Why do I have less friends than others ?

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It does frustrate me when I see other people maybe I grew up with at school with Aspergers or autism that I'm 'friends' with online and they have close NT friends they hang out with and have gone out with them to nice places, concerts, parties, taking selfies with them. One of them is in a band with several NT band mates. It does make me quite jealous about it. It's a similar way as when I see other NT people on social media doing the stuff I mentioned.

It’s not the quantity of friends that’s most important—it’s the quality of friends.

I have very few friends.

What many of these people have is "acquaintances." True friends are difficult to find, ones who both share common interests and will stick by you in good times and bad. These people you describe sound very superficial.

Kraftiekortie is correct. True friends are small in number. Most people are "co-workers" or "people you know." Not that people aren't friendly or nice, but they aren't friends in the true and lasting sense of the word.

You know, you must be a twin brother of mine that I never knew about, because your Aspie problems seem to be EXACTLY like mine (I say twin because you're the same age as me!)
I've always felt other Aspies, or possible Aspies, in my life seem to be more involved in NT friends than me - and I mean NT friends they found THEMSELVES, not through some sort of befriending adventure club.
Sometimes my mum says that one of my cousins I'm rather close to may have an ASD, but I always say, "but she always had more friends than me in school", and my mum's like "well, everyone is different". I know that, but with the nature of Asperger's being a social communication disorder, surely it can get in the way of being able to make friends with your NT peers and getting close enough to be invited over sleepovers and hanging out and all the other normal kid/teenage stuff.
I always got so horribly rejected through school life, and I was always told by adults that it was because of having Asperger's. But it seems that some Asperger's people meet people of their age, like at work, and then they get invited out. Me? - it doesn't happen. I don't try too hard, but I still make an effort to be friends, but to no avail. It's depressing.

I have a few friends, but they don't know each other (so it's not like a group of friends), and they are not NTs. Well, I'm not sure about one of them who is a lot older than me; she seems to have lots of ADHD traits but not sure if that counts as NT or not. But my other friends have either autism spectrum disorders, Fragile-X or downs syndrome, which don't count as NTs in my book.

Self-pity is a great thing to make yourself nasty. If you want friends then learn to stay positive and learn to make eye contact.

It is not your fault that you have less friends, Brother Chris.

In fact, "real friends" are becoming harder to find and keep.

Eye contact is extremely difficult for many of us. For some it is downright painful.

It is possible to make friends without eye contact if you can find people who accept non-standard body language.

Making friends with people who have bad eye problems also works; they tend to not to be able to tell if you're making proper eye contact or not. ^^

How do you know the OP doesn't make eye contact? Not all Aspies lack eye contact, and also I make eye contact but that doesn't win me lots of friends.

Exuding confidence.....or at least not showing that you lack confidence....is a key to establishing rapport with people.

Being available to do things like help somebody move.....or doing the lottery together....also helps.

Autism is a spectrum disorder, and as such it affects people differently, and to differing degrees. It's not inconceivable that your cousin could have asperger's, even if she has more friends than you. The fact that you were diagnosed in childhood (if I recall correctly), and she hasn't been diagnosed just means that if she does have aspergers, she's probably got a more mild form than you. It would make sense to me that there would be a correlation between how early someone is diagnosed with autism, and the degree to which they're affected by autism.

As someone who was diagnosed in childhood, I wouldn't be surprised by someone diagnosed in adulthood, or by someone who is undiagnosed being more socially adept than me, despite both of us having asperger's. As a matter of fact, if it was the other way around, that would probably be surprising.

Chris

There are a lot of factors involved

Some of them are outside your control

Just because you don't have a lot of friends, doesn't mean you are bad or wrong

Strangers on the internet do not have enough information to answer the question in the title of the post. Nor the authority to fix the alleged problem


Having said that, someone else's life is not always as great as Facebook makes it look

You are aware of the difference between women and men if it comes to this? But may be I should have explained the reasons of it ro him.

I was often enough in the clubs. Straight guys of all ages between 18 and 50 did like me and wanted me to join their groups and to drink with them despite my age. NTs feel empathy and for this they care a lot about body language. (Women even more than men.) It depends on you and how you are whether they feel positive or negative towards you.
Guys who prevent eye contact completely seem dishonest and suspect. Guys who have a bad mood are expected to cause trouble. If guys start eye contact with a bad mood then they are expected to become agressive. For this keep a good mood and let them realize that you are into fun. Always do at least a short initial eye contact instead of preventing it. Their empathy causes them to like you as long as you keep a good mood if doing so. Who dislikes guys who stay nice and are into fun? But for sure does nobody like whiny guys who are into self-pity only. Do you like yourself if you are this way?

I have thought about this long and hard and have come to the conclusion it is likely because I don't fit into any neat personality or stereotype:

I am too weird to be normal but too normal to be weird.
I am somewhat geeky but not enough to fit into that subculture.
I am somewhat nerdy but not enough to relate to nerds.
I am into sports but am not a stereotypical jock in any way.
I am gentle and good with kids and seniors but I also have a loud voice and a nasty temper.

Honestly I have come to believe I am too hard to figure out in this modern world where people make snap judgements without really getting to know people. I don't know if this applies to OP or anyone else but that has been my experience.