How can people not know someone is crying

Post Reply New Topic

Last week my boss had a talk with me about me talking about other parties at work. It means talking about other employees. I had made a post about my problem in The Haven section. I was in the locker room crying and the office clerk got upset when me when I was talking to my mother because she said I was harassing her. I said to my boss, "what was she thinking I was doing. Pretending I was talking to my mother and pretending I was upset and said she speaks bad English just to upset her? Didn't she know I was crying. My god." and she said some people don't know that. That shocked me. I have known crying since I was 2 years old but might not have known the name of the emotion but knew what it looked like. It's expected in autism because people with it have troubles recognizing emotions and all so they might not know the difference in crying face and not a crying face. But how can normal people not know I am crying?
Even another employee over heard me in the locker room and I also said to my boss, "didn't she know I was crying, my god. How could she not know I was upset, I was crying. Even a little kid would know."


This was all appalling for me that two employees didn't know I was crying despite how I was sounding and my face too. Tears in my eyes, red face. Crying. That is a literal facial expression anyone an pick that up. Or did they think it was all a game I was playing?

I don't know about other people's experience, but for me the sound people make when they're crying sometimes sounds as if they're laughing instead, and vice-versa. It utterly confuses me. Probably something to with my hearing-related comprehension issues.

didn't know or didn't care? many don't care if you cry. this is life. time to get a new job. where do you work anyway? why were you crying in the locker room? some of the most callous and insensitive people I've worked with were in my worst jobs-- technical, office type stuff. what a nightmare. I never got along with people who live in cubicles. they are odd types. this is why they love to hide in cubicles all day.

equinn

me thinks u should find a new job with nicer peeps. me thinks that they just didn't care about how u felt and didn't want the boss to know that.

I really do not understand how another can just let someone cry, not care at all, walk off, and pretend nothing happened. People do not cry without a reason (with some exceptions, and/or children). If someone is crying, assume something is WRONG. This should be self-evident, yes? I am certain there are callous individuals out there who would sooner step over someone having a seizure or stroke on the ground that have the decency to stop and HELP. So, I am sorry you were treated with insensitivity.

You are working with people that are insensitive to your needs because they are simply there to get a job done. They are, most likely, not very happy and have no time for emotions or mistakes. These people are vicious. You are feeling as if you're completely alone and misunderstood and you're right--your interperetations are accurate.

These people want to bully someone--you're the person. There is no accountability. They can treat you awfully and get away with it. You are being pushed around, unfairly, and bullied. They want you to cry--why would they care? You need to get out of this job and find a place that is friendly and professional. Even a fast food restaurant is run more professionally with courteous employees working as a team--from what I've noticed.

Find a new job soon.

Next time one of these people asks you to change the paper (whatever this means) tell them to where to put it and walk right out.

equinn

I've heard repeatedly, "Aspie's don't have empathy", which is a patent lie. I've seen empathy from my youngest son as early as grade school. I KNOW I have empathy. What we have is a lack of perception. We don't always recognize another's pain. From what I've seen the NT's sometimes exhibit the exact reverse. They perceive... they simply don't care... no empathy whatsoever.

And yet we're the ones with a disability?

She knew you were crying, just didn’t acknowledge it. She probably doesn’t know why.

A good boss walks you through things until you know them. A bad boss who is struggling themselves to save their own hide blames, ignores and acts rude.

This is her problem and her weakness. IF you don’t understand something, she expects you to ask. But who would ask a jerk forr help? So she can belittle you more to make herself feel good about being a bad boss?

Keep your chin high, ask coworkers to show you how to do things, become better than your boss and let her lose her own job. But, keep looking for a better job. It never hurts to look!


She just can' face her own shortcomings.