anyone bullied as an adult?

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Have any of you ever had people spread rumors about you and try to turn other people against you? Have you ever had a person try to create drama between you and another person?

Not so much rumor as malicious sh!t talking.

Yup!

The worst thing is, it got worse in adult work life.

In school, people were more content to ignore me.

People can be so cruel.

Yes!! I'm much too easy of a target for this too, I have been all of my life.

In childhood, I was loud, overweight, and already emotionally worn down from growing up in an abusive home. It was a disaster. Nowadays, I intimidate people a lot more, I'm a lot fitter, and I'm 175 cm (5'9") so I definitely stick out in a crowd, but still just as sensitive as I was in childhood. I think the fact that a lot of bullies like a challenge makes me an easy target, so I'm working on that.

For me it was people discussing me behind my back (work) and hurtful digs. In the end they decided to punish me (For not being exactly like them I think ) by ignoring me where possible, ah! the relief

Looking back I see my being Aspie was relevant but they had issues with other people too before me so it wasn't all to do with that. I would never work in an 'all female, not enough to do' environment again.

I also had a person tell the new people at work that she didn't know I worked there when she got hired.

Yes. I'd rather not go into detail, but rest assured that you're not the only one to have been targeted as an adult.

Nope.

Hello LadyElaine - oh yes. Adult bullying / Workplace bullying is definitely a thing, and Aspies / neurodiverse come in for a very large share of it.

20 years ago it was not understood at all, the standard response was to blame the target for somehow "threatening" or "upsetting" the bullies. Which of course rigged all situations in the bullies' favor. Understanding has improved but as far as I can see, people haven't much.

Have you done any online reading, or talked to anyone IRL? I went through this and my survival mechanism involved finding a few decent souls where I worked, plus someone I could talk with once every week / two weeks who would validate me and be a "sea anchor". The problem was real and its cause was outside of me, outside of my control; support made a huge difference, and I sure wasn't going to get that from managers. I was lucky to have some humane peers.

If you think reading will help at all, I'd suggest "In Sheep's Clothing" and "Character Disturbance" by George Simon, who also blogs. And "Snakes in Suits" by Robert Hare and John Babiak. These people really see behavior patterns and group dynamics, and they don't waste your time trying to make you care more about those who are harming you than about your own well-being. I know the books aren't directly about bullying, but they absolutely are about the human dynamics that produce it.

Hope this helps, or will.

Edit in: you might also google "tall poppy syndrome". The term is unique to Australia, but the US had similar beginnings and we definitely have this going on here as well. Helps put it in perspective.

Here's a starter link: http://www.businesspsych.org/articles/244.html

Yeah, I have had it happen online several times and I haven't even been an adult for very long.

^^ Trollheim is a very nasty place: https://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/ ... -have-fun/

It isn't you. It absolutely isn't you.

Oh I know people can be vicious. I'm interested in reading all I can is well due to my line of work.

Not at all.

Frequently the ASD person is passed over for an NT. The anger is very real in that case. I don't think a lot of NT's want us around.

I have been bullied as a child and as an adult.