Homosexual people/ new to highschool/ friend.../

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I don't want to sound mean or awkward, but i'm 14. and I just started highschool, so everything is new. I found out that while I was still in middle school a friend of mine came out as gay. I'm a girl, but i'm not really good around people and he's suddenly more hyper then he ever was and huggy and grabby and girly and stereotypical, like out of tv...and i'm not sure how to act around him. I really don't mind that he's gay, but I was making a joke with my friend, becuase back in middle school it was this big thing pretend your married to your friends and me and my one friend were married, and were both girls. and I was joking around and mentioned that I thought gay people should be able to get married and I think he heard and i thought I was talking bad about him. I don't want him to think I'm talking bad baout him. thats why we had problems before.... was that to long ad confusing???

has anyone else had a situation like this? I really don't care what his orientation, is I just care that I'm weird and don't sense things right ( cept I got that on the money!) and I don't want to do or say something offending....

his other friends are mostly girls... tons of them. when we were friends in 7th grade we were with guys, but he didn't act like them... his other friends are all over the place with him. he isn't a calm person. they hug him alot...er...he likes to be touched. my other friend who we were friends with is a guy, and i think he's even more uncomfortable then i am, especially since um said gay guy had feelings for him once... basically he's like a very dramatic overly girly, girl, only a guy, and my huggy. oh! and he got mad at me for something wich I dunno, and he wouldn't tell me and he then told my friend that I have a crush on him when I don't! I wish things were like the first year of middle school. I liked that year much better.

I used to work for what was, essentially, a gay rights organization and what I saw was that people were particularly obnoxious right after they came out and tended to meet every stereotype for a while - sort of like they were trying on the roles their sexuality might present them with - before settling into whatever their personal role really is . . .

Most of the people I like to be around are gay men now - they are less threatening than normal people - in fact, the only person in my life that I have ever actually ENJOYED hugging is gay . . . but that is probably largely a side effect of the fact that he let me stay with him for a while when I was really suicidal one time . . .

I wonder if thats what he's doing? trying on a stereo type...

good advice, from all the above, i reckon.

and i particularly agree with serissa's thing (well, i would, wouldn't i ) about saying things you don't mean are offensive. could you talk to him and say that you'd like him to tell you if he finds something you said offensive, as gently as possible? as people have said, that might be everything and anything, for a while, but people find a level with time.

and shadesofme - it's great to know there are people who are sensitive and thoughtful enough to want to do what you're doing. i applaud you!

I agree that he is probably just trying to find his idenity after coming out. I am sure things will settle down. I also have found I am very comfortable with gay guys and I have found them to be refreshingly honest about their feelings and if you hurt or upset them in anyway. Ok that is not ment to sound sterotypical I just have a lot of friends that are gay guys and they are all wonderfully open.

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No there still are loud attention seeking gay guys these days but to be fair I probably wouldnt know so much about the quite ones because they wouldnt be looking for attention and unfortunately i would guess because of widespread homophobia, in a lot of cases feel the need to avoid it.

I think he's the rainbow buying type. but I still love him! he's a lil over friendly with my male firned though if you get what I mean, and he had a crush on him in the past so...but yeah. today was good. I didn't say anything to upset him. one of my teachers said that a way not to say things to offend people is just to talk about them. compliment them and ask them questions. " Ilike your necklace...." I almost added " did you get it a limited too..." woaah that would have gone wrong. but he probably did... and then he had this trippy dragon necklace. he has loads of bacelets different colors and all that, rainbow crazy... I tried to act like the other girls, and I think it made him more comfortable. better then how it used to be! I think alot of you wouild be uncomfortable around him...It surprised me how outgoing he suddenly was. it's been what? only a year?? meh.

There do seem to be two extremes for gay guys - some are very 'over the top' and others (my preference since I like male traits much more than female) - are just as masculine as anyone else - I'd pick my best friend to defend me in a fight before I would most of the streight men at my work!

.....I found something out....never use the words " came out to me" to describe another girl telling you she likes a boy...especially around a 15 year old gay boy... I meant it like she came out you know like she came too me. we used to use the phrase all the time before. and don't use the words pretty. pretty is bad even if before it was good.