Hello I'm new and this is my situation

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I believe someone I work with may have asperger's. I've been researching through the Internet and found some of the behaviors to lean towards asperger's. I'm looking to have a better understanding of this in hopes of being able to maybe adapt to some of the situations. I'll try to explain the situation in a nut-shell and will welcome any suggestions.

I work in a department store with about 50 employees. One day I noticed this guy talking with customers, smiling, etc. He was new, we spoke and had a nice conversation. After so many months, there was an opening in another department and he transferred. We often spoke again while he was in this department. After a while I had heard complaints from the other employees in the department. As one of the store managers, this confused me. I inquired and was told that he was too meticulous about putting out the stock. The employees that stock only have a limited amount of time to put the stock out, straighten it and move on. Unfortunately, he was taking up too much time in one area when the whole store had to be stock. Learning from our previous conversations he had attended college but was unable to finish, I put in a request for him to be move into one of my areas- Returns, - because of his background in finance. He learned this position fairly quickly but within a few months things started getting a bit strange. I never noticed this in our previous conversations but when he speaks, it's monotone with no inflections and he's told me before when I speak it sounds like I'm singing. He wants things to be done in repetition and when something on his work space gets changed, he flips out a little. I noticed soon after that when I would go to lunch and he saw me, he would have a strange grin on his face, and begin to wave. This went on for a couple of week until I started leaving the building a different way. Then he began buying me gifts. He's in his mid 40's and I'm in my mid 50's, married but seperated. I go to college, so he purchased a pack of pens and a notepad. He said he wanted me to start my school year off right. I said thanks and went back to my department. The next week he bought me coffee. I said thanks again. At this point I wasn't sure what was going on. Within the next several weeks, I get another bag of coffee and this time I kindly said no thanks. As his boss I felt it was a nice jesture but something wasn't right. On another occasion, I had noticed his car tire was going flat. I let him know so he wouldn't have any problems at the end of the night. I would have told any employee, but when I told him he began to blush and grin. I kindly said that I would have told any employee their tire was going flat and he said he through he was special. I noticed too that when I visited his department throughout his shift he would ask me questions. What kind of food do I eat, what type of music do I listen too. After telling him my favorite pizza was mushroom, he made a special pizza for me the next day "mushroom"! Another occasion I had promised my daughter I'd take her to the local craft fair which was hosted in his city. He has asked me what time I would be going. Unknowing why he ask me, I replied I didn't know probably sometime after lunch. My daughter and I went, looked and left in less than 1 hour. The next day at work, he said he had seen me at the craft fair and he was waving and waving but I never saw him. He proceeded to tell me where he was sitting and how close in proximity I was to him. I actually didn't see him and just blew it off and said there were too many people. Now I hesitate to answer any personal questions regarding my personal life. because the info I give out isn't meant to be acted upon. One day he had noticed I was wearing different glasses and he asked if they were new. I said yes but my "real" glasses will be ready next week but I had been hopping for blue contact lenses ( I have brown eyes). Well to say the least he kind of freaked out, gave me this over exaggerated GASP and said NO.....you have beaut...I cut him off because I felt the word "beautiful" coming out his mouth and I changed the subject. It's not just with the eyes, he's been making comments about my hair, the color, the cut. He's even gone as far as to tell me on one occasion that he didn't like the color I had used on my hair but liked the color I used perviously. I became offended and told him that was a matter of opinion and I was pleased with my color. And now anytime I'm in his department and I make a "sigh" or "sniff" with my nose, he runs over to me and kinda gets in my face and ask me if I am ok. This has been going on for months now and as his boss, I'm at a loss. I'm trying to "nip" each situation in the bud as it occurs. There have been times where I had to speak firm with him for not following company policy but I don't think I'm getting through to him. It's like he's not reading my facial expressions and even speaking firm to him, I get a blank stare. I don't want to hurt his feelings but I don't know what to do. There has been several nights when we just happen to leave work at the same time. We both go the same direction for so many miles and then our paths part. One afternoon I had to mail a letter and turned off ahead of where I would normally turn off, he turned his car around to look for me, came back and asked what I was doing. I said I was mailing a letter. There are other situations that I find strange but it's like in his eyes we are a couple of some sort and he has the right to inquire about me, my life, my likes, dislikes and voices his opinion about it.
Anyway, ty for reading this post. If he has aspergers, how do I deal with each of these situations. I've made comments to him before that I am married although I didn't say to him I was seperated.

It sounds possible that he has Aspergers, but it is not possible to say much more without him taking an assessment test or going for a diagnosis. I too have a few co-workers that seem to fit the diagnosis (as I suspect do I), but can't get them to take a test and tell me the results, so I don't know either. One of the people I suspect of having it is in his late 40's and has similar rigid patters of behavior, as well as odd speech patterns.

TY for your answer. I want to be friendly with him but I feel like the attempts will be misinterpreted. Based on my previous friendlyness to him, I believe he's taking this to mean more than just being friendly. I know you're correct, that without a diagnoises, there's not much that can be said, but I was just looking for suggestions on how to handle everything because it's getting a bit out-of-hand. There are more things that have happened but after reading what I wrote, I felt bad but my goal is to help or adapt or reroute the situation. I was speaking about the monotone. There were times when a customer had left their package and he "yelled" so loud that it stopped every customer in the store. I seriously don't think he realized just how loud he had yelled. He's told me before that loud noises really get on his nerves and he has a bad habit of trying to go fast to catch up which he makes more mistakes. Unfortnately he doesn't take blame well and finds a logical reason why the blame belongs to another person. Finally one day my boss just flat out said, you screwed up. A few days afterwards, he mentioned that our boss had left for the day. I told him no, he was still at work,probably in the back. A few seconds passed and in a really low monotone voice I heard, "it was a mistake, I made a mistake". This caught me off guard and I tried to figure out why he had said this. It kind of didn't fit the situation. Anyway, ty for answering.

I'm not exactly sure how to help with your situation, other than to be -very direct-, very blunt. Whether he has Asperger's or not, if he isn't noticing your hints, you need to stop giving hints and start being blunt. Tell him he's bothering you, tell him how, tell him why, etc. - and tell him to stop. Tell him it's very inappropriate, or whatever you need.

TY Atomsk, I think you're right. I've just never been in this situation before where I had to be blunt. Under normal circumstances I can give an employee clear direction and it's followed, but with him I kinda have to micro manage information. I want to be friendly with him as I am with other co-workers and I have an outgoing personality. In my position I try to be a positive force in their lives and I'm always open to talk with any employee whether work or non-work related. I don't think he has many friends and only works and goes back home. Just a few days ago, when I arrive at work I usually hit the road running, he stopped me briefly to tell me he had a dream about me and him and then proceeded to say how much he enjoys working with me and appreciates me. I just said thank you, but honestly wasn't sure what to say. I was just looking for any suggestions on how to speak to him ( as you've suggested) without hurting his feelings. Unfotunately I think you're right.

I can't speak for him but if it were me in the same place I would think OP was friend material; I fail so badly at romantic prospects that I need that particular interest in me spelled out.

I've given small gifts to people I enjoy being around, I cook for them to show one of my interests off a little. My MO with gift giving in hopes of an express interest is to not push it if I don't receive any positive feedback, more often I curtail my contact with them. Again if this was me, as soon as I heard the word 'married' I'd jump away as though I just opened the door to a burning building. I'm as apt to do so if my job performance were called into question

From this side of the spectrum, explicit and literal brings out my best efforts. The only hints I can take are the ones written in manuals. Throw tact into the mix and you have fullness of win

TY 2 wheels, I enjoyed reading your post.
I don't necessarily see a problem giving gifts to close friends when there's an occasion or when you're good friends, but we only work in the same store. Although in the last few months, when he makes a remark for ex. about my hair cut, I just say Ok and turn and walk away. I did of course nip one situation in the bud several wks ago. I bumped into a small trash can and he ran over to me and asked if I were ok. I looked at him and kindly ask why? do you think something is wrong with me. Do you think I"m an invalid? I went on to say I'm independent and not co-dependent. He said, Oh I say that to everyone and he's sorry it annoys me and I said "you say this even when I sniff". He laughed and said he didn't, and I said Oh yes you do. So far, 3 weeks and that situation's been fixed. I plan on speaking with him next time I'm back at work. I'm going to be explicit, blunt if necessary and to the point. I"ll explain that as his Manager and he being a subordinate, that's it's not appropriate buying gifts, telling me about his dreams of us, and paying attention to me, my eyes, hair, my likes, dislikes, etc because it creates a poor work performance oh his behalf. I'll try to explain that these behavior patterns are usually reserved for when he has a girlfriend and I am a married woman. That's pretty much it in a nutshell. I guess I already knew this was going to happen, I just needed some reinforcement. TY

I spoke with the guy from work but not without letting the higher up boss know what was going on ahead of time. My boss felt the same as I did, it's time to have a chat to let this guy know it needs to stop. I was a bit nervous, but explained, to the point that he's doing things and saying things to me at work that I find inappropriate for an employee to say their their Boss. I used the example of him having a dream about me and him, that I felt uncomfortable about him having told me about this and he said he has weird dreams of all of the people at work. I said yeah, but it's not a good idea to tell your boss. He said he had already had a dream about the big boss and told him too. So I proceeded to let him know about all of the things I felt he shouldn't be saying but he only focused on 2 situations that happened. It's like he didn't acknowledge the other situations that had occured. He only focused on the "gift giving situation" and him always asking "if I'm ok". He didn't really acknowledge the other issues as I explained it made me feel uncomfortable. I made it clear that I am married and seperated and I don't have any interest in dating anyone at this time in my life, that I'm focused on my children and no guy will be involved. I kept asking if he understood what I was saying/meaning and I'd reword what I was saying he I felt he didn't understand. Anyway...maybe this will solve this mystery and we can have a better boss/employee work relationship.