Embarrassment and Blushing

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Does anyone else have trouble with this? Does anyone know if it's a particularly aspie thing?

I've had trouble with this since adolescence. I'm prone to feel embarrassed and blush in just about any social situation. I'm not sure why, exactly. Perhaps it's to do with general low self-esteem and a sense of inferiority to others.

I kind of tend to feel ridiculous that there is a social situation going on and that I am part of it.I feel there is an absurdity and a basic crapness about the way humans have organised ourselves and I feel as culpable in that as anyone else, or maybe more so because other people perhaps don't feel this. I just feel embarrassed to be part of something that is so far from ideal.

I feel a bit like people can see through me into my thoughts and so I can't hide anything about myself that I don't want to display socially, and as no one else is displaying the things I am thinking and feeling within, I feel guilty or something for thinking and feeling those things that I feel people can just see. I think Jung wrote about this with regard to the INTP personality type, that is, that INTP's feel a very weak sense of persona and feel that people can see right through them.

I've felt that embarrassment and the fear of embarrassment has held me back in some ways from doing what I want to do, saying what I want to say, behaving in the way that I would like, and so on. Perhaps it's not such a majr issue for me now as it was but it does still commonly arise day-to-day.

I used to be very much this way, but as the years went by and I slowly gained in self-confidence the regular embarrassment and fear of embarrassment went away. It used to be such that just to get the vague sense that I may look embarrassed or feel I was blushing would in itself bring on the embarrassment and a massive amount of blushing; the whole thing was a tortuous cycle feeding on itself.

So, you put its passing down to growing self-confidence? That's interesting.

I get this all the time at work... I worked with the same women for a few years, I think they used to think it was shyness about rude jokes or whatever and they called me belushi beacon, they ignore it more now because they know I can go bright red whenever I say anything. I've noticed I get it alot if something irritates me, if I express any emotions to others I often blush. I don't know if its an aspie thing.

Although I wouldn't put it down to embarrassment, I still blush when I have to talk to some people I don't know.

I'm 46 and it must look odd to whoever I'm speaking with.

You sound as though it doesn't bother you. Is that right?

I can relate. Why do you think it happens?

I try not to think about it. If it happens there is not very much I can do about it, so I don't let it bother me.

I think I've come to a similar attitude to some extent. I mean, blushing is nothing to be embarassed about, right?!

Is this a kind of 'what is, just is' philosophy of acceptance? Or is there a bit of denial going on, here? I mean, if it doesn't bother you, whay the effort not to think about it?

Sorry, I know I'm probably reading too much into your reply, so please excuse me.

i think its a combination of my self-consciousness and having little in common with work colleagues so feeling quite different to them.

Nope, I don't blush much, perhaps only after I've really, really put my foot in it. I'm not "shy" in the traditional sense.

Jason

I always blush! I remember when I was in high school my history teacher was missing a lot of history textbooks and she was asking the class if they had any at home. She asked me and I started to blush and she didn't believe me because my face was bright red. I just don't like being put in the spotlight or being accused of something I didn't do. I wonder if you were taking a lie detector test if that would screw up the test. Just because you're blushing, shaking and nervous.

Perhaps it's a kind of visual representation of feeling different. I would have to think about my feelings of embarassment in different companies to be able to say if this was a factor for me.

I think self-consciousness, yes, that does seem to play a part for me. But isn't everyone self-conscious? Maybe self-consciousness becomes an issue when something is difficult, in this case, a social situation. You know, how like a good sportsperson is just doing it and not thinking about how they are doing it? For others, perhaps these social situations are not difficult. Having said that you'll probably get a lot of people saying they find social situations difficult but not getting embarassed in them.

Yeah, I know what you mean, although it's not just that I don't like being put in the spotlight. I actually do feel guilty even if I havn't done anything wrong like take those books. I mean, I suppose I feel some kind of deep sense of wrongness that I am embarrassed about and I feel people can just see it. I think I would feel a little fraudulent passing a lie detector test regardless of the subject and, yes, my bodily responses might mess up the results. This has got me thinking about the roots of these feelings in my life.

That's good to hear. What do you put your lack of blushing down to, if that makes any sense?

I get embarrassed very easily, and I'm extremely anxious. I have rosacea so most of the time I am blushing anyway. It's annoying, but I've learned to deal with it.