Confusion/"Hazy Diagnosis"/Greeting.

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Hello, there. My name is Meg, and I personally don't really think I have Asperger's, but sometimes I worry alot over whether or not I do. I'll get to why that is in the second paragraph. (I am a Psych major and if nothing else I'm here to learn about you - please don't take that as condescending; I think autism and autistic people are fascinating since it's so difficult to understand what's really going on to an outside observer; at least that's how it seems. I really want to learn more about how you really work rather than how you are perceived as working by the mainstream psychological community.)

However, when I was going to public school, it was suspected I had AS (the process was very strange and painful - I was the subject of controversy between many, many psychiatrists - the people with the most knowledge on AS said I didn't have it, but some people still insisted I did, I never got a final diagnosis, and certainly no specific treatment). I was definitely an "ugly duckling" in a lot of ways, I can understand why they thought I might have it, and I went through a plethora of "awkward phases" but nearly all of that dissolved by the end of my public school career. A lot of people who knew me back then see me as having done a complete 180 (who I am now feels completely natural, and wasn't coerced by any therapies etc), and people I know now have no idea why I worry about being awkward at all.

I've taken the Baron-Cohen tests a couple times recently, my results are in this general range:
Autism Quotient: 9-12
Empathy Quotient: 54-59
Systemizing Quotient: 8-14
Mind In The Eyes - 26-30 (I hate this one because in half of them, you can't even SEE the eyes because the images are too dark, grainy, or contrasted!)

And the Aspie quiz on RDOS. My results for that are somewhere between 65-75 "Aspie points" and 150-160 "NT points" - either way it says I'm "probably neurotypical".

Though, I appear to have a lot of what tend to be called "Aspie talents". Is it possible for NTs to have these strengths as well?

Thanks, and nice meeting you all.

I hope you start feeling okay soon.

Thank you; it's hard for me.

Welcome! It sounds to me like you probably don't have Asperger's. If you're a Psych major, and if you're you, I would think that if you have it you'd recognize it clearly. In my case I don't have a diagnosis, but I'm 99.99% sure that I have it. It makes everything that is unusual about me make sense, and my score on the Aspie Quiz was over 180 Aspie points. Anyway, welcome and have fun.

Aah, thanks for your input. See, the thing with me is I feel like I have some traits here and there, but I feel they're for completely different reasons. The main thing tipping me towards not thinking I have AS is the fact that if I did, I'd probably be able to understand those on the spectrum on a more personal level than I do (my understanding of you guys is mostly gleaned from psychological literature, knowing autistic people, knowing people who know autistic people, etc.)

On a side note, I love your avatar (Rainbow Fish is such a cute book) My mom has that picture in her bathroom.

Welcome to WP!

I have an AS diagnosis, but I got "very likely neurotypical" on the Aspie Quiz.

Tim

Thanks, I love this avatar too. It's from a picture of the wall border that was in my son's room when he was a baby. The entire room was decorated in that design along with a 4 foot long aquarium. It was very beautiful and peaceful and serene, but the little guy still ended up with severe ADHD and Asperger's. So, Asperger's Lesson #1: environment can NOT overcome genetics.

I'd say that if you understand what is meant about asperger's and its associated traits, and you feel that you do not have AS, then you are very probably right. Once I understood (among other things) that what other people meant by the word obsession was what I simply thought of as 'stuff I'm interested in' and when you realise that while it seems normal to you, not being able to resist doing the rounds of every cupboard in the kitchen, looking inside and staring aimlessly accompanied by much sighing, and then coming back intermittently to repeat the process about half a dozen times, every afternoon on returning home from school, that to others this apparently is better described as stereotyped, non-functional ritualised behavior, it becomes difficult to not 'make the connection'.

Another words if you know what the clinical language is actually describing (and I would gather as a psych major, you do), and you still doubt it is talking about you, it seems likely (to me) you are right and it is not.

Thanks for your input.

Yeah, I had traits as a child, but obviously if no one could agree whether it was AS or not (I had a lot of the OCD-ish things going on, but they only developed after extreme prolonged stress/some traumatic experiences, lasted a few years, and they're completely gone now, disappeared on their own), it was definitely...well, less than certain somehow, and I wager most of those issues were caused by generalized anxiety if anything, since while I was socially awkward at certain points in time, I never had a problem with alexithymia, or being able to tell other peoples' emotions/intentions.