Concerned about city safety: Feasible for me to live there?

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Hi I've been thinking about university for quite some time and think I've decided on what is probably the best career route for me. Based on my personality & interests Computer Science leading to a programming career would be probably the best employment niche for me.

My main misgiving about it is due to where I live I'd have to move super far away meaning no easy access to existing supports and I would have to live in a large city in Silicon Valley like San Francisco or LA. Most of the better job postings are in LA, higher pay plus lower requirements must mean the job market is heavily centered there.

I am concerned about the added potential risks of living with Aspergers in a city much larger than I've ever been used to asa well as having no available people as supports due to being very far away. No safety net(Not everyone would employ/tolerate ASD people), possible lack of "street smarts," possible increased likelihood of being targeted by criminals and other bad people. I hate driving so would have to use public transit.

How do I assess if a future life of work, sleep, special interests(I would avoid unnecessary risk scenarios) in a big city like LA would be reasonably feasible for me?

I'll add that I was unsure where to post this topic. It has some to do with job/career but more is about the actual life situation that would go along with it.

I survived LA, but there was some luck involved. Public transit there is terrible, but you might be able to do everything in a small neighborhood around an old town center. The job offers may just reflect the cost of living, not the demand.

I looked on StackExchange and there's lots of jobs paying over 100k/year. Highest being 140-170k. The requirements in terms of experience are lower than the 50-70k jobs where I live. Where I live it seems like at minimum you need a Bsc Computer Science and 5 years experience. LA/SF jobs usually said 2 years or even 1 year exp, some not stating experience requirements. Highest paying one said 2-4 years experience which was surprising as where I live for the highest paying jobs they tend to say more like 10 year experience and/or at least 5 as a Lead Developer. The ones that don't require a lot of experience here tend to be extreme low end like do some web page design for min wage, no education requirements.

Never thought about the cost of living, figured it's because it's Silicon Valley. Is it very dramatically higher compared to elsewhere?

According to this it seems relatively normal, unless the regular people(As in excluding Hollywood) in LA are relatively poorer than elsewhere in the US.
https://www.payscale.com/research/US/Lo ... -CA/Salary

My long-term plan would be to gain experience there, save money as much as possible then at some point leave to smaller scale place. If I could put cash in the bank I could pay off student loans that I would have and perhaps think about getting reasonable vehicle. I would say maybe house too but it seems that it's possible that ordinary people will no longer be able to purchase homes anymore due to being priced out.

I would firstly go to uni, hopefully can do co-op/internship which will give me experience greater than zero. 2. Silicon Valley, get a good amount of experience there and hopefully earn some money. 3. Move to somewhere I want to live permanently(Unless LA turned out to be not bad which I seriously doubt), should actually be able to find work just about anywhere if I have a good number of years of experience.

If you have a talent for programming, you are better able to learn and work at home than almost anyone else. Student loans have become a complete trap of very dubious value. They put you into the rat race with no way to stop the treadmill.
To investigate an area, my first move is to look up the rental ads, and the local news. Big cities tend to be zoned to require expensive, time-consuming commuting for everything including sitting under a tree. Old towns that never grew much are still designed for walking. I consider them real bargains for quality of life; the high salaries give you more zeroes, not more smiles.

I think my personality is possibly compatible with it. It was harder for me since I am basically opposite compared to family members. Computers are what I like but it gets discouraged by family. I started playing moddable games and easily get interested in how they work and learning about it. I like making my own content.

I would probably be working in programming already if I'd had techie parents who would have taught me about it from a young age.

My eventual goal would be to live in an old town, when I am the guy with a lot of experience I believe I should be able to find either programming or IT jobs there. They do need some but not many, so the jobs go to the guys with lots of experience. If I could land a job there making okay money(at least average) that would be a good end goal.

That is quite interesting though, to work at home perhaps. I am trying to learn at home, at first I am trying to learn scripting for game mods.

About student loads, I do live north above the border so it's significantly cheaper. I would estimate conservatively cdn$70-100k for total tuition cost. Whereas I've heard it can cost that much for one year or even one semester at a US university.

I wonder about things that might not be told in those.

I wonder if as someone with Aspergers I might be seen as an easy target for exploitation, crime or possibly hate?

When I was your age, student loans were co-signed by the Canadian Government, even for English Majors. I saw that the courses I was interested in were obsolete, so I didn't go. I followed my field in the periodicals until I needed some real engineering. For that, I went to the library, and was subsequently invited to lecture to graduating engineers. I learned a great deal simply by deciphering how things I handled had been made, sometimes destructively.

Wherever you go, there are people on the lookout for other people they can take advantage of. Any weakness or handicap will do - we don't have "Aspie hunters" to watch out for, except a gang of unhappy ex-wives. If I had gone to University, and developed a taste for beer, I might have developed more social abilities. If that's the life stage you need, a heavy course load is a handicap and a waste of money. You might get the contacts and general visibility needed to get hired or start a business long before graduation, like Gates and dozens of others.

When moving to a new area, having one trusted, local friend is incredibly valuable. If you can't establish contact ahead of time, try living with students as close neighbours. I found a rooming house with shared kitchenettes was ideal. I had a private space, but we all liked to get out and mix in the common areas, and they brought in a variety of friends. Get that sorted out before enrolling in anything.

Whatever you can do, it only matters if you can interface with other humans, but that is an art, not a science. There, "rules" are prone to bending or even reversal, and things seldom "add up." We swim with sharks, but so do they, so our odds are not too bad.

You think you will maximize your chances of success if you select the "best" programs at the "biggest" cities, to get the "best" jobs (that pay the highest). What I don't see you doing is recognizing that all this shooting for the top also carries a heavy load of competition, which could prove to be your undoing.

Adopt a strategy of a top pick uni, two or three (or more) not-bad picks, and a "safety" school (one you're almost guaranteed to get in).

There are scads of jobs in computer science in second-tier cities and suburban areas - some of which are very navigable by bicycle if you don't like to drive. (Examples: Palo Alto, Portland)

As an Aspie wanting a career in computers, your first challenge is surviving college. Dorm life, or apartment-sharing, difficulty making friends, the pressure of finals at an academic level more intense than you have ever dealt with before, and dealing head-on with an unfamiliar bureaucracy, all or any of these things could ruin your chances. You absolutely must make campus visits to get a "feel" for each school you are seriously considering; a lot of schools even have a mentorship/buddy program for entering freshmen or even just applicants.

I hope this alternative perspective helps you frame the problem in a new way. I'll write more later if you have any questions about what I've said.

I think the "about average" jobs would be very satisfactory. The "best" jobs show room for growth and are something to aim for. For luxuries all I need is a good gaming computer, martial arts &/or weightlifting gym membership, "OK" housing as in living somewhere relatively "safe" not having to live in the worst slum/ghetto, "OK" food as in keeping me reasonably healthy/free of unnecessary risk of sickness ie no malnutrition, organ failure, etc. Lack of a car should help save me money as should the lack of dependents.

My university of choice has an Aspergers society and also strong supports within the university for those with disabilities, I was told this by a psychologist. That is my main reason for wishing to go there. My marks are a bit low for direct admission but I want to take Open Studies(This should also help with adjustment then transfer into bachelor in computer science). I am able to get into Open Studies and was told(though I will ask again as this may be out of date) that for transfering to my desired program to aim for cumulative GPA of about 3.0(I believe they said the requirement will most likely vary between 2.7 and 3.2). Alternatively I could go to a tech college, do a 2 year diploma then post diploma bachelor's degree but the catch is i wouldn't be able to pick my preferred university of choice for post diploma plus that university might be more intimidating as it has at least 50,000 students probably more since that's what I heard back in HS.

I hope it might be more manageable if the topics of study are of interest to me. One thing that adversely affected me in HS was working too much which lead to getting behind and not wanting do the assignments/studying due to oftentimes having days with school -> work -> get home at 11pm and need to up at 7am. If I'd wanted to study or do assignment -after work it meant getting less than 7 or 8 hours of sleep. I plan to work less or not at all if it can be helped, in order to focus on school. Any earnings would be offset by having to repeat any classes.

I expect a possibility of bullying or even hatred but want to try to avoid those people. I'm learning martial arts and also I've read at the universities I've looked at there's conduct rules for living in the dorms. Social needs I plan to try to meet through friendships with people in the Aspergers society and perhaps also a martial arts gym if I am able to go to one. I hope if I avoid the big parties, the bar/nightclub scene, being out late at night I might be safer. I also avoid debating people directly, I just simply will ask questions, convey interest and not reveal if I disagree. I will not reveal my diagnosis openly.

Dating for instance will remain a "someday" thing. I will endeavor to try at it but my goal and mindset will be only "Learning". I will hold no expectation of relationships beyond the present moment, especially since I do not know what I want in a partner and I do not know what they would want in me. So my goal will be to learn about those things. If I do enter a relationship my mindset will be to think of things "one day at a time" and stick to my values.


That's very interesting and certainly would be much more pleasant living for me than downtown LA. As an eventual end goal I would want to work in Canada which should be more likely if I have experience. Dream job would be working for Bethesda and I would most likely stay in the US permanently if this could happen though I won't count on getting to work there. I will gain experience in programming/possibly try SWE, keep trying at Bethesda every few years but won't count on that as that is shooting for the top as they're probably the best game dev in North America. I am not interested in games development outside of that as I disagree with the philosophies of EA, Activision, Ubisoft, etc. It isn't necessarily game design I would be interested in, I just simply would want to create better coding for Bethesda leading to fewer bugs and increased modding capabilities.

If you can afford it, take a trip to one of these big cities and live there for a week. Get up in the morning, take public transportation each day, and go through the motions just like you would for a job. That way you can see whether you can handle it. You won't be very vulnerable in the commute crowd. Keep your wallet in your front pocket and watch how other people behave.

An alternative is to live in a "commuter town," a suburb that is just outside big cities. You would spend more time getting to and from work, however, and you'd have to find a place that has good public transportation into the city.

Another alternative is to check the city job boards of smaller towns. They may not have many job opportunities in your industry, but you probably won't need more than one IT job at a time. If you lose that job, you could repeat the process with another smaller town. Very small towns sometimes have trouble filling positions due to lack of candidates, so you may be more likely to get jobs in such places.

That sounds interesting

You can also car-pool. Just put notices up near each end of your commute.
At school, pinch every penny you can. I once lived almost rent-free by renting a whole house and subletting part of it. Subdividing further, I could have even covered the utilities.

It's wise that you recognize that work plus school could over-tax you, but you might want to consider schools that have a co-op model - where you get tech experience while still in school, but not having to burn the candle at both ends. Ask how aggressively the schools promote undergraduate internships. These types of programs are how a brand new college graduate could enter the work force with "two years experience" under their belt.

I suggested visiting campuses, and another respondent suggested living in each city a few days. These are really great ways to get a better sense of how liveable and compatible these places would be for you.

What have you been doing since high school?

It's wise that you recognize that work plus school could over-tax you, but you might want to consider schools that have a co-op model - where you get tech experience while still in school, but not having to burn the candle at both ends. Ask how aggressively the schools promote undergraduate internships. These types of programs are how a brand new college graduate could enter the work force with "two years experience" under their belt.

I suggested visiting campuses, and another respondent suggested living in each city a few days. These are really great ways to get a better sense of how liveable and compatible these places would be for you.

What have you been doing since high school?

Oh, and I wanted to address your worries about bullying, hate, crime. First, college is a completely different atmosphere than high school. People have better things to do than look for someone to pick on.

Also, there are groups that are much more visible for hate crimes than your run-of-the-mill Aspie. People who want to hate, are more likely to do it based on race, sexual orientation, and so on; and by and large, the people committing hate crimes are more outside the academy than in, though there are exceptions.

As for crime, some cities are pretty dangerous, even in the light of day, but all cities have better and worse districts. The important thing is to learn to be "street smart" and prepare for possible crime. In a lot of cities, people carry an extra wallet with a good chunk of cash in it, and if robbed, they hand it over willingly. You can also cross the street or keep to well-lighted areas or take the university's own transportation system to stay off the streets.

I do not think people will notice "Oh there's an autistic person, I'll rob that one" (or beat him up, or whatever). Criminals generally are not that sophisticated, to even know what high functioning autism looks like.

I have asked on a CS careers forum, they said the co op internships are typically standard in this field and that typically it will take place in between school years so like May-August. Basically any relevant job that wants a degree will also ask for at minimum a year or 2 of experience, most grad fulfill this through their co-ops by doing it between every year.

That's definitely going to be my next question for the university. Right now asking them to confirm what kind of GPA I would need, as long as it isn't 3.5-4.0 required(equivalent to ~90% or better being a baseline requirement).

They did say they recommend HS upgrading when I emailed a while ago. But I don't know if that indicates a preference for applicants presenting HS marks over those presenting university credits or perhaps a bias towards younger applicants, I had assumed it would be because usually it is cheaper though it isn't if student is over 21. Over 21 means paying full price $750 for one high school level course which I think is comparable to what individual courses in open studies would cost whereas 21 & under pay $125 due to subsidy. Open Studies is somewhat cheaper per semester compared to a degree program from when I'd checked.

And I've heard a lot about our education system being pretty substandard, IMO it's like Little League compared to university standards. For example I've got a friend who grew up in the UK and in Math knowledge was handily above a canadian Grade 12 level in Grade 9. In the UK in Grade 9 they already learn intro Calculus whereas here it's an option for 2nd semester grade 12 after completing regular grade 12 math. So I think Open Studies will both serve me better in terms of telling me if I am indeed intelligent enough to try for a bachelor's degree, can handle university life and helping to prepare me for the degree program.


Dealing with severe depression, anxiety and others who tell me I should go into the trades and become a plumber/carpenter/welder cause my computer stuff not "man's work". I tried telling them I can't jump like Mario but that doesn't work. No direction in life = a lot of wasted years. This is what happens when you are born into a family where you are an opposite sort of person compared to parents/siblings.

I am averse to debt and to risk. I hate the idea of grading on the curve but I think at this point, it must not be that prevalent in normal universities otherwise no one would go. No one would go if needing 80/90% means being the best out of 5 or best out of 10 students. No one would go if 80/90% required means 80/90% chance of failure statistically, if it were "be the best or fail".


That is interesting but is it potentially not legal to do so? I know where I live now the rental agreement forbids this.

Leasing arrangements vary, as do enforcement standards. If you have a bit of capital and find a suitable house it works very well. If you look responsible and reliable, a landlord will see you as an assistant manager in a way. I always take care of all repairs, etc. - just pay on time and fly low. The down side is that you have to find and deal with tenants or roommates. The up side is that you get to choose them all, and not put up with changes you don't like. You also get your choice of rooms.