behaviours at home and away from your normal surroundings

Post Reply New Topic

I just wondered what your experiences of this are. My son is different as soon as we leave the house, hyper, bad behaviour etc but at home he can be very good (sometimes lol). It seems as soon as his environment changes so does he, would this be normal for aspergers?

I am certainly a lot more relaxed in a familiar environment, ie. at home. I think this is common. I wouldn't know about hyperactivity and bad behaviour because I'm an introvert female aspie, sorry.

I think it's normal for everyone (AS or NT) it's just that it's more severe for "aspies" than NTs usually, and emotional expression isn't exactly our forte (; . I am extremely different when I leave the house, somtimes it's for the better though.

You've probably tried this already, but try telling him ahead of time where we're going, and not like "we're going here in ten minutes" I mean like at least an hour, more if possible. Try to set up a time frame for how long the outing will take, and always say it'll take way longer than you actually think it will because if it takes longer than you told him it will, even by two minutes, a meltdown is likely.

My son is the same way. I really didn't know the nature of his issues until he started kindergarten. He was never an easy child, but he's much more agreeable at home. Only now at age 9 is he starting to get a clue that's it's not good to embarrass yourself (or your mother ) in public.

I've heard that a lot of kids on the spectrum hold it together at school, but not at home. Ours is the opposite case.

Have you self assessed to see if it is you who are more critical of what he is doing when you are out. Maybe your behavior change is affecting his understanding of how to act when out with you. It may be that you are relaxed when at home away from prying eyes but when you are out you are aware of what other people might think...


It is one lens to peer through.
Try talking him through it and be honest with him about what and why you as a family unit must behave in certain ways.

And the world is exciting and different. Simple things that others wouldn't think draw the attention of a child; especially one who is more prone to see them.

depends. In the times where it's more stressful at home, work looks good... I think it's about where you feel comfortable, and who you're comfortable around.

Same here.
As an adult, I'm comfortable at home & am ill-at-ease when out in public/around strangers.
At home, I can relax-and not worry about having to pretend to feel & function better than how it really is for me at that moment. In public, I feel pressed into "show" mode: on display, under scrutiny, stressed the whole time.
Also, in addition to having to control one's output there's so much more input (motion, stimuli, transitions, procedures, stops & starts along the way) to handle.
I "behave myself" (to an observer), but am (invisibly, emotionally) feeling so restricted & nervous that I can barely enjoy or pay attention to things beyond threat-assessment level/mode. So how I seem (for instance, timid & quiet-"good" behavior, in public) to someone else might be the opposite to how I'm experiencing environment/situation/event (as negative, unpleasant, scary).