Today I wish to outsource and automate myself

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Blah.

I want to write a shell script that queries a database of contacts and repetitve social interactions. The script intergates with the telephone, e-mail, IM, and other communications. It parses through the database and using a set of business rules; make the apropriate communication happen. That way I can keep up the appearance of being semi-neurotypical while allowing me to indulge in 6 hours of geek time.

What I can't automate, I wish to outsource. Mindless self-mantaince tasks like cleaning, dishes, etc. Need to find an affordable outsourcing vendor.

It's a win-win. My NT friends and business associates don't get offended by me not communicating. I get quality time in front of a computer.

Um, marriage to a nice, sympathetic NT? Well, it works for me.

We've been married 11 (mostly easy) years. He stays home and cooks, cleans, manages all the social interactions, phone calls, birthday cards and insurance company idiocy. He gets to putter in the garden, go to the mall, clubs, and other horrible places that he actually enjoys, visit with his friends, etc.

I do what I'm good at; go to work and cut interesting and wonderful code and make money. I do the budgeting and bills, but I don't even know where the iron is. I play with my video games, computers and pets. And I actually enjoy his company, he's good at listening.

I feel very selfish and content, and amazingly, he does too.

How do you both go about doing this?

In the beginning it was very scary. Economically, I mean. I looked at different ways to live that gave us a balance of personal freedom and inuslarity that I need and were also relatively cheap compared to "normal" living. And that he was comfortable with, of course.

We decided to quit living in a house, and instead live in a 45+ ft camper. It's in a really nice place that actually is a "park" in reality, not just in name. It's much more freedom than in an apartment, and actually less expensive. Most of the year, the whole 180+ acres pretty much is only inhabited by 20 couples, and it's within reach of mass transit, but also in the country (woods and everything).

He's the kind of person that likes "stuff", like clothes and decorating. If I find a shirt I like, I buy 6 and they last me for the next 30 years . I buy books and things related to my latest obsession, which tend to be smallish things. All in all, though, if I have my toys, I don't spend a lot on other stuff. Storage could be a pain, but we rent space to keep some stuff and some gets left at the kid's houses.

It can be awkward at times (he's 6'6" and 300 lbs), a lot of person in a small space, but it's actually not bad. Especially when it's just us and the pets there.

I met him training dogs, and got to know him well then. He's a quiet, empathetic, person with very clear body language and almost no embarrasment at telling me what he's thinking and feeling instead of letting me wonder. He -- wonder of wonders -- doesn't want me any different to what I am.

Ashkelon:

You are speaking in past tense. I was speaking in present tense. Are you thinking you should keep your thoughts in some sort of special book, or just wait things out and analyze them?

I guess I read "go about" as "begin". Nothing special to making it work, day to day. The hard part was getting started. We both love the terseness and immediacy that living on a small scale like this brings. It keeps clear what is fine and desirable. We were just offered a house, and turned it down. Neither of us want to go back to a huge financial commitment.

I've been with my company for like 20 years. Husband gets me up and going in the morning, takes care of the dogs while I sort myself out and then takes me to work. I never could drive a car, but I do have a golf car that I drive around at home.

I work for 10-12 hours and he does his thing. I know it doesn't take him that long to do the actual house work, but that give him time to socialize, read, garden, shop or swim until it's time to get me. That's cool. It's a good thing to buy with my work And he also remembers to call all the relatives on special days, buy birthday presents and stuff. I never forget the dates, but often forget what day it is.

He comes to pick me up, and is pretty understanding with that if I'm focused I maybe will not come out until 45 mins. after he tells me he's here. I design and code web services, which fascinates me and I'm excited that I've got something to do for a living that I'd do on my own time.

Typically he makes supper while I play games or email, and then we swim and/or train and play with the dogs.

I handle the budgetting. It's not his strong point. He tends to spend more on impulse. It costs surprisingly little to live this way, and allows a fair amount for enjoyment.

Is that more what you want to know?

You must want your life with as little complications as possible. I'm glad you have decided to make many commitments aside from your budget. You have a routine going, you seem very happy with your life. Do you seem to know how to handle problems and think later on about how you should fix them?

I toyed with a similar idea (I'd write it in java and use xml for the databases and business rules). Probably I'd have it show me an abbreviated list of actions for the day, so I could scratch anything inappropriate. I've got some cool models for business rule profiles with overlays that dynamically invoke methods. Could do some good personalization with that.

For the rest, if seducing a handy NT doesn't work -- there's always the merry maids -- and paper plates, or better yet, take out.

Oh! Now, I understand.

Everyone has a different method of doing things. This is your way!

For the most part, routine and minimal complications are essential to me. I freak too badly if the flow gets really whacked. Jeff is good with hysterical and flappy and settles me down or at least gives me enough of a buffer that I can keep my sh*t together. The older I get, the worse I am about routine changes.

I love for my job to be complicated and demanding intellectually. Work is my haven against the real world.

Jeff just knows he can have things as random as he wants, as long as he can make it "normal" by the time I get home (or warn me so I have time to adjust).

I'm so much happier once I realized that the strange way my mind operates has a name and there are other people who experience varients on it and think along the way I do. And it has made it much easier at work, since for the first time I can give the people I work with a model for my behaviour that doesn't make me comprehensible, but at least explains a lot of what I need from them if we're going to work together.

Wow!

Routine = GOOD

By the by, HOWDY BitterGeek. Glad to see you on here.