Have you ever downplayed your problems with disastrous resul

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ts?


When my shrink asked me if I could think about happy things, I was confused; I could but couldn't. When I was asked if my black holes were material or immaterial, I said they were material, but no, they probably wouldn't see it if they cut opewn my head... that, well, maybe they would. I should have said at least that they were smaller but all-pervasive. I think I said that they might find more darkness or something. I should have said yes, because there were times where I felt like they would find it if they cut my heqd open. Heck, I knew it. I hope not, though! As a result of me not explaining myself properly he tried to debate me out of the black holes, rather than give me a better antidepressant immediately which woould probably have prevented further losses of pieces of my soul.

Ana, when I was very little I was fascinated by the open vault of the church I went to. We would all troop down the carpeted aisle and the candles and the flowers and in the children's choir I was singing into that space and grew up year after year in the choir and when the sermon started I went into my head to my place up above the pews. I used to hover there in my head and watch the people below and how flowers smelled and the candles burned into that dimension. But my body was stuck down on the pew and I just knew I could levitate into the space in the dome, I just knew it! I never did with my body, yet, though.

Merle

LO; I meant, have you ever realized that you could have saved yourself if you'd told the truth about how bad your problem was?

that's one of the things I'm worried about- I'm going to see my GP next Friday about seeing a psychiatrist. I'm afraid of 'exagerating' the problem, so I'll probably under-play everything or not give all the info I can. I know all the 'right' answers to the questions (aspergers itself has become my obsession), but there's always exceptions- I can answer all and none of the questions at the same time depending on what part of my childhood I think back to (e.g. there are incidences where I've got on quite well with people, for a while). But how to say this without being dismissed as an emo teenager, I don't know...

Lene, I did it for fear of exaggerating as well, for fear of not being taken seriously at all because I appeared to be exaggerating, being treated like an attention whore rather than a depressive in the midst of an emergency, crisis, whatever.


LostInSpace, I did it with physical stuff too when I was little.

i made it clear to my psycologist that i may not express things as fully or appropriately as necessary

No. In my experience, telling more always got me in trouble. I couldn't have problems or bad thoughts without people looking at me like "is she going to her room? what's that in her hand? a gun? is she going to kill herself? I better follow! KRISTA ARE YOU OKAY?!?"

My disclaimer is always "I will never kill myself, I promise I don't have it in me." So short of that, no one really cares anymore.

my psychologist asked me, when I told him I expected no 'therapy, nor cure' from his involvement 'then why are you here?'

I said I wanted to get DXed so I could wear a little medic alert bracelet and instead of it saying "diabetic" or "asthmatic" it could say "mild Autism" and then I could have a fighting chance to get my mental feet under me if I were in some law enforcement or other emergency situation. He had never thought of anything like that and could see the importance it would have in immediately establishing my being a responsible person for communicating the information in such a concrete way (rather than flailing around being thought I was TRYING to be a knob) and for myself to retain some dignity in my own self esteem. He thought it was quite appropriate, and asked me to research that for him, as others could probably benefit from that as well. just an idea that anyone can implement.


Merle

Downplaying my problems is something I learned to do early on, not that it can ever be done successfully.

I downplay my problems, so that people don't panic and worry about me.