I'm doubtful of my ASD diagnosis.

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Because I can read other peoples face expressions and emotions. I think there is a major requirement of not being able to do just that. I have had delayed speech to the age of 3. I can't maintain eye contact with anyone since my existence. I do have narrow interests such as only computers and studying and nothing else. Basically almost every single part of the diagnosis I fit.

The problem is that I'm able to read other people's expressions and emotions, perhaps in an inaccurate way since I tend to misinterpret a lot of situations. I can also socialize without problems. Surely I can't maintain eye contact, I can't chitchat and I'm generally anxious, but I can still get friends and maintain that since I have done it. I'm mostly expressionless and when I'm anxious/stressed I become monotonous.

I do have a troubled history so I'm not sure if my issues are due to that. I'm also a generally emotionally unstable person, difficult to control and understand my mind.

Does this sound like ASD or something else?

Reading other people's faces and emotions is Affective Empathy, and people on the spectrum are actually almost as good at this as Neurotypicals.

What many of us are not very good at is Cognitive Empathy, which is the ability to see things from someone else's perspective. While we might be good at identifying someone is sad using Affective empathy, we will often find that we struggle to know what to do about it because we can't see things from that person's perspective.

A good example of a test that involves pure Cognitive empathy with no Affective empathy is the Sally Anne test, which can be found here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QjkTQtggLH4.

I personally find the Sally Anne test very easy based on straight logic. But apparently at a young age, the logic isn't yet developed, so it then becomes a test of Cognitive empathy (can you see things from Sally's perspective), and many children with ASD fail it.

So yes, you can be good at reading faces and emotions (Affective empathy) and still have ASD.

It took me a while--but I can read facial expressions fairly well now.

I don't believe the ability to read facial expressions preclude you from having an autism diagnosis.

I can also put myself in the shoes of others. Does that mean I don't have autism?

Many times, autistic adults learn how to "put people in the shoes of others."

Within a neurotypical, this ability comes naturally (sometimes). They usually acquire this ability sometime in the elementary school years.

I didn't have that ability until I became an adult.

There's no shame in being autistic. Unless you want to join the military or something, an autism diagnosis, alone, shouldn't have any impact upon you as far as employment opportunities is concerned.

It's not a disaster to be diagnosed with autism.

I know, but I'm conflicted whether the diagnosis applies to me or not. I have cognitive empathy, I can socialize (with great difficulties) and so on.

I feel like I may be misdiagnosed with either depression, social phobia or some sort of personality disorder.

You've not said anything to contradict you having ASD. A lot of people with mild ASD have cognitive empathy by adulthood and are able to make and keep friends. Were your symptoms worse as a child? I know mine were but I'm a very different person now. Your brain finds workarounds to learning things you can't learn the normal way.

I wonder how many kids misinterpret that question as "where should she look?"

Well, they sort of were I think. Always been socially oblivious, an outsider. I just didn't have typical symptoms I think, not severe ones. I think I was normal just with bad social conditions which gave me the symptoms of autism. I just feel as if most of the symptoms I have aren't real but instead me unconsciously trying to describe who I am and my problems based of a diagnosis that I probably don't even have.

I have always been physically clumsy, socially slow to respons to others, difficult reading others intentions and motives, difficult with chitchat WHEN I'm uncomfortable which is almost always, repetitive mundane interests and so on. But anyone can have these traits. I'm just worried that I'm a complete social screw up rather than autistic.

Your description seems autistic to me also, perhaps you have another co existing condition? ...like anxiety or depression. They would be a normal health reaction to a prolonged difficult environment, for anyone.

What exactly does it mean for someone to put themselves in another's shoes?

Does this mean a good ability to predict someone's thoughts when considering their situation? So you think about what that person is like, what their situation is, and then speculate how and what they would be thinking/feeling?

Personally, I'm not great at reading facial expressions and tone (better than I was though), but sometimes I can do it... and if the above is considered putting yourself in another's shoes then I'm good at that.

Last edited by Lost_dragon on 08 Jan 2018, 4:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I think I might have depression, been feeling down since the age of 15 and I'm 20 now.

What if my symptoms are caused by depression? That I don't have autism. Or maybe borderline personality disorder or something, dunno.

I know exactly how you feel. Most people here are so much more autistic than I am. Some people I have met in the past few years don't even think I'm weird, let alone autistic. I have to keep reminding myself of how different I was to the other kids and how I always knew something was wrong. Otherwise, like you, I feel like I'm just weak and very weird (but good at hiding it from others).

Yeah, pretty much this. Borderline "normal" is what I feel because the symptoms are mild enough to be managed/dismissed, with difficulties of course. So that difficulty is something I live with everyday and it's tearing me apart, especially since there are more and more demands when getting older. Social situations become more complicated and so on.

We sound very similar!

Nice, at least I have someone to relate with. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Reading someone's facial expressions has nothing to do with cognative empathy - that's affective empathy.

I'd say predicting someone's thoughts considering their situation instinctively is what cognitive empathy is about. If you're doing it using logic or by remembering a similar situation you were previously in, it's not cognitive empathy. That's why kids on the spectrum often fail the Sally Anne test, while grown ups usually pass it - the grown ups compensate using logic or their own past experience.

I'm not sure, but I think two ways my lack of cognitive empathy tends to manifest is:
1) I hate arguing, but I find myself doing it an awful lot, presumably because I have trouble seeing the other person's perspective.
2) When I see someone sad, or in some other state where they need comfort, I tend to find myself standing around awkwardly, not really knowing what to do, again, likely because, not being able to see things from their perspective, I don't know what to do to help.