Possibility of having AS. How to proceed?

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Hi everyone,

Yesterday I fell victim to a series of unfortunate events. Let me unfold the story.
I was browsing through imdb.com looking for some classics to see and my eye fell upon Steven Spielberg's profile. While checking out his biography I read that as a child he had undiagnosed AS.
Curious as I am and not knowing ANYthing about Asperger's I googled it and found an article on wikipedia.

As I gradually read through the article I came to realize that many of the symptoms mentioned were strikingly, if not scarily, similar to what I experience in every day life.
Intrigued by this I did some more research: watched a couple of videos on youtube, read some real-life stories etc.
I do have the feeling from time to time that I am not a part of the world I live in. I do have a tendency for avoiding social contact as is proven by the fact that: I very rarely visit parties (parties amongst equally aged people can be counted on two hands, maybe one), I've never had many friends (although always some people that I respect and trust and know what they are about), I've never had a girlfriend (almost 21 of age by the way) , I feel awkward amongst others and in the midst of attention (most of the times, unless I am talking about a subject that has gained my intrest), I don't talk that much, I can stare from time to time at nothing in particular, I feel much more comfortable with my brother than with anyone else.

In high school some teachers were really annoyed by my lack of participation in class and I got bad behaviour grades for it at one moment (I was a very good student though and did all assignments with utmost care). Many teachers were surprised by the quality of my writing (in story creating as well as in analytical and synthetic writing) as opposed to my silentness in class. Many found me to be more mature, also kind of severe and 'emotional/passionable defunctive' (no girlfriend, remember ) as I would call it. I extremely rarely read books (no fiction unless I have to) and have a strong preference towards movies.
I also do have the terrible habbit of delaying things to the extreme. I tend to focus on details as well: I'm studying industrial design engineering and when working in group I can be quite demanding to get everything top-notch (I AM a perfectionist). Also much better in written than spoken word. I have noticed for a longer time that I have certain tics (physical and especially mentally (running through the same thought patterns over and over)), like when I am reading a book and have to figure every detail, including margins, page number, layout (not mentioning the actual text); This has become mild now, however.

I was really, really, really shocked by the resemblance of the events with the the symptoms I read about.

Another thing is that I read that AS is probably a 'hard-wired' symptom, one that it is predetermined by birth. The fact is that my younger brother has got Spina Bifida, which is a much more visible (mostly physical) handicap due to problems with spinal development in the womb. However it has got nothing to do with AS as is, it makes me believe that the chances of me being diagnosed AS might be bigger due to this. There is however no evidence of one having any form of autism in any direction of family (not that I know off atleast).

I also took the AQ-test online, which resulted for me in scoring 34 on first try. In general I don't like this kind of short, labeling tests, but it has opened my eyes to say the least and it has brought me to these forums.


What makes it kind of hard for me to take this to the next step is not having had any experience with being diagnosed with any kind of autism or not having undergone any kind of psychological screening, not even thinking about the possiblity. I also thought I was living my life perfectly well because, partly, I got through school pretty well up to now (always scoring high) and have thought to have done things that I like. So maybe I am just carried away by what I read.
Now we come to the culmination of this all: what steps should I take now or is there any advice you can give me as to how to deal with the issues involved?


greetings,
driesel

out of Belgium

I'm sure you will get many different answers from our wonderful family, and I thought I'd chime in with mine.

I am diagnosed, but late in life. There is nothing to be done, no 'help' for me, because I have adjusted to all of my quirks and oddities, have a fairly successful life, and feel no need whatsoever to socialize.
Therefore, the fact that I have AS doesn't really impact me at all. Since I work around my weaknesses and play to my strengths, there is no broken part of me to fix.

Do you feel you are held back from something by your AS, if you do have it? Is there some aspect of your life you wish was different? If there is, I would pursue a diagnosis. If you are not, and you pursue it, you will likely run into what some of us have, that since you have no 'problem', there is no need to 'cure' you.

I am diagnosed, but do not take meds, as I meditate when I am anxious, or practice T'ai Ch'i, don't want to socialize, and happily explore the creativity my AS fuels. Therefore there is no need for medication or therapy, as I have trained myself into different behaviors and cope well. If you want to explore a diagnosis, investigate how things are handled in Belgium, and what kind of doctor you need to see. It could be that other conditions that sometimes exist hand in hand with AS may cause you a problem, and you may seek treatment for those (I have OCD).

Regardless of whether or not you seek treatment, I am glad that you have found us. Keep posting, and keep investigating, on your own, or with the help of medical professionals.

Welcome!!

Hi Driesel, and welcome

First and foremost: Don't Panic. LOL. You may be, you may not be, but you're still the same person you were the day before.

My advice is to hang around here a bit, and also read some more on the web - there is a lot of information there.

If you still feel that it applies to you, try to find a specialist in your area (asking around for educational psychologists linked to autistic schools are a good start). Please find someone that has experience specifically with adults and Aspergers - it will save you a lot of frustration and confusion.

Glad you found us.

I have had a similar experience. You may not need to get a formal diagnosis, after all there is no clear treatment. Just knowing it's autism is enough to give me direction for coping strategies. I got through school, I have a good career, I don't take meds...

First, if you really think you have it, there are some weird tests you can take. But they're a pain. Second, if you're worrying about it, then you're still alive and in good shape. I've had it all my life. Never stood in my way.

Welcome to wrong planet. Most of the people here are VERY smart. And they have AS. And I agree with the previous poster who said (kinda) "you're almost the same person you were yesterday," so if you've had it, you've had it for a long time. You just didn't know what it was.

I'm not trying to be funny, or treat your post lightly. But some of the people I've met here are a whole lot more decent human beings then a lot of NT's I know. Not that I have anything against NTs. I married one some 20 years ago.

Cheers
Btdt

Your situation sounds a LOT like mine. I also saw something about AS which peaked my interest and immediately went off to research it. I've been browsing these boards for a while because people here seem to have a lot of the same issues and concerns that I have, and that's true whether I have asperger's, don't have asperger's, or never get officially tested.

The only other issue is if you feel that certain characteristics you have are holding you back in some way, and particularly in a way that could be circumvented with a diagnosis.

I've seen a couple of topics in the past few days alone about whether to get diagnosed on these boards. I think one was in the student/college section and the other was in general discussion maybe. But yeah, don't panic.

driesel,

I am surprised how people here act. Frankly, it is pervasive only because it affects a lot, and developmental only because it affects development. It is a disorder only because it is different from expected.

You have already been through the worst. A diagnosis won't hurt or help. You DO, however, now know why a lot of things happened as they did.

BTW WELCOME! Yeah, I had a similar experience recently, and I am over 40!

Thanks for the useful insights into how to coping with it (coping sound kind of out of place).
It may not have been clearly put in my initial post, but I'm not directly aiming at an official diagnosis. The important thing is indeed that I now know there is something like AS. And in some way it comforts me (that's why I like Blade Runner so much ). In my close environment (family and some friends) I have often been looked upon as being strange due to my lack of social interest. This does not necessarily mean I can't enjoy a drink or something (with people I enjoy being with and good atmosphere). I will however hardly take initiative myself and as far as I can remember I have not made any close friends beside school. In fact -now I think about it- my mother has been slightly mad at me several times in the past for me not wanting to seek contact with people.
It's not that I intrinsically dislike people or having a chat, it's that I don't seem to need those things that much.

And I am moderately happy of who I am and with what I do. People respect me and I think I am viewed at as a friendly (yet silent, severe and for the most stubborn) student with good overall capabilities, also willing to help when others need it, but I would definetily want to enhance some social abilities, having AS's or not.

Hiya driesel and welcome here.

I am like some of the others, I found out about my AS when I was 39. Having an official diagnosis does not necessarily help you if you are on the upper end of the spectrum. I have AS, and either through learning of coping skills, especially social skills, or the fact that I have a "mild" case of AS on the social end I live a fairly normal life. I have a degree, a nice wife, a child, a job I usually enjoy and a comfortable house in a nice neighborhood.

I still can come off weird or colorful at times, even with coping skills and I can kill a conversation in a heartbeat, but I don't let that stop me and the official diagnosis has not really helped me much. What it has done, has helped me with understanding myself better and has lead me to learn some better coping skills. It has also helped with my wife understanding me better and realizing that some of the weird things that I do are not me being obtuse, but it is how I am wired.

Some people on the other hand, have much more severe aspects of AS, and the official diagnosis for them opens up doors into government sponsored programs that really help them.


So my advice is that if you really don't feel like you need an official diagnosis, then don't get one. You can still come here and have social intercourse with others in a similar situation and can still benefit and learn from these discussions.

take gin and vermouth to taste. Shake, do not stir. Insert olive on toothpic. Oh, wrong directions...

it hasn't killed me yet...though there are those who might like to help the process along...

welcome.

dear driesel,

i feel for you because i am going thru the exact same thing right now. i just joined this forum to find out more about AS, hopefully i would get some answer.

my experience is similar to yours. I find out about AS from Americas next top model last year, and one of its contestants has AS. i got curious on some of the things she said, like having lack of eye contact, akward in social situations, i mean thats me right there.

eventually, more and more things seems to make sense. like i hav few friends, yes i do know a lot of people, but most of the relationship never last, due to my part being so shy.

all of my life, i kept thinking, why am i so introverted, why am i so scared to be in a public area. its kinda depressing to hear this, but i always spend my recess time at school alone. i didnt occur to me then to make friends.i kept telling myself that, it will be better, its gonna be okay. eventually you will not feel akward in your skin anymore. unfortunately that in not the case. im still scared to be in a restaurant, eventhough i dont have to speak to anyone, but still, i feel weird just being there.

maybe just maybe, if i find out that if i do have AS, i might get closure, who knows?

This is my first post. I had a very similar experience to the OP. I was reading about Asperger Syndrome today, and I was very shocked to find that the symptoms listed in the wikipedia article described many of my "quirks." That article linked to Wrong Planet, and after reading several threads, I'm almost convinced that I'm an aspie.

I had always felt different, even alone in the world- except when I was with some of my family members. I'd convinced myself that everyone must feel like that from time to time, and that I was just too "up in my head."

I can't believe that there may be other people like me! It is so hard for me to relate to people that the chance of people 'getting me' makes me feel very relieved!

Welcome to the board and hopefully all new posters will find the support that they seek. However it is important to make a distinction between a schizoid personality and autism. Not being sociable or not having many friends does not automatically mean autism. What are described by many people on this board – though they are not often spoken of in the literature – are issues like sensory disorientation, sleep disruption and temporary verbal impairment. As you go through the threads and pick up on what gets talked about, a better sense of what autism is will probably build. There is very little value in an official diagnosis, and in some places getting diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome can make getting health insurance difficult with no benefits for the costs involved, other than to gain better self awareness. Furthermore, because a lot of what happens goes on within the autistic individual, Asperger’s Syndrome being a mild form of autism can be very difficult to properly diagnose purely from behavioral observations.

But as you trawl through the board you will surely notice that the people here are usually very smart and they often have a lot of free time on their hands (read: most people with this condition are unemployed). Consequently it is not a bad place to hang out even if you think that you do not have Asperger’s Syndrome. And as an added bonus, we come from all four corners of the earth.