The Fear of Change

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Tomorrow is the first day back to school for me doing the "school run". After losing my contract for the last school i done driving for i have now been given a new one, new people, new school, new everything.

My wife understands I'm worried and scared but all she does is say how nice the kids are. Thats fine because i do not fear the kids in anyway. Why? because i have been "warned" that they are very Autistic. Its the care workers, the parents, the teachers, the change in routine, the gates, the doors, the faces.........

Although i only have AS i still feel like an undercover spy that none of the NT`s have yet discovered. I have infiltrated the THEIR world and it is that that i fear the absolute most. After all its only with the kids that i`ll be able to have a conversation that actually makes sense.

Alex UK

Yes,its difficult but look on it as a challenge.As for `infitrating` we Aspies have the same right to work as NTs do.

I know the saying "just be yourself" sounds like a total joke, but I'm starting to think that's our only real option at work. Seems like the harder we try to fit in and act normal, the more stress it puts on us and then the weirder we behave as a result. Try not to panic over the fact that change makes you panic...if that makes any sense. I'm slowly starting to accept the fact that change is always going to freak me out, I can't multi-task well, and I don't connect with people on any significant level. Learning to accept this has made me feel more calm in new and stressful situations, because I'm no longer adding more stress to the situation by berating myself for not handling change well. As Einstein said, "once we accept our limitations, we go beyond them." I think that's true.

Concentrate on taking good care of the kids, and on keeping yourself as calm and comfortable as possible in your new environs, and don't fret over the NTs you'll be dealing with. The more we fret over these situations in advance, the worse things tend to turn out when dealing with NTs. Rehearsing NT interactions is too stressful. Just take every situation as it comes. Good luck!

I hate, and fear change more than anything other than being caught in a buning building, or getting on an AmTrack. They have many derailments that end in lots of death. Don't think that having AS makes you less Autistic than someone with Kanner's Syndrome.

You will do fine! Besides, what is the "worst" thing that can happen? Sometimes when you think of the worst, it seems like all your
worrying is for nothing. Relax and take a deep breath when you feeling overwhelmed.

Today's scary new experience is simply tomorrow's routine everyday experience waiting to happen.

You'll get used to it. Probably get used to it quicker if you don't put too much pressure on yourself - the whole "GOT TO LOOK NORMAL!" stress is counter-productive. If you enjoy the work and the kids are ok then everything else will gradually become more bearable.

You are allowed to be nervous - that's ok. Don't worry about trying to be perfect.

People will probably use nervousness to write off any slightly-odd behaviour that happens in the first few days, too.

I know this is proberbly going to sound strange for someone on the spectrum to say this but I love change I always welcome change I do get so bored with routine that I want to do something different.

I dont adjust to change well either. My husband started law school and this is week three. I went from seeing him most of the day to a few hours. Its not so bad, but i was really depressed for a couple of weeks. It will be different when a routine is established.

Add me to the list of people who don't like change. This Summer I went back to Manchester, UK for the first time in nearly twenty years and I hated it. All of the old places which I loved had gone and the place is now all modern buildings with no character.

I couldn't wait to get back home.

Ed Almos

Thanks to those who said not to worry. I did go wrong a bit but i kept my cool and everything was fine...........



Then the car blew up , no joking ! !!

AlexUK

^At least that created a diversion! Glad all went well otherwise. Congrats on surviving the first day - it'll get easier from here.