Mental Health Stigma.

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To be honest, in my case this did not play a huge rold except that maybe I was not able to speak to doctors to ask to be assessed due to mindblank, because maybe I was getting mindblank because of the stigma? I don't know. But I dont think it was this. I think it was more that I just did not realize what autism actually was. I would have been assessed a LONG time ago if I did. BUT, then earlier in life I was doing all I could to try to act normal and not be found out that I was not normal, so I would have probably lied to my own thoughts and reasonings to reason myself out of it (If that makes sense?) as I did not want to draw attention to myself. I was dead quiet (Which made it so I was more hidden... A comment by teachers to my parents was Oh. I dis not know he was there! ).
But, I had a grandmother on my Dads side who really cared what people think about you. I mean.. She went overboard in this way. We were told by her, and actually my own parents "Never mention anything to your doctor about mental health or you will be locked away for ever and never allowed out"... And actually they had good reason because in their generation, they may have known the odd person from their village or the next town or village where this happened to some poor soul, as that is how they dealt with people back then, or like my other grandmother who was in a medicated trance most of her life as she had issues with her nurves and it was the days when doctors believed in "Miracle cures" due to the pills they gave. My mothers and her sisters lives were that they had to take themselves to school and back which was quite a journey as their Mum just wasn't with it. She was zoned out. She was a nurvous lady who looking back was VERY LIKELY to have been on the spectrum. She managed after years of trying to get herself off the medication, moved from England to Wales (My grandad found a new job in Wales) and visited the doctors here who put her back on these purple heart pills when the manufacturer changed the name of the medication, so she didn't realize, and foe years she became addicted again until she finally got off them and became herself again. (Much later in life doctors put her on them again under yet another name. By then we realized they were known as the purple heart pills.
Anyway...
My grandparents and parents had good reason to tell us "Never tell a doctor anything about ones mental health".
To be honest, to this day my doctors know very little other then I am awaiting an autism assessment. The local autism team know a lot kore about me but they don't know that much yet. But they were the first to agree wirh me that the events I was expetiencing sounded very much like shutdowns but rhey said they wanted to wait to assess me to be sure as they didn't want to jump ahead of me being assessed. Fair enough.
The stigma, and the fear of the past where doctors had turned my Mums mother into a zombie (Ok, not quite a zombie but you get the gist) is probably why though my mother supports me 100%, she was a bit apprehensive of me going to the doctors to ask to be assessed. She was saying "It does not change who you are. Why do you eed to be assessed?" Though she, like me was concerned about my not being able to continue in work and had difficulty in staying in a job, and not been able to work full time for at least ten years (I left the last full time job in 2007 after what I now know to be a burnout (There were other reasons but the first burnout experience made me realize deep within that I had to quit the job. I did have other plans at that time involving self employment as I thought that being my own boss may avoid the possibility of a repeat burnout, but I failed to realize that me on my own wit the fear of answering the phone and the fear of dealing with customers (I was doing fine dealing with others when working for others as I wore an official work mask and had set rules I could keep to)...
But anyway. I wonder how much the stigma of mental health can prevent people from being assessed much earlier then they were?
I know for me that it may have influenced things in a tangentitive way, but for me, it was not knowing anything about autism except the "Severe cases" one sees via the news on TV. And as I would not be classed as a wheelchair boud severe case... It was wierd in that something inside me could identify with them, but somehow I never knew how, as all my bodily functions work etc... I am intelligent etc. Back then I dismissed it as I did not see the missing connection. (Though I am yet to be assessed. I may actually be a missguided NT! Haha! That woulf really, seriously puzzle me if I was as I would have to question everything all over again!).

Do you think the stigma about mental health prevented you from being assessed earlier? What can be done to change this?

In my case, no I don't think there was a stigma preventing earlier diagnosis. When I was an adolescent / teen I started to feel a lot of anxiety and depression but I assumed that was a normal part of growing up and feeling alienated. I didn't seek any treatment. When my grandfather killed himself on my 16th birthday my life went into a tailspin but my family also moved, and we were all grieving equally. Again I didn't seek therapy assuming I had a normal response to the tragedy. I did start seeing a psychiatrist in my late 20's and had diagnoses of Depression, Anxiety, Mutism, Agoraphobia, etc. I think I was treated fairly. (The psych lost his licence for sleeping with patients but that's another story and it didn't affect me). Following my trauma years in my 30's I received excellent psychiatric care from trauma psychiatry, trauma psychology, social workers, and psychiatric staff for Complex Trauma Disorder (C-PTSD). I was further supported for my Depression, Anxiety, Mutism and Agoraphobia by a number of specialists.

I didn't seek an Autism diagnosis until 2017, and I got my diagnosis within six months from a private Neuropsychologist, through my former Uni. I had no trouble receiving the diagnosis and my report is straight forward. This year I had private ADHD testing and that was straight forward to a diagnosis as well.

I wish the Autism and ADHD were identified earlier in my journey but I can't say that there was any stigma regarding mental health from any of my practitioners, except for one really outdated psychiatrist and the Emergency doctor who first examined me when I had a stroke. He treated me like I was crazy, but he was an idiot.

I've had difficulty with employers accommodating mental health issues, but not my personal doctors.

You don't talk about mental health to your doctors? Because they're women? I'm sorry I must have read your question wrong somehow. I thought you were asking if doctors were supportive of our mental health issues. I guess you are actually asking if there is a stigma attached to speaking up in the first place? In my case, again no. My GPs have always made mental health a priority during checkups, so they initiate the topic. Most of the time I would just start sobbing whether it was my intention to disclose or not; I couldn't hold my feelings back when they inquired. Then I got referred to the appropriate specialists. Post-trauma I was inpatient in hospital and again, the doctors came to me rather than me seeking them out.

The worst experiences I've had with doctors were with the ones I didn't know, such as hospital staff in other departments who don't deal directly with mental health. I've detailed some of those experiences with skibum when she asks about our treatment in A&E / Emergency.

Regarding family ... I have never discussed my mental health with my family because I'm mute. No one in my family talks about anything, let alone our deepest feelings. I don't think that pertains to stigma though. It's just the dysfunction of my family.

I'm sorry that you still feel a stigma and you haven't been comfortable to speak up with your doctors or family. It seems you've made great strides in the past year seeking PIP and an Autism assessment. Were you treated with disrespect in that process?

Uhmm. I didn't say that I would not talk about mental health because my doctors are women. I said I would not talk about my "Downstairs" department because my doctors are women.
I was saying that in the past I had it drummed into me not to talk about any mental condition with any doctor incase I would be taken and locked away, as years ago, in my grandparents time this would be done. I actually know a Christian man who is in his late 80's, and when he became a Christian many years ago, as there was a noticable change to his life and his wife and father in law did not understand it as they were traditional chapel where one does not express ones feelings or talk about ones Christian experience... Well, they called in the mental health services and he was taken away. He was there for a few weeks (I believe it was in the 1960's) and they eventually released him as they could not find anything wrong, and he happens to be the only person I know of who has an official certificate declaring him sane!

I'm so sorry. I tend to read quickly and I didn't catch the word "downstairs". Gotcha. Yes I do understand what you're saying and I sympathise with your concerns. There was certainly a stigma about mental health in the past (and unfortunately, for some people today). It's a valid issue. I was just answering your original question whether or not I think stigma prevented me from being diagnosed sooner. I suppose I was one of the lucky ones in regard to mental health because my doctors always made it very comfortable, even though the word Autism was never suggested.

I'm still very proud of you for the steps you've taken in the past year. You've come a long way in understanding yourself and expressing your experiences in words, which is a very challenging task for us all.

Isabella, are you literally medically mute?

It's Selective Mutism, but I call it mute because "selective" sounds like a choice. It's more like "Involuntary Mutism", at any random time.

MG, to answer your original question, I don't think that was the case with me. I believe that no one actually knew anything about Autism in "HFA" girls at the time. So no one knew what to look for or that there was anything neurologically or medically different about me. They just thought I was weird and and a weird personality and behavior issues.

Thank you.

I find that it is like a floodgate releasing. Once I found that I was not alone, and that there were people who understood me and where I was coming from, I found I felt a security in being able to ask questions, and by asking those questions and reading others experiences has enabled me to ask more questions and compare my experiences with others.
It may seem to some that I really suffer, but I am sheltered from suffering by having been raized in a good family, and also, I seem to have automatically found ways around things where it is only recently I have realized that I have done.
To me, the main issue I have had throughout my life as been the shutdowns. Having said that, in recent years after experiencing burnout after burnout every time I tried to work (I would push my way through to the last day though I would had in my notice when things got too much... I almost killed myself in doing this though! Trying to push through burnouts to be loyal to the last day). But this has been an experience only since about 2007 onwards. Prior to this, I did find the need to change jobs every couple of years as I felt the need to change when I could no longer keep up the masking.

But all these things. It is only looking back and analysing every part of my life that I can think of, that I have found all these things about myself, as it is not that I didn't know, but to me it was normal? For example. Masking. It was something I did and I did not realize that it was unusual. I thought everyone did it. In my mind I admired what I now know are NT's for their amazing masking abilities. It didn't occur to me that they were not masking. But I did not know the term masking... I just thought that they were somehow amazing to do what they do. It puzzled me when I was found at times to be classed as having a little ablve average intelligence, as how come I was, when I was not able to mask like everyone else was? (If that makes sense?)
Anyway. Yes. I think I joined about a year ago. Haha. Happy birthday to me!
But thanks Isabella. Yes. I have come a MASSIVELY long way to understanding myself.

I wasn't mute, but when I was in school, at times I just didn't talk. These days trying to get me to stop talking when I talk about something I like... HAHA!
I do get times when nurvous that I can't talk directly about things. Well. Mind blank. If I try to talk directly I can sometimes get mind blank. I believe from an early age (As I can't say when I first remember as there was not a defined moment) that when I was confident to talk, so it was about the age of eight onwards, though I was still very quiet... So really it was from my early to mid 20's onwards that I would properly talk without being percieved as being too shy.. Well. I had developed talking on tangents to talk round at angles and come back tound to the point I wanted to make from a different angle to be able to talk without hitting mind blank. It was so nartural that even I never knew I was doing it. I don't really remember when mind blank started as it was only when I visited doctors or hospitals or someone in athority that I noticed I had it. But looking back at the patterns of going off on tangents in order to communicate.. Well. I have been doing this for years. It is only recently that it came to me why I was doing this.
Well. Mind blank. It is not a feeling. It is when you go to say something and your mind just stops. You can't continue and think, unless you switch to talk about something else. Does this make sense? So if you have always had to compensate and talk in tangents then you don't know it is a thing?
What I find interesting is that I don't recall getting mind blank as I type but I type in the same ways as I talk, so the patterns of how I talk are copied by how I type because my mind has learned to think like this? Or adapted itself to think like this?
Don't forget, that I am often learning about myself as I type and this is partly why I type such lengthy posts.

Is interesting that it is different. It is sometimes not easy to comprehend differences.
For example. What I describe as mind blank. It could be something that everyone experiences but then how are some people always so direct in the way that they speak? As this would jot be possible if they had experienced mind blank.