understand that I don't talk because I don't know what to say

Michael829

Some supermarkets have automated checkouts. They will let you enter in produce numbers.

Shopping can be really challenging for me even though I've been doing it for a long time. I relate to avoiding even looking at an item if people are down that aisle or especially if someone is anywhere near to it - that happened to me this morning. Over time I've learned to mumble "just gonna grab this" or something similar if I need to access an item and another person is standing there. I've learned to avoid people's personal space and move some distance around them or walk slowly behind them if I need to - that used to bug me a lot, but now I try to flow with it. I tend to go into sensory overwhelm with the fluorescent lights flickering and all the colors and textures and I have to control my eye motions and gaze or I look odd to people when I either keep glancing all over or try to stare downward to avoid the excessive input. Going to a new store is hard - I tend to go to the same store as often as I can. Then I have a routine path I follow. Trying to find an item in a new store makes me pretty nervous and can take me quite some time and I worry how I look to the surveillance cameras. Unexpected interactions with people can also really throw me off, although I like to be friendly. A "bagger" asked if he could tell me a joke two days ago and I said "sure", although I mentioned I could be somewhat slow in the mornings. He asked if I had heard of the new wookie ball? And then said it was chewy. (A play on the Star Wars character Chewbacca the Wookie.) I couldn't absorb what he was saying and kept staring at his mouth to try to read his lips, which was pretty uncomfortable for both of us. After a minute or so it sank in and I laughed and just repeated I'm slow at times. I felt badly, as he seems to have an impairment too, and was trying to be friendly. I used to keep my shopping list on a mobile phone, but quit doing that when an employee must have suspected I was shoplifting or something - my body language must be different than most people's. I do a lot of pretending to be NT when out shopping.

Shopping centres piss me off.
The noise, having to overhear people's brainless conversations, the fluorescent lights, people close to my body especially behind me, I hate people not controlling their brats whom they let run around, scream, throw groceries, barge into people etc, people moving too slowly and getting in the way (it seems to be a new trend where people spin their trolley horizontally, then stand next to it and dawdle as slowly as possible down the down the aisle so no one else can get through at all - I move quickly, and I have to try and get around them or they force me to speak and tell them to move ) I hate looking at something for more than .2 of a second and someone will come up and reach in front of me, physically touching my body without even saying anything, instead of just going away and waiting their turn - but convexly I hate it when there is no one else in the aisle but invariably, someone standing right in front of the item I want to look at for 20 minutes solid without moving, so I have to leave without it because I had already gone away, done the rest of the shopping and come back (eg waiting my turn) and they're STILL there.
I hate being self conscious because I get stared at a lot, I hate people's behaviour screwing up my chronology (eg I take a list so I don't get lost, I work out ahead of time where the items I will want will be, beginning from the produce section at one end of the store through to the medicinals / cleaning products at the other end, and I set up my list according to store layout, so I don't miss anything. If someone is interfering with me or causing problems, I have to mess that up and come back, and it scrambles my brains).
I hate trying to negotiate around people physically because I'm clumsy and I get the social cues wrong (eg this evening when I went, a stock replenisher dude was taking up half the aisle with his stacker trolley thing, and some woman coming toward me with a shopping trolley shoved herself between me and the stacker trolley thing, trapping the grocery basket I was carrying between the two. She was all "sorry, sorry," and then frowned at me, I assume because I didn't give the customary response, which now I think about it was probably to repeat her words (not hard for me - echolalia) and smile, neither of which I did). I don't know what to do automatically in those instances and have to think about it, and by then it's either A) over already or B) weird.
I also can't think straight with someone too close, their proximity is overwhelming and all I can think about is them and how they're too close and getting self-conscious that they're looking at me and trying to come up with what I'm supposed to do or say if they were to speak to me or touch me.
Right now I have the added problem of trying to keep my temper in check and keep from acting out. Ugh.

I cannot do stores either but football stadium type of events are usually okay. Stores have too many visuals, too many decisions that I have to make, too many other people moving with their own agendas and projected energy. Football games are loud, but most of the movement is far away and we are observers, and other people are all focused on the same thing, same energy level, and not at me.

I wear noise-canceling headphones and walk with my hands out keeping people away. I have my family or an aide with me. Make my list beforehand. Know where everything is beforehand. Do more frequent trips with fewer items. Go in the 10 items or less checkout to reduce wait time.