I don't own a business, a house or a fancy car

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I do feel that at 30 I should really by now be running my own business, have a nice house and a nice car. I don't, I still live with parents, only work as a sales assistant, have a not-so-fancy ford fiesta and I don't feel the age I am and I feel I haven't achieved anything even I have spent a number of years planning and trying to write my own book but its been frustrating because I keep switching ideas and going back to the drawing board again. It feels at times like all I have done is just waste my time and failed it. It envies me when I hear and see people younger than me own their own businesses and it gives me this perception that is what you have to be doing by the age of 25 or 30.
I don't have instagram and I don't feel interested in taking any photos because I seem to think its just like facebook, I did it once, to make myself look interesting to other people and I felt it wasn't working at times and was getting very few likes and stuff so in the end I gave up posting photos.

Are you giving up or do you have a plan for action?

Hint: "If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail!" -- Benjamin Franklin

The saying, The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence" captures some of what we all fall victim to. We can see in other people something we envy without fully understanding their situation. For example, the effort people put in to run their own business often consumes them and their time such that their families are neglected. This can result in bitter regret in later years.

Another thing to consider is that we are all different. I was a substitute Sunday School teacher once. One of the girls complained about a boy that was acting up. My response was that if God had given him extra energy, it may be that he had extra work for him to do.

If you are not wired with the stamina, drive, and ambition to plow into the rough and tumble business world, it would probably be disastrous for you to attempt that for which you were not well equipped. Rather, finding your own path and happiness is true "success".

Attempting to live someone else's life and achieve their idea of success can be a recipe for disappointment, frustration, and unhappiness.

It feels like a bit of both, I plan something and then after a while I might decide to give up on that idea for something else, and then the same thing happens all over again.

So ... 'Giving up'?

Well I don't want to say that it is ''Giving up''.

I've been reminding myself of when I heard about Julius Caesar, at the age of 32 seeing a statue of Alexander the Great and feeling envious to the point of weeping because he realised that by his age, Alexander had conquered half the known world.

Neither do I. None of the people I know personally owns a fancy car. Houses and businesses require quite a lot of dedication, some people like it, some not.

Call it what it is -- Giving Up.By my age, Thomas Edison had over a thousand patents to his name, yet I am still happily employed as an Electrical Engineer.  Just because someone else is more successful than you, that does not mean your only action is to give up on yourself.

Last edited by Fnord on 01 Jul 2020, 9:05 am, edited 1 time in total.

Maybe it could be called giving up on one idea and moving up to another one? Sounds like trouble at focusing to me; I struggle with it, too. I can handle stuff that must be done just fine, which is why I don't get fired from my job and my home isn't a mess, but it's hard to stay organized with hobbies like writing. Usually, the best way for me to get something written if I've promised someone I'd write something, and even more so if I've set myself a timelimit. Not starting new projects no matter how much I'd like to is a good idea, too.

Most people in their 30s don’t own a business, a fancy car, or a house. Actually very few people own their homes outright until they are at least in their 50s.

I only own my apartment because my wife paid up the mortgage quickly.

You will feel better if you try to live your life based upon what you want to accomplish within your timeline, rather than what others have done. Set a reasonable life goal that you can achieve and strive hard to finish it before starting a different goal. I did this with my education. If you make the goals unreachable from the start, you will set yourself up for failure.

Having cool stuff (large house, expensive cars, etc.) is not as great as it may seem. Owning too much stuff can in turn start owning you, as you have to protect and watch over it until you tire of it. My sister is a classic case of the above as she has to spend her time split between her three houses or risk something happening to one of them. She thinks I am strange because I rent a very small, efficient apartment and try to live within my means, while she spends more in upkeep per month than what I pay for rent. Sometimes it is better to be on your own side of the fence.

You have not completely failed. You have a Ford Fiesta.
I never forget my Dad, when people tried to make fun of him for his yellow Reliant Regal Supervan 3. My Dad would say to them "But I own my vehicle. I do not own a penny. Do you own yours?" and often they went away humiliated as they had their shiny new cars on loans or hire purchase agreements.
So despite how it seems, you may actually be in a good position to those with huge mortgages and loans to pay off...
I do get where you are coming from. I am in the same position but with a Mitsubishi Colt instead. (I love my car though! It may now be an older design but I would not want to change it. Not even for a Rolls or a Ferrari! My little Mitsi is something special!)

I don't own a business, a house or a fancy car and I'm 45. I'm not complaining. I'm quite happy doing arts & crafts and listening to oldies all day.

I don't know many people our age or older that run their own business. My parents and their siblings never ran their own businesses and all had mediocre jobs like factory worker, shop assistant, cleaner, etc. They're all NTs.

And at least you have a car. I don't! I'm quite happy getting buses. And I may only be a part-time cleaner but I love my job.

Millions of men your age are shoeless, homeless, refugees, wrongly jailed, institutionalized, being ruined in divorce, terribly injured, sick, or dead. I had a business, and it ruined my life.