Parental support - is this ok?

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My father affirmed lately that he wouldn't help me from the age of 18 because "I'm an adult"

I wonder if anyone has any views on that?

I mean, both my parents were responsible for themselves financially and otherwise from the age of sixteen.

At eighteen, you're an adult. If you're capable of providing for yourself, your parents have no obligation to provide for you indefinitely. If you have autism that affects your ability to be independent, that's another story, but if not, eighteen is the minimum requirement for parents. Especially if your parents are getting on in years, it can be really stressful to continue to financially provide for an adult dependent.

If "help" means something other than financial aid, I think it's just a matter of parenting policy. There's tough love, and while we might not all appreciate it, some amount of respect is still owed to a person who stuck by their kid to adulthood. Many parents don't do that anymore. My own parents are far, far from faultless, but I have to acknowledge their efforts and be grateful for what they did that led to making me the person I am today, which isn't all bad. They usually did what they thought was right, even if they were wrong 90% of the time.

I think that's a given in most cases isn't it?

Only about 16% hold down a full time job.

Are you 18? Your profile says 49. What's up with that?

OK well I was trying to get as an objective answer as possible... so I left the context out.. yes I am 49 and my father says he won't help me "because I'm an adult".. here is some context :

viewtopic.php?t=375548&start=45

My main concerns are homelessness..

He thinks that's fine. I'm an adult. I can always go to hostel to co-habit (with people with a history of violence and drug users etc - I'd sooner kill myself).

It's nothing to do with him "my generation just got on with it".

It's a horrible thing to say, but sometimes I wish I'd been born with a visible disability. I can't manage day to day life, let alone navigate housing issues (my Aspergers Dr. signed a declaration that I have "severe mental impairment"), but the constant gaslighting just drives me to depression...

OK, well, that seems a little manipulative to me, so I'm going to let someone with a bigger heart answer your questions.

My dad said basically the same thing. This was back in the 1970s, and it was a common parental policy back then.

I was able to make something out of myself. However, my dad then (years later) had the audacity to try to take credit for my accomplishments, and didn't seem to like it when I would point out that most of my life's accomplishments happened long after I had left his house.

I was at home with both my parents from 18-21 , and then my father from 21-24. At 24 I had one of my then frequent stays in psych hospital, and from there went to a social services halfway house for the severely mentally ill. I was there for a few months before being transferred back to hospital. I was there for about 20 months. During that time my father took up a posting as British consul general in Atlanta and put the house up for sale. I came out of hospital with an older woman I'd clicked with. We married a few years later. I was completely unworldly wise and had to go through a learning process. Years on, I still have problems with adaptive functioning, but am much better than I was. I guess I've not done too bad as it's 36 years since I've been in psych hospital.

That makes a big difference. Most 18 year olds aren't financially independent. Mot 49 year olds are. Even if you're unemployed, you should at least know how to apply for welfare and get some cheap shared housing by your age. If not, now's the time to learn.