Dog socializing is difficult!

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Ugh, it seems even the social structure of dogs is too confusing for me!
I have been reading some advice about this as I am responsible for a dog for a while. There seems almost as much social rules dealing with them as there is with humans!
The whole "pack" thing for example, and their apparently strong adherence to a hierarchy. Things like dogs must never be allowed to eat first, or when humans are eating, because in a dog pack the dominant dogs eat first, then precedence proceeds down the "pecking order" until the lowest ranking dogs have to eat whatever is left. If you allow a dog to eat before you, you are telling it that it is higher in the hierarchy than you and this will start to cause behaviour issues.
Same thing with never allowing dogs to go through doors before you, never be allowed to sit on the furniture or sit higher / on same level as you, etc.
Human behaviours can have different meanings to dogs - some people (definitely not me) kiss their dogs on the heads / muzzles, as a human gesture of affection, where in dogs it is said, inferior dogs lick the muzzles of their superiors as a submissive gesture, and this is why dog bites occur on the face - the dog is interpreting kissing it as a submissive gesture, and it dominates with aggression.
The same sort of advice goes toward the human's behaviour and temperament - things like you must be confident, self assured and dominant, because the dog can "read your emotions" and if it sees you as weak, it will feel stressed and pushed into taking on a "leader" role that most dogs are not suited to and this causes problems.
But at the same time, the advice claims you cannot reprimand a dog for bad behaviour (and I'm not talking beat it to death - more that you cannot even say "No" firmly or deny it something it wants because it is behaving badly) because this will traumatize the dog and make it fearful and stressed, and then it will behave badly out of stress.
It seems like interacting with them is just as fraught with stupid social rules as humans!
I'm not certain I buy all this stuff - humans could just be making it all up, but there is definitely a strong element of a social positioning and social animal interaction with dogs. You have to adhere to all these social rules and act in the right way.
This is why I don't like humans, let alone any other animal.
Any autistic dog people reading? What do you think?

Well I guess I count. I've trained animals for many, many years. The whole alpha thing gets all bent out of shape by people who do not understand animals and how they think and feel. Far too many people interpret it to be all about dominating an animal. They think they have to be tyrants. They don't. It's actually best to take the role of a patient teacher. When people are in tyrant control mode they give off way too much energy. Animals are extremely sensitive to energy. Being calm will lower their emotions. Feeding energy in will raise their emotional response. It's pretty simple really. Unfortunately, most people are not good teachers.
I can tell a lot about an owner by the way they say 'No'. Such a simple word but it can express so many different things. There's the NO! which means Stop that you little bastard or I will hurt you, then there's the No which means I'm just going to keep ignoring the problem until my irritation exceeds my apathy and then there's always the No which means I have no idea what I'm supposed to do in this situation so I'm just going to try and shut you down so I don't have to deal with it and a personal favorite of mine which is the No that means stop that you are embarrassing me. The 'No' that actually works is the 'No' that says that's not right, try again. it guides and teaches rather than attempts to just shut the animal down.
Hope this helps at least a little bit

There is no "pack thing"; dogs do not need hierarchy; that theory has been disproven.

Dogs can be fed first, or while humans are eating, just set whatever rules you want in your household and be insistent and stay consistent. For example, in our house, my dogs are supposed to sit, stay, and wait patiently while I prepare their food until I give the release command, then they can eat. This is only to teach them patience and self-control. Then, they are supposed to tuck underneath the table and wait patiently while I eat. But that is because mine are Service Dogs and we practice proper behavior for restaurants.

Dogs can go through doors before you, and be allowed to sit on the furniture. Again just set your rules, be insistent, and stay consistent. In our house, my dogs are supposed to sit, stay, and wait patiently while I open the door until I give the release command, then they can go through first. This is to teach them more patience and self-control. They are only allowed on certain furniture if I give them the command. But that is because they are Service Dogs and must learn not to get on the furniture out in public.

Some dogs love receiving and giving kisses; some do not. It depends on the dog's personality, personal space, and trust (like between any two people). If the dog is affectionate, and knows and trusts you, you can probably kiss them. If the dog is aloof, prefers more personal space, or does not know you well, then do not kiss them.

There are many anxious, self-conscious, submissive people who have dogs that are not stressed (for example, people with psychological disabilities and Psychiatric Service Dogs). They simply train the dog consistently to know what to expect and what to do.

Dogs do not know what the word "no" means but they can be taught it just like any other command - and they should. It is actually important to teach the dog boundaries because there are a lot of dangers out there. The problem is that they need to know what they should do instead. For example, if my dogs see something exciting and start to bark inappropriately, I tell them "no" AND THEN tell them to "focus" on me and then reward appropriate behavior.

It is not about dominance; it is about understanding you. Dogs do not generalize well, so if you only practiced X at home, they will not understand at the park. And if you sometimes let them do Y and sometimes don't, they will get confused. Confusion will lead to misbehavior; confusion will lead to stress.

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31st of July, 2013
Diagnosed: Autism Spectrum Disorder, Auditory-Verbal Processing Speed Disorder, and Visual-Motor Processing Speed Disorder.

Weak Emerging Social Communicator (The Social Thinking-­Social Communication Profile by Michelle Garcia Winner, Pamela Crooke and Stephanie Madrigal)

"I am silently correcting your grammar."