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Jonny
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01 Aug 2007, 7:07 pm

I just met some new people who I thought were pretty cool. They were total geeks, liked hobbies and subjects I was kinda interested in too. But I still found it difficult to hold a convo with them.

I notice the NT traits in them though, they mix a lot of geeky convo with humour and general small talk banter. Something I cannot do myself. When I speak I often speak in very small sentances and very very serious and intense. And I think people find it hard to respond to me. I think I come across has monotonous and boring.

If I cant get on with geeks, then what good am I? Life is so tough. I wish I was not cursed with AS.

I'm seriously thinking about studing the art of conversation and do it the logical and aspie way and kinda fake myself in acting NT.



Last edited by Jonny on 02 Aug 2007, 1:44 am, edited 1 time in total.

Amarikah
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01 Aug 2007, 7:14 pm

My advice:

Learn how to articulate, even if you sound incredibly brainy. It's better than nothing.
Listen to your own voice for a while, does it have variance in tonality? Try to add variance when you can, when it's proper, if you can tell.
Above all, observe. Observe and watch as best as you can. It took me eleven years to understand most facial expressions and how to use them.



alex
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01 Aug 2007, 7:18 pm

Amarikah wrote:
My advice:

Learn how to articulate, even if you sound incredibly brainy. It's better than nothing.
Listen to your own voice for a while, does it have variance in tonality? Try to add variance when you can, when it's proper, if you can tell.
Above all, observe. Observe and watch as best as you can. It took me eleven years to understand most facial expressions and how to use them.


qft


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2ukenkerl
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01 Aug 2007, 7:47 pm

I was SHOCKED when people casually referred to me as a geek, and they did it n a COMPLIMENTARY way!

Any real geek should be happy to talk with someone intelligent that likes their interests, especially if the geeks learn something.

Getting rid of monotonous speech, and speaking with larger sentences and using the right terms will get you far, but interest/knowledge is also key.

Steve



Mishcana
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01 Aug 2007, 9:56 pm

Fun exercise for learning facial expressions: Look up how to draw facial expressions in anime, try to draw them and emulate them.

As for not fitting in with geeks: Chances are, they don't feel you came off as badly as you think you did. Most geeks, even NT ones, are pretty forgiving of shyness. Take your time and go slow.

Studying conversation in an aspie logical way is usually a good thing, and acting is a great way to learn something - it's like roleplaying to prepare for an interview. Eventually, it becomes a little easier.



Jonny
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02 Aug 2007, 1:46 am

Thanks guys.

Actually sometimes I get too excited about something and I just spit out a wall of words which don't make sense either. I will try to practice to speak more slowly with intonations.



blackcat
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02 Aug 2007, 3:09 am

Jonny wrote:
I just met some new people who I thought were pretty cool. They were total geeks, liked hobbies and subjects I was kinda interested in too. But I still found it difficult to hold a convo with them.

I notice the NT traits in them though, they mix a lot of geeky convo with humour and general small talk banter. Something I cannot do myself. When I speak I often speak in very small sentances and very very serious and intense. And I think people find it hard to respond to me. I think I come across has monotonous and boring.

If I cant get on with geeks, then what good am I? Life is so tough. I wish I was not cursed with AS.

I'm seriously thinking about studing the art of conversation and do it the logical and aspie way and kinda fake myself in acting NT.





Sorry but......IT'S OSAKA!! !! sorry... :oops:


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Jonny
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02 Aug 2007, 3:54 am

blackcat wrote:
Jonny wrote:
I just met some new people who I thought were pretty cool. They were total geeks, liked hobbies and subjects I was kinda interested in too. But I still found it difficult to hold a convo with them.

I notice the NT traits in them though, they mix a lot of geeky convo with humour and general small talk banter. Something I cannot do myself. When I speak I often speak in very small sentances and very very serious and intense. And I think people find it hard to respond to me. I think I come across has monotonous and boring.

If I cant get on with geeks, then what good am I? Life is so tough. I wish I was not cursed with AS.

I'm seriously thinking about studing the art of conversation and do it the logical and aspie way and kinda fake myself in acting NT.





Sorry but......IT'S OSAKA!! !! sorry... :oops:


:lol:

Are you referring to my post or just my avatar?



Kelsi
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02 Aug 2007, 7:21 am

Jonny wrote:
I'm seriously thinking about studing the art of conversation and do it the logical and aspie way and kinda fake myself in acting NT.


It worked for me!
Learning how to act NT is an essential survival strategy in this NT world. Think of it as a game - camouflage and hide from the Social Police when they are on the prowl.

Sometimes I pretend I'm a spy from an alien planet, and my mission is to blend in with the natives and learn as much about them as possible, without being exposed :) .



Mishcana
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02 Aug 2007, 10:18 am

Jonny wrote:
Thanks guys.

Actually sometimes I get too excited about something and I just spit out a wall of words which don't make sense either. I will try to practice to speak more slowly with intonations.


I hate it when I do that, too >.<. I find taking a breath before speaking - if I remember to, helps.



SilverProteus
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02 Aug 2007, 5:30 pm

Kelsi wrote:
Sometimes I pretend I'm a spy from an alien planet, and my mission is to blend in with the natives and learn as much about them as possible, without being exposed :) .


LOL that's a good one :lol: . And they say that people on the spectrum don't have an imagination! :wink:



Pugly
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02 Aug 2007, 7:51 pm

I hang out in my University's CS lab, and I can't really relate and interact with the other CS nerds. We may have many things in common, but the conversation doesn't excite me that much.

I usually just sit there doing my own thing, when some one says something I find amusing I'll crack a smile.

Whenever there is an established social clique, it's always very difficult for me to get along.

I much prefer getting along with people one on one...


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2ukenkerl
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02 Aug 2007, 9:22 pm

SilverProteus wrote:
Kelsi wrote:
Sometimes I pretend I'm a spy from an alien planet, and my mission is to blend in with the natives and learn as much about them as possible, without being exposed :) .


LOL that's a good one :lol: . And they say that people on the spectrum don't have an imagination! :wink:


GEE, DON'T WE ALL????



etg1701
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03 Aug 2007, 8:58 am

I know the feeling, since I've been in similar situations (online at least). The problem for me was their odd, and rather regressive sense of humor; they told a lot of racist and sexist jokes and I would take them literally and get into arguments.

Quote:
If I cant get on with geeks, then what good am I? Life is so tough. I wish I was not cursed with AS.


Quite, at least we can agree on that much.



richardbenson
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04 Aug 2007, 5:14 am

i would just try your best. if everything else fails, you always have whatever you like to comfort you. its happend to me, since ive been outta school ive had little contact with anyone let alone geeks. something, or someone (im sure god) will always be my friend.
:wink:


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Jonny
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04 Aug 2007, 5:45 pm

Pugly wrote:
I hang out in my University's CS lab, and I can't really relate and interact with the other CS nerds. We may have many things in common, but the conversation doesn't excite me that much.

I usually just sit there doing my own thing, when some one says something I find amusing I'll crack a smile.

Whenever there is an established social clique, it's always very difficult for me to get along.

I much prefer getting along with people one on one...


You've just described exactly how it is for me.

Richard, you are right as long as I have my health and my hobbies I would be happy. But when I am with people I try so hard to get along with them it bothers me for the rest of the week.