Pressured to have an abortion what should I do?

Post Reply New Topic

A few years ago when I got pregnant and me and my ex boyfriend at the time wanted the baby and were prepared to be parents my mom forced me to have an abortion or I would be disowned from the family. I was 22 at the time so old enough. This is a good age to get pregnant. The reason why she made me have an abortion was because she thought I wasn’t ready to have a baby yet because I was still living with my mom and dad. Me and the baby’s dad worked part time. So we could have done it with WIC and help from other family members and I could have moved in with him and raised the baby and now I had to have the abortion. Is it strange to be forced into an abortion like this? After the abortion I was forced to get birth control so I wouldn’t get pregnant again until my mom saw that I was ready to have a baby. What are your thoughts on this? Was this unnecessary? Did my autism have something to do with why I was forced to have an abortion? This is why I hate being autistic and wish I was normal. I hope this isn’t eugenics and discrimination because I’m autistic because being forced to have an abortion is uncalled for. I hear stories of girls with intellectual disability that is forced into abortion and I was wondering if this applied to me on why I had to have an abortion. Just didn’t have immediate family support which sucks because I was an adult who got pregnant. What are your thoughts?

Abortion should only be your decision, and nobody should pressure you or deny your choice.

In Poland abortion is almost 100% forbidden, it is available (hardly) ONLY in those two cases - there is a threat to the pregnant mother's life or the pregnancy is the result of a crime (rape, incest, sex before 15 which is the age of consent here). And even then, it's close to a miracle if any doctor agrees to perform the abortion legally.

Back in 2008, there was a girl below the age of consent who got pregnant by her bf, she couldn't get the abortion and they wanted to take her mother's parental rights away to keep the fourteen year old pregnant (luckily, the girl did manage to undergo the abortion). And they kept telling her she was going to have this made up, non-existent "post abortion syndrome" - EVERY, let me stress this word again - EVERY woman/girl who wants to undergo this simple medical procedure, is told by the prolifers she is going to experience it Even if she is an atheist who isn't afraid of commiting a "sin" (killing the innocent baby).

Several women died in Poland over the course of the last several years because the doctors were afraid of performing the abortion, in the result of which the women and their fetuses lost their lives. Every Pole knows the story of Agata Lamczak who was pregnant but her doctors didn't want to treat her because the medical treatment would kill the fetus, telling her "she should think less about her own ass and more about the baby"

Think of Salvador - but in a less extreme version. Btw, once I read about a ten year old girl in Senegal who got raped by her neighbor and got pregnant with twins I asked my mother if she would force me to undergo the pregnancy and give birth if I was in a similar situation as the girl. "No, how I could do it to a ten year old?" my mom replied. "So how old would I need to be for you so as you did force me to do this?" I asked. "Fifteen?" "Eighteen, maybe?" my mother said.

if you want to keep the baby, keep the baby.

Are you capable of raising and providing for a child?

If not, terminating was probably the best decision for all involved.

It should had been your decicion. It was wrong to force you. But, there was a wisdom in your mother's demand to you. Kids aren't toys, feeling like you are ready is not enough. If you can't even afford your own home, you certainly will not be able to afford treatment of child if it will be born severely ill. You can't afford good education and future for the kid, like moving to a better country, not sure if you would be even be able to afford the kid to explore hobbies, or finance kid so it will have a bit of good life travelling and seeing the world, or doing anything else to enjoy life for a bit before ending up in endless cycle of job-home. You might not think that all of that is important, but at least not being dependant on others is an absolutely necessary step a good parent should do before even thinking about kids. So if you are not just going to dump another soul into word of suffering, and really want your kid to be happy, listen to the mother. Set yourself in life, then have a kid. I wish my mother would do the same, or never had me at all.

I can understand parents being very concerned about their adult kid having a baby of their own when the adult kid is somewhat dependent on the parents. The parents do not want to feel expected to help with raising the grand-kid. I generally believe that getting an abortion or carrying the kid to term should be decided by the pregnant woman. I guess putting the baby up for adoption might be an alternative if the family is unable or unwilling to raise the baby on their own but it's still a majorly crummy situation. It majorly sux that there is not a lot of society support for parents going through economic & other life hardships.