Autistic auto mechanics?

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I always owned old piece of junk cars and motorcycles because i had no money then fixing them become my hobby and addiction.

Were drive/ride i can hear any abnormal noise that car makes and i get feeling that its unreliable and going to break in most inconvenient situation.
Also i feel physically if car starts to dive abnormal, when engine is working too hard under load etc this drives me crazy i feel like its going to break right now, so at my first opportunity i always fix my car best i can however i for it being old it does not last and other things go bad and need attention.
I try to make car perfect flawless and i have no budget for new parts so i just fix old problems temporary best i can and it been tremendous waste of my time, because even after all work i do there's still an engine and transmission that i cannot fix.

This become addiction to me i cannot own old vehicle because i spend all my time fixing it, i used to like that process, but not anymore, yet i cannot stop i hate myself for this.

My neighbor on other hand drives car that makes such a wild noise and feels like its on its death bed, but he's not stressed about it at all.

well...

Get yourself a job as an auto mechanic. Get training, and get hired in a real garage.

That way you will be able to earn tons of money doing what you already have an aptitude for.

And because you will earn so much money you will be able to buy a spanking new car that doesn't need to be fixed all of the time ( so you wont need to mess around with car fixing when you're off the clock).

Sounds like a no brainer to me!

I spend under $200 pa for combined parts and depreciation on economical, reliable cars. I've had to do two roadside repairs far from home that were easy, and one close to home that took a few trips. I've been driving the same car for ten years now, and always felt uneasy about the right rear wheel bearings. Two years ago, I had them off while getting the drums turned, and they were passed by both myself and an excellent mechanic. This spring, they failed, but I did drive home from a long trip, putting up with the noise.
I don't take chances with steering or brakes, and I'm pro-active on rust, but in general, I want to see how long I can wait to do maintenance. Maybe you just need to adjust your perception of how close to breaking things are by giving them a hard test where and when a failure would not be a big problem.

Man in California there's ton of mexican mechanics and all they getting paid according to beau of labor statistics is nothing compared to any IT job, and i am also IT programmer. I hate dirty manual jobs at this point, when i live the city i should focus on making most money, its when i get out of there then i can do something more chill it just makes no sense economically to settle for less.


I cannot help it i get paranoid yesterday i took a ride up the hilly road and felt like my engine is going to seize or fall apart from all the load i experienced (its just 80cc scooter) this made me almost depressed instantly because i expected it to preform better, i will stay away from anything used at this point or will not even buy a car period will just use Uber for now.

I know...I am just a mean old vocabulary Nazi, but….

"Paranoid" does not mean "Worried" or "afraid". The word "paranoid" means that you have delusions that folks are plotting against you in vast conspiracies.

Hearing your car making a funny noise, and jumping to the conclusion that you should look under the hood is not even abnormal, nor irrational, nor delusional, not anything that has anything to do with paranoia.

Now..if you had an uncle who was a fervent Evangelical Christian, and he stopped to change a flat tire on the road, in the middle of the night and that caused him to be dangerously exposed to traffic and caused him to die when another motorist hit him, and you jumped to the conclusion that the death of your religious relative was due to a Jewish conspiracy to undermine Evangelical Christianity...then ….THAT would be you being "paranoid" ( because its a delusion about a conspiracy). And BTW, I didn't just make up that example as a hypothetical (because it had to do with cars). A friend of mine, who has some paranoid tendencies, actually had a relative die that way, and actually said to me "you hafta wonder about it [being a Jewish conspiracy]". .

But like I said: I am just a nasty vocabulary Nazi. Except maybe I am not that because...THIS website IS for people who have been involved with the mental health system, and therefore maybe members should be careful how they use words that are labels for psychiatric conditions.

To rephrase it i feel like thing going to break down any moment when i hear any abnormal sounds its makes me upset and stressed out because i feel its going to have me stranded or worse if not fixed. I dont like that feeling i even get it with new cars say when passing old vehicle in the city that makes some wired noise i start to worry if car i am driving making this noise or not and this is stressing me.
I am perfectionist i cannot have things breaking...

Have you tried any of the standard treatments for an anxiety disorder? Have you tried riding real junk? Entering a Demolition Derby? How about listening to music?