Questions About Aspergers

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Is it harder for Aspergers to do things than NT people? Can Aspergers be selfish or rude?

Yes it is harder I believe.
And I've been called both selfish and rude multiple times.

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Last edited by xatrix26 on 28 Oct 2017, 9:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.

My therapist has said that Aspies and Autistics are both gifted and disabled at the same time so there are many tasks that we can do better but still there are many tasks that are quite difficult and some situations are even quite intolerable. Especially social interaction.

Workplace scenarios are especially difficult for me because I tend to want to work alone and when I'm forced to work with somebody else especially an NT then the situation can spiral out of control and I usually end up getting fired. Or I quit.

I get anxious about things that most NTs wouldn't, which obviously makes it harder for me.

I don't think Aspies can be any more selfish and rude than NT people.

Of course aspies can be rude and selfish. Just as much as anybody else. However, there is the added difficulty of being accidentally rude/not realising that one is being rude (NTs can do this too, but it's easier for those on the spectrum).

There are a spectrum of people within all walks of life. Some NT's will find things hard and some easy, some AS folk will find things hard and some easy. We are all individuals.

I read that it’s harder to understand words & understanding life, & that look like being rude to other people. I also have Cerebral Pasly, I read that CP can appear to be rude too, I think. I know they can be selfish. My sister read about Aspergers & talk to a doctor, but they don’t know what goes inside a person brain. My sister can call me rude & selfish, she is rude & selfish too, she don’t believe she is rude& selfish.

Part A: Depends a lot. Some things might actually be easier. In general:
*Those with Aspergers are often very loyal and dependable.
*They don't give up just because someone says "this won't work" or the like.
*Usually good at recognising patterns.
*Generally honest. (don't say that I can't tell a lie if it's necessary, though)
*Tend to be good at seeing details.
*Being highly sensitive can give a different perspective on the word. (well, I'm a bit hyposensitive... also kinda handy sometimes)
*Tend to trust others, and be compassionate.
*Don't mind working alone if needed.
*Can form connections others miss.
*Can be very persistent if needed. ("Never Back Down" by TSFH says it all!)
*Don't discriminate/bully in general.

Part B: In a word yes. But anyone can be rude at times. But those with Aspergers may be more likely to not realise that they're being rude.

An aspie is unintentionally rude and/or selfish out of cluelessness and neediness.
Cluelessness how to react appropriately, what IS appropriate, what NT 'needs' and expectations, what to do in certain parts of life, self management, and so on. We don't have that instinctive 'guide', nor the majority versions get it right.
Neediness towards order and shelter from chaos due to overstimulation, or in need of chaos to rid of order due to under stimulation -- both would cost the 'need' of NTs mostly because they don't understand that, and compromise is usually in a form of discretion instead of something visible like tolerance and understanding.

Dealing with cluelessness and neediness usually results accusations of immaturity, and a lot of confusion and frustration.
As several parts of these are the reasons why aspies gets a hard time doing certain things than NTs -- you have more needs to deal with, and these needs are nonsensical to NTs. How do you explain these 'needs' without being sounding like a whiner or a spoiled brat in order to get some help?
If you need help, you can't exactly afford to be clueless towards the norm if you want to convince others. Unless you either suffer in silence and cope (which most aspies did), or if you could to figure it yourself and know what you're doing to yourself (which takes a LOT of internal work, time, opportunity, and changes to figure it out).


And, ANYONE can be rude and/or selfish because we are damned humans.
How others get away with it because they aren't generally socially clueless. And people trusts them in some extent because they aren't really needy. Or that if they are and able to convince them to 'understand', so they aren't accused of being demanding and selfish.

It can be harder for Aspies to do some things than NTs, but we might be better at some things too. And yes, we can be selfish and rude, either unintentionally, intentionally, or a mixture of the two.