Do I have AS?

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Hi, I'm Sarah. I'm 19, and I've always known that there was something different about me. My mom told me recently that my family has been researching AS for some time now and has been looking into specialists so we can figure out what's going on with me. I had never heard of Asperger's before, so I started doing some research, and now I'm completely obsessed with the idea. Reading about the symptoms of AS made me feel totally relieved that there are other people like me. Now I can't wait to go talk to a specialist about it.

The only thing is, could I be jumping the gun? Am I just looking for an explanation? I don't think I could handle the let down.

I've always had trouble socially, but I always put it off on the fact that I had skipped a grade. I skipped Kindergarten and tested in the 99th percentile of everything when I was 5. Since then, though, I've done a terrible job in school, mainly because I just don't seem to care. I graduated high school at 16 and then went to college for a year and a half, and now I'm home again taking a break because I was put on academic probation.

I have serious problems with anxiety. I used to give myself bladder infections in school because I was too worried about having to walk in front of the class to go to the bathroom. I'm still like that too, I pretty much hate doing anything that makes me feel like I'm on the spot or something. I'm also a nervous wreck when I drive, which is why I'm 19 and still don't have my licence. I know that I need to be able to drive and can't rely on other people my whole life, but for some reason I just can't.

I still don't know a whole lot about AS, but I've been researching it as much as I can. Does anyone have any kind of advice for me or any other symptoms/ways I can tell if I have it? I hope I'm not just being a hypochondriac.

Thanks!
Sarah

You don't say enough to say, but some of it sounds like it COULD be AS. The rest could spring from it. You would have to say more, but that coupled with the fact that your family suspects, I would say you AREN'T jumping the gun.

Steve

Yeah, I realized after I posted that I didn't really put enough examples in there.

I'm generally pretty shy, but when I'm comfortable with someone I get kinda clingy and tend to not shut up, even if the other person can't hear me or walks away.

I get obsessed with foods, movies, music, etc. For example, I'll watch the same movie over and over every day for like a month or so, until I move on to another one. I also stay on the computer too much, playing solitaire over and over until my contacts get so dry I can't stand it anymore.

I'm a housekeeper at a hotel and have the same exact routine in every room I clean. I do everything the same way, in the same order, and if I have to do something new or change something, it completely throws me off until I find a way to work it into my schedule.

I don't know about stims or meltdowns though. I do pop my fingers all the time, clench my jaw when I'm nervous, bite my lips when I'm trying to focus, bounce my legs, play with my hair, talk/sing to myself, and when I'm really tired, I rock myself to sleep or rub my feet together until I fall asleep. As far as meltdowns, I sometimes get angry easily. If my mom or someone jokes around with me relentlessly when I'm in a bad mood, I'll lash out. If I can't do something on a small scale with my hands, like threading a needle or something, I'll get so incredibly angry I want to throw things and I'll start shaking and have to walk away for a bit.

Maybe these are better examples? I'm sure there are plenty of other examples that are slipping my mind right now.

Looks like you either have AS or something extremely similar.

Many of the examples you describe are definitely close to AS. You lack of meltdowns are probably irrelevant, It's extremely rare for someone to have all the symptoms or AS, you got lucky enough to avoid one of the more nasty ones.

sounds like you have a very supportive family! grats!

hopefully you can find a good professional to see about obtaining a DX

i have suspected myself for over a year now and whil i dont think ill get a DX... i dont think i have AS that bad, comparitively

i hope you stay and surf here at WP.... as it is my therapy and is the only place i've found many people i identify with regardless of what i or they may have goin on upstairs

welcome to WP!

what you described in your first post was social anxiety, but the rest of the stuff sounds ASish...

psychotic is wrong. It all DOES sound Aspieish. Based on your early testing, you probably have enough info to support an AS diagnosis. Yeah, your family sounds nice.

I always knew too that I was different (but I'm 60 now and cant do much about adjusting my life). When I read the symptoms that make up the syndrome then I knew I had AS. All the symptoms were there - no more no less.That lead me to pro diagnosis which confirmed AS. Yeah, different. I know what you mean ! I am dealing with it well tho it tires me. I'm doing well coping and being normal and tell the people that need telling what my 'disorder' involves. You'll be cool with it cause you're young. At my stage in live, I just let go and be who I am.

I'm no expert, so I'm not going to try to diagnose you. I just want to say that you don't have to worry about driver's licenses or college at this very moment. You have plenty of time. See how you feel in 5 or 10 years, if that's what it takes. I also hope you're getting help for your social anxiety. I've been there, and I know it's a horrible feeling.

I really appreciate all the support. This whole thing has been an emotional experience, but I'm ultimately happier, because I can finally stop searching for the reason I am the way I am. I'm also really glad I found this site, because it makes me feel like I'm not so alone anymore.

Yeah, my family is very supportive, it's nice. It's not like it's a new thing, but I've never been open about my problems, especially the anxiety, until recently. I was really afraid that since I was opening up so suddenly, they'd think that I'm just creating symptoms that I read about, but they believe me and have been great. My mom and grandma both promised me that even if I don't have AS, we would figure it all out no matter what. I'm so grateful to have them.

Welcome to WP

Sounds like you have a mixture of social anxiety and AS. And no, you're not just jumping the gun or being a hypochondriac. If you suspect something is up, then most likely it is. If not, then you were just making sure. I knew my entire life I wuz more than "just shy", and my AS diagnosis confirms that.

Maybe you do. I would guess so, but the social anxiety is extreme. You can have both, or more, whoopee! My daughter has autism plus (retardation, bipolar, OCD, seizure disorder and an iron grip pinch you wouldn't believe)
I'm glad your mother and grandmother are so supportive. I cry when I read some of the posts here. Some people here have monstrous families.
It is good to know. One of my sister-in-laws wanted to know why it was so important I label myself as having asperger's. I tried to explain to her that that knowing that I wasn't just being, um, selfish, um, self-centered, rude, etc, but that there were brain differences meant that now I could come up with coping strategies that were better than berating myself for being such an ass. It also helps me recognize better when I am making other people uncomfortable so that I can either moderate my behaviour or explain it to them in such a way that they become my allies in coping.
I just finished reading (and then gave away so I can't remember exactly the title) the Temple Grandin and Sean (Barron?) book about the unwritten rules of (social interaction?). I think you would find Sean's stories and analysis fascinating and helpful.
Good luck on your journey.

I would think that if you have researched it as much as you say.....and you really had Aspergers, you would know it right off the bat by your readings.

So after all the studying, if you still aren't quite sure, then you probably don't have asperger's syndrome.


There are SO many other things out there to cause those issues besides asperger's. Skipping grades and being smarter than others can often cause people to make fun of you or ignore you. Over time that would make you feel much different than everyone else. But in the end, you could just be a very smart person that is now quite shy because you don't feel like you fit in.


Just don't talk yourself into thinking you have it. I believe that can actually be done fairly easy by the tests I have read. And once you do? Well, it will be nearly impossible to have a professional tell you otherwise......because you have already taken the tests yourself and have convinced yourself.

"I would think that if you have researched it as much as you say.....and you really had Aspergers, you would know it right off the bat by your readings."

Nothing wrong with a bit of healthy sceptisism, but I think there's so much going on here that I'm pretty sure you have something. I can't say if it's AS, though. You definately have OCD issues and anxiety - not unusual with AS - and that kind of anxiety usually has a cause. I don't think that just being smarter than the other kids would be enough to explain it. A normal, smart kid would know how to behave in order to get accepted, I think.

Reading the symptoms is one thing, but analyzing your own behaviour can be confusing. If other people think you might have it, that's usually a better indication than your own ideas.

The thing is, because I've researched it so much, I'm positive that I have it. Everything just fits. As soon as I read about AS, it was like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. My grandpa gave me a list of symptoms from somewhere and I ended up having 18 out of 25 of them. But you're right about not wanting the let down when I get a professional opinion, that's why I came here in the interim.

Well, that was me. Everything just fit perfectly. In the end, I WAS diagnosed with AS.