Tell me why I can't have AS

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Every once in a while I get this urge to diagnose myself... The usual suspects this last year have been some form of ADHD and/or Asperger. I kinda decided I had Asperger last year, but after seeing Mozart and the Whale, I thought I couldn't possibly have it, because i don't look or act anything like the guys in the movie. Most of the time I can pass for a regular guy, but I've never feel like a regular guy, which is why I'm still obsessing about this diagnosis.

So I thought I'd do a different take on the usual diagnosis question. I'll give you a short history, and some reasons why I think I can't have it. Feel free to diagnose me - without any legal liability

I was a smart kid, learned to read on my own. Spent most of my early years inside reading, little interest in playing with other kids. Stubborn as hell, according to my mother. Overwhelmed by the noise in kindergarten, I remember it as being extremely confusing and uncomfortable. Started school a year early, and skipped another year. Bullied mercilessly for ages, and developed a bad case of depression and social anxiety. Always felt different, couldn't connect to people or make friends (that's still the big one for me). I'm bad at eye contact. People either make me nervous and uncomfortable, or I'm too bored to focus on what they're saying - including my own parents. Concentration problems in school (never noticed myself, but it's in every single report card). Daydreaming, chronic procrastination, and so on... Anything social makes me tired, and I need to recover on my own. I don't understand emotions very well, for a long time I didn't think I had any. I've also got these big obsessions that come and go without any intervention from me. Astronomy and music when I was a kid. These days it can be anything. Computers, headphones, blogging, writing, mental disorders... It's usually the last thing I think about at night, and the first thing in the morning, and they usually last for a week or a month or two.

Ok, that should be enough to give you an idea. Now for the things that don't seem to fit the profile:

* Girlfriends. I've always had one. Pretty much non-stop since I was about 15. Married twice as well. (Got one kid who's being tested for ADHD/Asperger now).

* Empathy. I've got plenty, maybe too much, even. No problem reading faces either.

* Humor and sarcasm. I know that aspies are supposed to be the last people to get jokes, but I'm usually the first. It's actually one of my strong suits. I'm a master of sarcasm.

* Routines. I don't have an ounce of OCD in my body. My life's a mess. I remember being a bit of a perfectionist when I was younger, but it's all gone now :p I like changes, moving to different countries, anything to break the boring routine.

* Math. Zero interest. I don't have a problem with it, but it bores me. I don't remember dates or numbers. I can't even remember my parents' or my children's birthdays.

* Creativity. I always hear that people with Asperger are supposed to be logical number-crunchers, but I don't have any of that. I think I'm pretty creative. My main interests are the arts, music and writing, things like that. I know that I've got a moderate talent for both. (In case I get any complaints: English isn't my native language).

So with all of this, why do I think I'm autistic? Hard to say, really. Mostly this constant feeling that I'm basically living inside my own head, and that the outside world isn't as real as I would like it to be... Does this make any sense? The constant feeling of acting (badly) in everyday situations, and the feeling of not belonging and that I'm missing something vital that everybody else seem to take for granted.

So what do you think? AS or not?

AS, definetly. Alot of what you are describes me in some ways as well

I think you have AS. A lot of it sounds like me also. Just remember that you won't have all of the symptoms, but you still seem to have a lot of them.

That sounds a lot like me, but I don't have an AS diagnosis. Getting neuropsych testing setup to distinguish whether I've got AS or NLD.

Maybe your right at the boundary between normal and AS. I can be quite empathetic, but it's a skill I learned over time; I don't know when. However, I can tune people out and block out other people's feelings just as easy. It's my default mode. Being empathetic does take some work and I do get exhausted from it. Heck, I've got a Master's in social work. It's hard to be a social worker and not empathetic.

Sounds like AS to me. The thing that clinched it for me is that you said you feel like you're living inside your own head. I'm the same way.

I don't have an official diagnosis (yet... I'm still debating the merits of getting one), but there's no question to me that I have it. I've got lots of empathy too - too much at times, like you said. I'm also great at sarcasm; practically every other thing I say is sarcastic. And I don't have an issue with reading facial expressions (although I did take a test online where you had to read expressions based only on the eyes and I failed it miserably) or remembering faces. In fact, I'm really good at remembering faces, but absolutely horrible at remembering names.

AS DOES refer to development as well, and you didn't say enough for ANYONE to know that. You said some things that at least SOUND HFA. ALSO, you have ALWAYS had a girlfriend, and married TWICE? That DOESN'T sound autistic HFA or AS.

And AS people can get jokes. It is just timing and TYPE AS people have trouble with.

BTW just out of curiousity, what IS your native language?

I too was suprised when I saw Mozart and the Whale.

I think a few people here say its a not a real representation of AS. I thought he was similar to someone who had a more severe form of autism.

You should watch a british TV movie called Magnificant 7 starring Helena Bohnam Carter. One of her on screen son's has AS, hes probably more similar to you and me.

Thanks for the replies, everybody It really helps a lot. And only one hypochondriac vote so far, happy about that too :p

"Maybe your right at the boundary between normal and AS."

Yeah, that's a distinct possibility. But some of these issues have been a huge problem in my life. No friends in school, flunking classes and getting fired because of not doing stuff on time. The obsessions are very distracting as well. And the problem connecting emotionally with people is very bad for personal relationships.

Being a social worker without empathy must be tiring. What made you choose that profession? Just curious.

"AS DOES refer to development as well, and you didn't say enough for ANYONE to know that."

I don't really know too much about my early years. No language delay, I know that. I was speaking by the time I was one. My mother has lots of stories about me making embarrassing comments in public. Asking fat guys if they're pregnant, and so on :p I used to think all kids did that, but after having children myself, I realize that's not the case. I used to sing a lot as well. That's pretty much all I know.

"You said some things that at least SOUND HFA."

I notice in the description of HFA that they don't lack empathy, only have problems expressing it. Shouldn't this go for AS as well, in that case? And procrastination is a symptom... Hm, that's one of my biggies.

"ALSO, you have ALWAYS had a girlfriend, and married TWICE? That DOESN'T sound autistic HFA or AS."

Yeah, I know. But they were all weird, if that helps :p My first gf was a schizophrenic. And I was pretty good-looking when I was younger, which helps a lot. But isn't it true that a lot of AS people are married?

"BTW just out of curiousity, what IS your native language?"

Norwegian.

I'll check out that movie, Jonny. Thanks

HFA people can lack ANYTHING, INCLUDING empathy. AS has more of a floor, so it is where you might see such prohibitions.

WELL, You knew ENOUGH! So NOW you sound more AS!

As for asking people if they were pregnant, MOST NT kids won't do that with just anyone. WHY? Because they don't make the connection until later, and they will then be more likely to keep their mouth shut.

WOW, are there THAT many "crazy" people in norway? Yeah, that explains it. She is more likely to be more direct, and more accepting.

Well, I guess the language classes in scandinavia are pretty good. I one met three danish kids that didn't think THEY spoke well either. Oh well, both norwegian and English come from, to some degree, danish! Granted, that is far less obvious with english, but at least they are somewhat related.

A lot of what you describe applies to me as well. I started kindergarten at four because I knew what I needed to know, I was reading well above grade level by first grade despite the fact that English was not my first language. (I spoke mostly German until I was six). I was a bookworm, was competent at math but not spectacular and was bullied at school. I was not athletic, but I was physically active. As I child I walked, swam, and rode my bike a lot, even though I was terrible at physical education in school.

I went from limited knowledge of English as a kindergartner to winning an award for excellence in English at high school graduation. I eventually went on to get a Master's Degree.

No, it doesn't sound like you have Asperger's. You have a few of the easiest 'symptoms' to have. But just because you think you are different doesn't mean you have AS. Or just because you are a little different doesn't mean you have AS either.


A kid with a big nose could have all the traits you just mentioned. And most could have stemmed from the big nose. Sadly they got made fun of in school, so they withdrew and felt anti-social. Stayed at home more often reading, didn't go out and meet too many friends.....on and on.


You're giving tiny reasons why you 'think' you have AS. Yet there are MANY more things that show you don't have it. And I bet you could make a much bigger list of why you don't.


I don't have AS, but if I wanted to, I could list things about me that resemble it. And honestly, virtually everyone on earth could.



It sounds like you're a smart person. Starting school early, skipping a year. This WOULD make some dumb kids pick on you. And it WOULD make you feel different the entire time you went to school.....because you WERE different!



But certainly not because of Aspergers.

Sorry, I vote no.....a big NOOOOOOO at that!



If anything, maybe Adult ADD?

"Sorry, I vote no.....a big NOOOOOOO at that! Wink"

Don't be sorry :p It's not something I actually want to have

I've considered Adult ADD as well. Is it possible to have these AS-type obsessions with ADD? My brother is a drug addict with ADHD, so it certainly runs in the family.

You sound more like me than anything! But I have NVLD. I was formerly diagnosed with AS, but since I'm quite the opposite in most ways (except for things like obessesions and meltdowns), they realized how wrong they were.