I get jokes but don't always know how to respond

Post Reply New Topic

I think this is one of my main social deficits. I love a joke or banter, but I don't always know how to respond, other than laugh. Laughing is a good response, but I think I would still be more interesting if I came up with good comebacks.

The other day I was in a convenience store, and this man jokingly said to me "are you following me around?" because everywhere I was, he was. I think he was also being a little bit flirty too. I knew he meant it as a friendly joke, as I'm not bad at noticing body language and intentions. But I wasn't sure how to respond.
In 1 second I thought to myself "if I say no he might think I took him seriously, if I say yes he might think that I really am following him around".
I had to think quick, so I said "yeah!" and laughed, then said, "nah, not really" and laughed again.

Probably sounded awkward but judging by his reaction, which was a friendly laugh, I don't think I responded too badly.

Do you find responding to humour difficult at times?

You could have said 'In your dreams, matey!', but then again there's no guarantee as to how he might have taken that.

In all seriousness though, this is an issue I've sometimes had. In some instances, a good response has only occurred to me days later, or even months.

I'm a lot better at coming up with a decent one-liner if it's with people I know, or am not feeling stressed.

I don't worry much about it, but I'm sure I sometimes don't know how to respond. Sometimes I just say, in a slow drawl, "Ohhhh-kayyyyy...."

If you want to, you could develop a few tried and true responses, such as "That's not what she said!" and "You just go on telling yourself that!" The previous poster's line, "in your dreams!" is one of these types of replies.

You handled it pretty well IMHO.

In a situation that's not complicated by flirtation(like when a coworker tells a joke that's funny, but not lol funny) you could just smile, and nod.

Yeah it can be hard doing the "pretend serious" response because sometimes people don't pick up that you're joking too. I still cringe remembering one time when I was on the phone at work and the client on the other end made some stupid, not-clever joke about a bridge from Australia to New Zealand. It wasn't funny enough to laugh but I couldn't think of a clever reply so I played along and pretended I believed him. I thought it was obvious I was kidding. Then he puts the phone down to get something and I hear him in the background making fun of me to his colleagues, telling them I believed him about the bridge. Again, I couldn't think of a recovery retort quick enough for when he came back. So the call ended with him thinking he's funny and I'm an idiot, and me thinking I should have just laughed at his lame joke

I can pick up on jokes about 90% of the time, but often don't know how to respond, as well. I usually just laugh. I get very flustered and confused when people directly tease or joke at me (unless I know them pretty well) because I honestly have no idea how to respond other than laughing awkwardly.

When people are joking I think I usually know about it, but tend to respond literally anyway for some reason.

People think I didn't get the joke, even though I did.

I do that sometimes too! It's like half of me gets the joke and the other half of me doesn't and responds literally.

I (usually) get the joke, but the interpretation has to pass through the "literalism filter" first. Then I sometimes respond literally anyway because I find the implications funnier.

Hmm...

I have sometimes been known to ask people to repeat themselves, and then realise I understood them a split second after I asked them to repeat themselves. My psychologist has speculated that I might have some kind of auditory processing issue.

Maybe with the jokes it's similar. Maybe I respond literally the tiniest fraction of a second second before getting the joke. I certainly am not consciously aware of any "aha" moment; as far as I'm consciously aware, I got the joke from the beginning, but it's conceivable that it could still be related to something like this.

Yeah, a similar thing happens in my mind.

Hey, Child of the Universe, just wondering...is your name based on the Children's Choir song?

It's based on the poem Desiderata by Max Ehrmann. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PNq_DTmVCWs