Why do we still care about looks during crises

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lvpin
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02 May 2020, 8:29 pm

I'm not quite sure if this is the right place to post it but I did want to have an opinion on this from my fellows on the spectrum. During lockdown I see a lot of posts on social media and hear a lot of complaints from people about weight gain and I myself am not immune to this. I have tried my best to stay fit and healthy (part of my anxiety disorder revolves around how I look to the point it affects my life and ability to go outside) and even have lost some weight. People are also getting overly dressed on the rare occasion that they do go outside. I have done the same. However we are currently in a pandemic so I would have thought there would be no space to even worry about looks with everything that is going on. It's not that (at least in my case) people don't also care about what is happening, it hit me a couple of days ago after seeing the people in hospital that numbers are lives and I almost cried on realising everything that has been lost. Yet, somehow at the same time there is space in our heads to worry about presentation?

In normal situations I understand as how you look can affect how you are treated and perceived by others. According to my research (it is a special interest of mine) how attractive you are can actually have quite a big impact on your day to day life. There is also the fact that some people worry about being judged by others if they do not present a certain way. However this obviously doesn't explain everything. Even in prisons women secretly make make up.

Why do you think that people still care about looks during times like these? I find that those of us on the spectrum tend to analyse people a lot so thought there may be some interesting insights. In addition to this I would like to know if any of you have personally found this happen to you as well or did you either never care in the first place or hardly think of it now. Thank you :)



ToughDiamond
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02 May 2020, 8:48 pm

I think a lot of it is just habit. It's not all that logical. I suppose women are more in the habit of putting a lot of effort into "looking attractive," so you might find women more likely to keep to such routines. And anybody feeling weird because of the strange situation we're all in might be getting some relief by doing things they normally do.

Not everybody lives alone either, and if they don't, then they're not exactly invisible. I wouldn't want to start looking too feral in case my wife stops feeling attracted to me.

But weight gain could be more rational, because sooner or later they'll let us out again and it can be hard to lose weight. And weight can be related to health - if I got obese then I'd likely be shortening my life no matter who saw me.



IsabellaLinton
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02 May 2020, 8:49 pm

I'm older than you so maybe my priorities are different, but I haven't experienced what you're saying. I've lost weight because I spend so much time cleaning everything 24 hours a day and although I have enough food I haven't binged on anything. I'm on my feet making homemade meals with frozen meat and veg rather than getting restaurant delivery. I was hoping that most people have realised hair salons and fitness memberships aren't essential, and that there are much simpler ways to bring joy and meaning into our lives. Most people I've seen online are happy with their pared-back lifestyle (beyond the worries about their jobs or their health, of course).


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hurtloam
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03 May 2020, 12:09 am

Because we like to feel good about ourselves. No one sees us, but we still see ourselves in the mirror.

Putting on weight is uncomfortable. Your clothes don't fit right anymore. It's not just about how people see you, it's about how you feel.

I miss my fitness club. I enjoy the classes. They make me feel good. It's not the same exercising at home.

I miss going to coffee shops too. Yes, I can have coffee and sit and read at home, but it's good to have nice places to go. It's good to have variety.

I think it's a but much dismissing places that make people feel good as unessential.

I'm still working. I don't have time to clean all day and cook. I'm just as exhausted as I always was and now my house is my workplace and there's no indoor places to go now to get away. I have been going for walks every few days.



starkid
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03 May 2020, 12:55 am

Many uninfected people's day-to-day lives aren't reflecting the seriousness of the pandemic very much. We are sitting home and still doing regular stuff aside from going out, so individually we don't really have anything serious to take our minds off our looks even though the pandemic is serious for society as a whole.

For the people who aren't sick and don't have a sick loved one, especially if they aren't hurting from lack of income, it's mostly the possibility of infection that is serious, not our current situation.

Also for some people continuing to live a regular life is a good way to cope with a situation like this. And since people our out of work/school, they may have extra free time to focus on their appearance.



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03 May 2020, 3:13 am

Why would anyone think that gaining weight was a problem just because of looks? 8O

Too much weight gain is a health risk. And in these times when so many people are financially unstable, it's a financial risk as well since if your stomach gets bigger, you'll need more food to feel satisfied and that means more money will go to the food. If you gain a lot of weight, you'll have to buy new clothes too since the old ones won't fit.

As for dressing well, some people enjoy it. So many things that people enjoy are limited now, so why not come up with new ways to entertain onself, ways that are allowed?



Dear_one
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03 May 2020, 3:17 am

Maintaining esthetics is no stranger than many hobbies people use to pass the time now, and it can be important for self-image. Also, it may be important if you do get sick. Antonio Gaudi, the famous architect, was in workmen's clothing when hit by a trolley, and was not cared for in time to save his life. I had a broken thumb, and in order to get a coat over the cast, I cut the end of the sleeve off an old one. Wearing a shabby coat probably ruined my chances of getting good treatment.



ToughDiamond
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03 May 2020, 9:29 am

hurtloam wrote:
Because we like to feel good about ourselves. No one sees us, but we still see ourselves in the mirror.

Something in that. Ideologically I'm the first to critique what I see as overblown, ableist mainstream self-puffery, but I can't claim to be entirely untouched by the same thing - I can't stand thinking that I look like a slob, and I think that would be true even if everybody else in the world was dead. But I suppose it could still be argued that it's nothing more than pure habit. Most of us are very accustomed to a world in which we will be judged on superficial appearance, a world which won't give us a chance if we don't toe the line. We internalised it long ago and we're bound to have a conditioned reflex - look in the mirror, feel good or bad depending on whether what we see there conforms to the visual aesthetics that the sheeple follow, and judge ourselves as somehow better or worse people as a result. It can't be in our DNA to be this way. Mirrors and cameras haven't been around that long.



lvpin
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03 May 2020, 10:01 am

Fireblossom wrote:
Why would anyone think that gaining weight was a problem just because of looks? 8O

Too much weight gain is a health risk. And in these times when so many people are financially unstable, it's a financial risk as well since if your stomach gets bigger, you'll need more food to feel satisfied and that means more money will go to the food. If you gain a lot of weight, you'll have to buy new clothes too since the old ones won't fit.

As for dressing well, some people enjoy it. So many things that people enjoy are limited now, so why not come up with new ways to entertain onself, ways that are allowed?


I don't think it's the only reason it's a problem, especially as someone who has additional anxiety over weight due to most of my family getting diabetes, including my grandma who is thinner than I. In my family you are in danger even if you are only a little bit overweight at an older age. In addition most of the people I see doing this are within a healthy range even with a little weight gain so at that point it is cosmetic. I don't think it's particularly logical but it is what it is.

But also ur point on trying to enjoy what u can when your options are limited makes sense.



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03 May 2020, 10:09 am

It is not so much that I care about my appearance to others during Quarantine; it's that I feel better when I get dressed as if I'm going out, even though I'm staying home.

Also, Mrs. Fnord signed me up with one of those weight-loss diet programs for the duration.  The food's not bad, but it's only about 1000 calories per day.  I'm on day 9...


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03 May 2020, 10:28 am

I shave and dress up after work and gardening to maintain a daily routine. I find I get more done if I can maintain a structured lifestyle. I've spent about $200 on new clothes since working from home. Typically known as "retail therapy."



hurtloam
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03 May 2020, 12:14 pm

To be honest if I didn't have daily video conference calls for work I wouldn't bother putting any makeup on... even then I'm only putting concealer and a light dusting of mineral powder foundation on to cover my patchy skin. I'm not wearing mascara unless is a special occasion zoom

I put nice shirts on but I'm wearing scruffy old Jeans



kraftiekortie
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03 May 2020, 12:29 pm

Simply because it makes me feel good to be clean after a shower.



Skilpadde
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03 May 2020, 1:08 pm

lvpin wrote:
or did you either never care in the first place or hardly think of it now

Never cared in first place. As long as my clothes are reasonably clean and I'm not smelly, I don't care. I've never worn make up in my life and never will put that crap on, and I wear clothes that are comfy to me. If peeps dislike something about my looks, tough luck. I'm not here to satisfy them.


As for enjoying myself, all the options I'd go for without the pandemic are still available.


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lostonearth35
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03 May 2020, 1:11 pm

I didn't care about wearing make up or wearing frilly dresses before the pandemic and I'm not about to now. Why any woman spends hours putting on makeup and picking out a dressy non-functional outfit to do her grocery shopping is a mystery to me. Most people are too busy going their about their own insignificant lives to even notice you.



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03 May 2020, 2:42 pm

The solar system contains seven billion

You are just one

You can only do so much about Coronovirus. You could stay home and wear a mask.

You can't invent a cure for coronovirus

Many jobs lost because Coronovirus

Newly unemployed have more time to waste

You can only waste so much time on job hunting

Especially now, there are more applicants competing for fewer jobs (supply and demand)

The coronovirus is something better to worry about than, your weight

But the world always contains something better to worry about than your weight

Politics

Diseases, wrongfully imprisoned, felonies, financial, whatever

Different people worry about different things

Different people find different things :ninja: important :heart:

Vanity is just part of it

Some people get treated better or worse because of their appearance

Emotional overeating

Long lines for groceries

Some things sold out

Quarantine

Makes some customers want to hoard groceries

Dealing with change, fear, isolation, the unknown

Different schedule

Worrying about diseases