Should I get a second opinion?

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I was diagnosed with Aspergers in 2005. As I've explained in other topics, this diagnosis has had a bad impact on my life and was used just to cause harassment and distress. I can't stop thinking about whether I should get a second opinion.

After the amount of upset my Mother's meddling caused me, there is nothing that would satisfy me more than to have a consultant psychiatrist tell her I don't have AS.

In the event that I have something else, perhaps I have some disease which is actually curable? If it turns out I do have AS, then fair enough.

Unfortunately though, if the AS diagnosis is removed or changed, I'm not going to get the last 17 years of my life back.

You've not explained why you think the diagnosis might be wrong just that you don't like it.

Do you have any reasons to believe you are not Autistic?

It is difficult to say.

The diagnosis was done mostly for political reasons.

It is possible that the social anxiety could be a diagnosis in its own right and not part of AS.

I have also suffered from depression since 2006 which doesn't help matters.

So its really difficult to say whether any symptoms I have are related to AS or not.

Doing anything to get back at your mother is NOT going to make you feel any better, unfortunately.

Everybody has a right to a second opinion.

If you do that you need to do that for the purpose of getting the right diagnosis not the diagnosis you want. If the diagnosis is not ASD great, if not while disappointing it can still help you learn about yourself if you are open to it.

As others have said this has to be about you not her. You are an adult.

It does indeed need to be about me. I just don't know what to do. Nothing will get me the last 17 years of my life back, and I think enough damage has been done that I don't have much of a future.

You can not bring the last 17 years back but a better understanding of yourself might mean a better future than you think.

Just thought I'd revisit this thread I started a few years ago.

I finally plucked up the courage to ask for a second opinion. The GP I saw was discreetly laughing at me, but did refer me to the mental health nurse. The mental health nurse seemed very bemused at why I would question such a diagnosis (I got the impression she is probably used to seeing patients who WANT a diagnosis; not the other way round). But she did say she would write to the relevant clinic to find out who/where I need to be referred to.

She also offered to refer me to the local social prescribing service who can help me make a benefit claim, as well as the NHS's employment service. No idea how useful either of those will be but I'll happily go along and see.

Good luck

I am a little confused.

Is the reason you want the diagnosis removed or changed:
(a) You think it is wrong
(b) Your Mother thinks it is right

I have reason to suspect that its wrong.

After pursuing this second opinion for a number of months now, I finally got confirmation this week that the local NHS diagnostic service will not do a second opinion .

Oh well. I might put a complaint in at some point and remind them of GMC guidance on second opinions, as well as their own policy on the same.

I'm sorry you couldn't get a second opinion at this time. That sounds frustrating. Ultimately, diagnosis or not, I think you should be allowed to decide how much you agree with it or not. And, something I've carried with me from other places on the internet is the saying "if you've met one autistic person, you've met one autistic person." It's okay if you don't related to every trait. And also it's okay if you disagree with the diagnosis.

I'm not entirely sure what pieces you don't agree with, but maybe you just need some space and time to figure out who you are as a person, not worrying about the label. I hope you can find some understanding!

On a second note, I find it a bit amusing we joined Wrong Planet the same date, apparently. I find that kind of interesting! lol

I know how you feel. Things were similar with me. My parents were under threat by social services to get me diagnosed with something or face losing her children, as getting me diagnosed with something would prove they were not abusive parents. My school phobia I had when I was 4 made it looked like I was being abused at home. So if I hadn't of acted like a s**t on my first week of school then I wouldn't have had to live with the stress of assessments, meetings, scrutinisation, being forced to sit in a room listening to my parents and other adults talk about me, and feeling singled out from my peers by a label more than the disorder itself. It was traumatising and is why I hate my diagnosis to this day and why I feel so envious of Aspies who just slipped through the net as a shy or anxious child and just decided they were autistic in adulthood. My diagnosis was revealed to everybody against my consent because I was a helpless child at the time with no say, and we all know that labels stick.

I went from 8 years old right into adulthood believing I was disabled and different in every way. But I'm not disabled. Yes, autism is a disability for most, but for me it feels more like a difference in information processing. The difficulties I do have are classic ADHD symptoms, which were what I was struggling with in childhood too but I only got diagnosed with Asperger's. But I've always hated that word. Ugh.

It's no point in me getting reassessed, they'll probably just tell me they can't do that. But I do feel like there's still some sort of restriction with the diagnosis on my medical records. I know there are very strict rules on confidentiality in the UK but I'm still scared it might somehow still get leaked out and make its way to my employer. Or if I ever committed a crime (which is extremely unlikely) my diagnosis might be revealed to the media if the crime makes the news, or if I happened to go missing one day they might say "missing woman with Asperger's/autism". Stuff like that. You're not really completely free with that s**t pasted all over your medical records.

I hope you can appeal their decision because it's total BS that they won't even consider it. People can go their whole adult lives before getting a diagnosis so it's clearly optional. It might be worth going private if that's at all feasible. Would it make much difference if you "cleverly" worded it by saying you want to be reassessed for possible comorbids or something like that?

I've considered getting a second opinion on and off, because I have my own questions too. I've read some rather dramatised, exaggerated anecdotes that my mum wrote and gave to the pediatrician as evidence back in the day (I suspect munchausens by proxy even if the sperg dx is partly accurate.) And diagnosis has not come without its damage that I have to live with forever. I don't think I'm especially normal but how much of that is innate and how much is environmental damage is a tough question with no obvious answer. And I can't stand not knowing.

A second opinion would allow me some closure and I'll accept any outcome. But if the ghouls at the NHS laugh in your face at the mention of it then I guess it's not worth bothering with. I'll have to carry on not knowing, the damage has been done regardless. Psychiatry is an ethically complicated field in part because professionals are primed to already think of patients as an unreliable narrator as soon as labels are written. There is a lot of gaslighting by doctors.
Squeeker's advice is probably the most practical and I think useful long term. Your records are what they are but you are free to disregard medical jargon and conceptualise yourself in your own terms. It doesn't matter what syndromes x and y behaviour fall under, you are still an individual and no one can take that away. You also have the right not to disclose to anyone you don't want to.

If you cannot separate yourself from the diagnosis then make the diagnosis "look good." That is, make mild Autism look like an advantage!