Selective sensory issues?

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Ive noticed in the past that I have no problems with hugging people I feel strongly about (ie "girlfriends" etc), but I HATE my parents, I also dislike my older sister. Im not saying they are horrible people anymore, I still feel really uncomfortable when Im around them even if they are trying to be nice. When my dad occasionally tries to play around and pretend to box with me, or when my mom tries to tickle me, I feel EXTREME discomfort. Where they touch theres this (well I couldnt discribe it as pain per se), but its a tingley sensation that I cant stand. It feels like someone kept me imprisoned for 50 years then sent me to my death. Also I hate the way they eat, chew, talk, walk, sound (grumbles, sneezes, coughs, etc). Every time I hear/see any of this I cringe in discomfort. So you cant imagine how it feels when they get into fights with me (verbally these days). Ive felt this way ever since elementary school, when they started getting nasty. My mom (Im not exaggerating) has been yelling for so long she cant hear how loud she is, especially when shes on the phone.. It sounds more of like a screech to me. Plus Ill hear them getting loud and tell them to stop but they tell me that they arent. This is the main reason I stay in my room, other than the fact that I have nowhere to go anyway. The more I stay away from them the better I feel. Does this make sense at all?

It makes ****PERFECT**** sense! I had ALL of those happen with me, and I feel much the same. Except I usually feel like pressure, rather than tingling. This pressure can last for almost a day on even the lightest touch, so it isn't real logical.

And as for tickling, that happened with an uncle I had up to maybe 6 or so. He wasn't a real uncle, and wasn't the one that was the friend I liked. THIS uncle was one that seemed to want to annoy me. The ONLY things he did around me were:

1. Invite me and my mother for dinner which was sometimes at his place. He loved high end food/wine, and was a good cook, and treated me like an adult often.
2. Always got me a sweater as a present EVEN though EVERYONE knew I hated sweaters!
3. Had long talks with my mother while I went to my room(by MY choice).
4. When I was in my room, he would often act like a bear or something, try to sneak in, and tickle me. AGAIN, I HATED that, and made it known to everyone. Don't ask me WHY he did this! He was definitely straight, and this is about as far as anything went with me. Maybe he thought this attention would get my mother to marry him or something. After all, I was her kid, and one of the obstacles to any marriage.

The closest my mother came to that was hugs and kisses even though I made it known I hated THAT also!

Yeah, and when they tickle it doesnt even feel like a tickle it doesnt feel any different when my dad tries to play boxing with me.

Yep!

I always thought the touching thing was specific to autism.

Do you think this is all physically driven or is it emotionally driven, or a combination of both?

I really dislike being around people who live their lives yelling for normal conversation and not realizing they are doing it.

I CAN'T STAND THIS even in other animals!
I mean, not the way everyone eats, talks, etc., but there are times when the slightest repetitive sound or motion just DRIVES ME CRAZY!
I can't seem to block out those things and the harder I try, the worse my mood gets, the more my head feels as if it's going to explode!
I have actually walked up to strangers and asked them to stop (sometimes visibly agitated with them).
Sometimes when one of my wife's cats would start licking itself, the repetitive sound took over my mind completely, then I would keep turning to the cat to see if I could make it stop by staring at it, until I couldn't hold back any longer and shooshed it away from me.
It doesn't even have to be within a few feet of me. If I can hear it even a little bit, I can't stand it.

The house I recently shared with my wife and daughter drove me crazy.
It was on a busy street and all the noises kept me pretty anxious. I'm all too happy to let her have the house with the divorce!
Our bedroom was upstairs in the back. With the windows closed, I could hear people walking and talking from over a block away.
The area was like a natural amphitheatre and late at night I would wake up to hear a couple of people talking. I'd just lie there listening to the voices, getting more and more agitated as they came closer.
Sometimes I'd start flip-flopping in bed to cover my ears so I could get to sleep again and my wife would wake up and ask what was wrong.
I'd tell her, "There's some people out there talking and it's keeping me awake!".
She says she couldn't hear them.
I could go to our side window and watch the street and, sure enough, the people I heard would walk by. I knew I wasn't crazy

It makes sense to me as well. If I don't know someone, or don't like them I have problems with sensitivity in the sense of feel. I like hugs, and touch from those I feel deep love for. I have a similar issue with sound, and light. I have things that always bother me sound wise, and some that hurt no matter what. When I'm stressed they all are painfull, but in a strange non pain that I really can't explain. It's like the sound is to much for me to deal with, and my brain starts turning off. That's the closest thing I can say to explain it. It's like a megaphone being used right by your ear. I hate being tickled it has caused me pain since I was very little, and no matter how much I protested everyone would tickle me. Why don't people listen?

Its a combination of both I think.
Its not so bad when Im in my room, cause I can play my music loud and it drains the sounds coming from downstairs pretty well.

oom?

Your room is a space that you control though right?
I would expect that be a better place, although sounds can find way through doors and walls, unfortunately.

I'm guessing that no matter what clothing you're wearing, the touch thing is still as intense for you?
Or, can you layer stuff on and decrease the 'pain' you feel during these situations?

Sorry I was trying to finish my sentence but something happened where submit was pushed when I was in the middle of typing. I dunno what happened! Plus my sister just got this palm pilot and they are f*****g around with the internet connection downstairs and its messing everything up!! It feels like my heads going to explode!! I cant stand it here anymore I need to leave now! What am I going to do??
I just wear normal cloths, unless its itchy wool or too stiff normally I dont have too much of a problem with that.

I'm not sure if I was clear in my question about clothing.

What I meant was... Does it matter when someone touches you, if you are wearing a single layer of clothing or multiple layers?
Do extra layers 'pad' your body enough that any offensive touching is muted?

Just curious.
Thanks.

Ive never worn extra layers before, maybe its something I can try.

[quote]Sometimes when one of my wife's cats would start licking itself, the repetitive sound took over my mind completely, then I would keep turning to the cat to see if I could make it stop by staring at it, until I couldn't hold back any longer and shooshed it away from me.
It doesn't even have to be within a few feet of me. If I can hear it even a little bit, I can't stand it.[quote]

I feel that way,too. If someone NT was in the room, they couldn't understand why I would suddenly chase my cat out of the room for grooming herself. The constant, repetitive sounds of licking and biting drove me crazy. I would try to ignore it, but I couldn't.

I just got back from arguing with my dad about how Im a misfit to society. I cant stand what he says it always sounds so stupid! He told me "durr you just have to give other people a chance". Thats not the point! No one gives ME a chance, and if they do theyre sorry they did it! I just wish that someone else who has AS can explain it to them, no matter what I say they keep thinking its something I can ignore or something. My mom says (or should I say, yells?) "oh thats just an excuse, I read online people with AS can learn to be (what she calls) "normal"". To learn to not pace like a mad man? To learn how to overcome my other stims/quirks? To learn how to make people not wish I was dead? Ive already tried everything, theres nothing left that I can do! I spent my whole life trying until recently, how could anyone keep trying after that much failure? AS or not? They keep threatening to take me to live in a "home" if I dont leave my room and they said they cant accept that Im not social with (out of all people), them, but they still go on about how much they read about it online. They still dont understand! I cant take it!
Doesnt have much to do with the topic but this was on my mind so I just felt like putting it here. Whatever.

Oh, and they say, "well you can get rid of your depression with meds". Ok lets say my depression is completely healed. What am I gonna do with my OTHER problems??

Maybe I can explain to them when/if I meet them!


Btw, the thing about hating everything they say and do, hwo they chew, how they eat, everything, I can really relate to with my mother.


I hate it when she says that about AS people learning to be normal too! She doesn't so much anymore thank God!


I can SO relate to you! You and I are so alike it's scary.

Well Username88,

Some people just do't understand how brains work. Below are just a few myths about the brain...

1. Capacity can be used for anything, so geniuses are quick learners, with good memory, that can do any math, are logical, etc... The truth is that people have different areas of strength.
2. Actions are 100% controlled by any sane person. The fact is that a lot of things come into play, and may make such attempts painful.
3. That reluctance to change is 100% voluntary. The truth is that it may be out of need. I HATE eating new things, I am too picky, and might not eat. I hate taking new routes, I may make a wrong turn. On my last car purchase, I TRIED to reaccess everything ON THE FLY. It worked out PERFECTLY, except I missed two minor things, and one major. Also, I paid more for it. I should have picked one of the 5 I RESEARCHED!
4. That everyone has the same basic senses. The truth is that autistics, or ASpies, may be hurt by certain things that others aren't, and be hyper or hypo sensitive.
5 That depression is 100% voluntary. Circumstance or chemicals can come into play. Chemicals change all over, so they may not be able to fix the problem. Even if they do, misunderstanding the last 4 items can cause circumstances to lead to depression!


If it makes you feel better, my parents were the SAME way, and I just said I had the symptoms! I didn't know that they were AS symptoms, at the time. And YEP! I was smart, but did stupid things! I had actions that weren't even seemingly in MY best interest! I was even MORE reluctant to change then, and my current reluctance drives people nuts! As for depression, I used to have chemical depression. Right now, if I am depressed, it is generally because of the other items. So I certainly know where you are coming from.

Thanks for the replies guys and I appreciate what youve said. None the less I cant stand living like this anymore. A lot of the time I feel like I cant wait another day. Then the next day rolls around and nothing changes. I want to make a change that will actually work for me.. None of this "home" s**t that my mom keeps threatening about though. I could never live in an environment like that!

I'd like to know the gruesome details about these "homes".


The best home for someone like you is with us. Please hang on another two months; sleep in your car sometimes if you have to!