Asperger's and Moving to Find New Social Ground?

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I think my increasingly blunt attempts to meet women, basically hitting on every woman on the social networks in the area, may have led to a negative reputation among the young women in my whole metropolitan area (women generally like to gossip). I'm getting the impression that women here have collectively decided to "boycott" me. The result is I am completely shut out of obtaining male-female relationships.

I have a feeling this happens to many aspies. Our poor social skills/lack of other options causes us to behave in a way that is offputting to others, and our reputation decreases. Then we need to move to somewhere new, where people don't hold preconceptions about us. Anyone getting a similar impression?

I've felt that way... People don't understand and if someone starts gossiping it spreads like a disease.. Maybe try some new places, with a new approach, in the suburbs or another area of that city... sometimes waiting a while before going out, with a new attitude, wardrobe or look can help.. It might be easier to meet people in a school setting or some other setting too..

I've been hitting on women online, so I've pretty much sent messages to women in every corner of the metro area by now.

You could always change your appearance.
Just obsess about your personal appearance and what women want. You'll get women to approach you.

By that do you mean more than friends all the time, instead of getting to know them first? Maybe it's more of the signal you’re sending out, desperate? Funny I just watched a show about males & what they should wear to they body type. Like if you got man boobs you should wear something with pockets at the front, & so on. the list was like 10+ tips for each body type, with colours people should wear & that, I think male's need a class in this, or someone needs to make up a diy type chart like you match the colours up to the ones you want lol.

Think working on yourself in other area's is better, then come back to the female part...

I need to move to find other female Aspies, yet I am in school, and can't move.

"hitting on every girl" is not going to improve your chances, whether you're NT, AS, or XP..

The one rule about women is there are no rules about women. There's nothing (apart from 2 X chromosomes) that can be said to be true for all women. But in general, they want to be treated as individuals. Cutting a swath through them like they're potato chips is not going to get you anywhere, because they'll feel like they're only a bag of chips.

Instead, first thing is to figure out; what do I want in a relationship...ok, besides that...really. Are there certain types you find attractive? Things you want in common? personality? inquisitiveness? inventiveness? etc?

If you give the impression that you'll settle for anything, you're insulting the woman. She wants to see some effort from you to at least meet her halfway. Start from there. Ask questions, actually talk with them, be nice, humerous. If you have women freinds, ask them.

Yes I agree with this. I saw it stated somewhere that relationships start off with a blank slate and then we get pluses or minuses on it dependent on our interactions. If your slate has already accumulated negative points without even having met the person you're off to a bad start already! I guess you're reassessing your strategy so it doesn't happen again?

I have experienced a similar situation just trying to make friends. People who have no friends must have no friends for a reason right? Well it seems people are more reticent to make friends with someone with no friends. It's 'funny' seeing peoples behaviour change right before your very eyes when they first discover you are friendless.

I am thinking of moving for this reason.

[quote="NeantHumain"]I think my increasingly blunt attempts to meet women, basically hitting on every woman on the social networks in the area, may have led to a negative reputation among the young women in my whole metropolitan area (women generally like to gossip). I'm getting the impression that women here have collectively decided to "boycott" me. The result is I am completely shut out of obtaining male-female relationships.


I'm from a small town. I used to think I was paranoid but, I think you are on to something.